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02-16-2009, 06:11 PM | #1 |
The Illuminati
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: the road less traveled
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Not like this. There were 5 year olds with black and rotting teeth. They couldn't even smile. Literally everyone drank Mountain Dew, they even give it to babies.
If that's normal to you, then remind me not to relocate wherever you live. |
Posts: 12,033
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02-16-2009, 06:13 PM | #2 | |
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Quote:
Maybe that's where they got the name? All the hillbillies drink the "Mountain Dew". |
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02-16-2009, 06:15 PM | #3 |
The Illuminati
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: the road less traveled
Casino cash: $10004900
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02-16-2009, 09:30 PM | #4 |
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Location: Utopia
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Mountain Dew refers to grain alcohol....corn-squeezins'....white lightenin'...fire water...moon shine. ....You high falutin', shoe shinin', turtle neck wearin', soul glow smellin', mullet highlightin', muppet fart sniffing sack of pet howler monkey shit. |
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02-16-2009, 09:32 PM | #5 | |
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Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Hollywood, CA
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Quote:
I haven't touched that stuff since high school. Grain parties were hilarious. They're would be all these people saying "Hey, Grain's nothing! I can't even feel it!". 15 minutes later, everyone's passed out on the floor. |
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02-16-2009, 09:35 PM | #6 | |
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Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: In a shotgun shack
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Quote:
Yeah, I remember the first time someone handed me a bottle of that stuff. I didn't understand what the big deal was. It didn't take us long to find out. You couldn't pay me to drink it now, I wouldn't be able to work for a week. |
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02-16-2009, 10:40 PM | #7 | |
testing ... 1, 2, 3
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Tennessee
Casino cash: $6753759
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Quote:
I once knew this giant hippie guy (not very well, mind you, for I am upstanding) who stood probably 6.4 or so and weighed in at 350 at a minimum. Well, this giant hippie guy worked for another guy from Joplin who owned some bars around the area among other various entrepreneurial pursuits. Anyhow, from what I could tell, this giant hippie guy's basic job was to spend his days sitting behind a desk in some sort of outbuilding structure located by his boss's house in the country, answering phones, and shooting the bull with whoever just happened to drop by. The thing is that he kept a clear glass gallon jug of shine with him at all times. Without fail, and on each and every occasion in which I encountered this individual, he would heft up his jug by sort of twisting his wrist and cradling it in his elbow. Then he would throw his massive head back, pour about a cup and a half of that sh*t down his gullet, slam the jug down with a resounding thump, wipe the dribble off his beard with the back of his hand, and shout "Hooooeeeeooo!" at the top of his lungs. Remarkably, he would repeat these actions every 10 to 20 minutes or so - I swear to God - all friggin' day long. Needless to say, I was both impressed and horrified. One day, he offered me a swig and, either out of concern for etiquette or fear, I felt compelled to accept. Well, Holy Mary Mother Of Jesus On The Train To Perdition, that sh*t was incredible. I could feel it burn like hot knives forged in the fires of Hell all the way down from the tip of my tongue to the ends of my toes. Within moments what was left of my rational mind accepted the fact that I had basically just quaffed an inordinate share of liquid death and stepped voluntarily through the looking glass into a brave new world comprised primarily of blurred images, slurred speech, and vomit. I swear, how this giant hippie dude could handle the sheer volume of devil's sweat he consumed in just an hour's time was an absolute miracle of nature, although I'm sure he's long since gone to the great revenuer in the sky. Farewell, giant hippie guy. You are not forgotten. FAX |
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02-16-2009, 06:14 PM | #8 |
Hockey Town
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
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When I first read his reply I thought he was saying incest was a problem everywhere and I was like uhhhh, then I reread it.
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