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Old 11-13-2016, 05:15 PM   Topic Starter
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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Ten Things About Today's Game: Week 10

Ten Things About Today’s Game: Week 10

10.There is no such thing as a bad win. There are bad performances. There are bad plays. But I would rather win ugly than not win at all. This game was simply a mixed bag of money and manure, and our second gifted win in one season. San Diego gift wrapped a win for us opening day, and Cam Newton and the Carolina offense gifted this game to us today, despite all of Alice Smiff’s efforts to the contrary. If not for Dontari Poe, Dee Ford, Chris Jones, Eric Berry, Marcus Peters, Tyreek Hill and the Brazilian Midget (or “Pocket Jesus” as Tiny Evel likes to call him), we lose. And we lose a game in the AFC West race to the only team luckier than we were today, the Donks. Despite Carolina’s losing record, they’re still the defending NFC Champs. When you checked the schedule before the season began, you probably mark this game down as an “L.” The first three quarters were certainly that. Luckily, football is a four quarter affair.

9. The last time KC went to Carolina in 2008, we lost 34-0. Up until the very end of the first half, it looked like that could very well happen again this year. Cam Newton is the current NFL QB who closest resembles how Horse Face used to play us. He’s big, hard to bring down, always a danger to run, likes to rub your nose in it too. The difference between Newton and Elway is, Elway knew how to win in crunch time. Newton, still working on that. This game was won by defense and special teams, the offense was a detriment to the effort in every way, shape and form. Houdini would be proud of the Chiefs fourth quarter effort. Let’s look at the abysmal performance of the offense as a whole and then give ourselves a courtesy flush:

8. In the first half….oh sorry, Schwartz just jumped offside. As I was saying, in the first half…oh sorry, Harris just dropped a pass that hit him between the 8 and the 4. In the first half…excuse me, Fisher just jumped offside. OK…in the first half, oh man, Wilson just dropped a ball right in his hands. You get the point. Every tight end had a catchable ball drop. Wilson shows alligator arms. Conley was non-existent. Chiefs have nine penalties including four offside penalties by offensive linemen. The stadium wasn’t even close to sold out, so noise could not have been that big of a deal. KC continues to be flat out awful on third down, 2 for 12 today. KC ran 61 offensive plays and only had 256 yards of total offense, averaging FOUR DAMN YARDS PER PASS. Which leads us to Alice Smiff…

7. If Alice still had a headache, he should have taken another week off. His first long pass attempt should have been a TD, except he under-threw Hill by about five yards, snuffing a drive and turning the play into an arm punt. Watch it here:
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OK, so since he under threw his first pass attempt that was more than five yards, so the rest of the day, he decided to either over throw everyone, or just flat out ignore wide open receivers. In the 4th Quarter before Berry’s pick six, it’s 17-3, KC has the ball in the red zone for the first time all day. Alex flat out misses two guys, Kelce and Conley WIDE OPEN in the left corner of the end zone, on BACK TO BACK PLAYS. Unbelievable. Andy settles for a field goal:
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Then with four minutes left in the game, Alice has a chance to win it outright, and over throws Kelce on a 15 yard pass to the end zone:
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Andy settles for a field goal to tie the game, and gives Newton four minutes to try for the Carolina win. Alice even attempted to throw the ball twice on one play. He completed a pass to himself, then tried to throw the ball downfield again in a fit of “OH SHIT!” Unfortunately, that’s illegal. You would think a starting NFL QB would know that’s a rule. During that series, our next to last offensive series before the Peters' strip, we went from 1st and 10 on the 20 with 1:47 and three time outs, and end up 4th and 15, punting with 43 seconds left. Alice ends up with 178 yard passing on 38 attempts, throws a pick, no TDs and is sacked three times. Enough on Alice. Suffice to say, we won despite his best efforts.

6. The first time KC crossed mid field was with less than 90 seconds left in the first half. The defense was gassed at halftime. Carolina ran the hurry up. Gaines went out, and Acker came in -who was picked on immediately. You can tell its a bad day when your D-Backs lead the team in tackles. Our top three tacklers were Berry, Peters and Nelson. This game turned on back to back sacks right at the end of the third quarter. Ford got one, then Jones got a big one on the next play, on third down to take Carolina out of field goal range. If they get three at that juncture, the game is probably over. Next series, Newton gets frustrated; panics in the face of a safety blitz by Parker and Sorensen, and lays up a duck right to Eric Berry, who makes a gutsy pick six return. This is why Berry is a Pro Bowler:
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5. The Peters giveth, and the Peters taketh away. or in the case of today, vice versa. Peters may be the AFC Defensive Player of the Year. He is also an immature, selfish, undisciplined dumb ass. Carolina pushed their luck by not just taking the game into overtime. Peters makes a Pro-Bowl play to strip the ball with 30 seconds left in the game. Great play. Fantastic. But then, for whatever reason, he decides for the second week in a row he wants to audition for Dustin Colquitt’s job and punts the ball into the stands; turning a 43 yard field goal attempt on a damp field into a potential 47 yard field goal. And we’re lucky all he was flagged for was delay of game. He could have easily been hit with a 15-yarder for taunting. Just like last week, it took a great run to get the ball back into better range:
View My Video

4. I’m a little concerned about the aftermath of this game. On defense, Gaines seems to be made of china. Can’t rely on him to be there week after week. Poe got nicked up. DJ has a bad hammy. Hali was in and out on a gimpy knee. Peters got a stinger on his arm. Jones has been playing on a bad ankle. Jaye Howard and Justin Houston were both out. Ware got dinged up again. Of course, this time of year, all players have bumps and bruises. Just hope these guys can hold it together and not suffer anything too serious.

3. Tyreek Hill is our number two guy now, and he deserves it. With no Maclin, he’s the only speed threat we have (since DAT never sees the field). He catches the ball. He did fumble one that could have been a disaster, but it rolled out of bounds. He’s been consistently good on punt returns, providing critical field position when needed. Specials did their part. Colquitt was mixed, he had one punt that should have been down on the one foot line, but Acker couldn’t keep his foot off the end zone line. The Brazilian Midget was money today. Four for four on a damp field, and clutch in the fourth quarter. Ware did a nice job, rushing for 61 yards and picking up blitzing linebackers. Chiefs had 91 yards rushing as a team, which isn’t great, but Ware’s final rush for 12 yards helped the final field goal kill shot tremendously.

2. Andy’s play calling is still making me crazy. Please do away with any pass play behind the line of scrimmage. Please do away with any pass play on third down that is not past the line to make first. I can’t tell you how many times this year Alice has thrown a five yard pass on third and eight. If not for two take aways in the fourth quarter, we lose this game 17-9. If you hold Carolina to 17 points -including a shut out in the second half- that should be plenty of defense to win. Today defense was also the offense. And that’s why they call it a three phase game.

1. So what happens now? Denver continues to be the luckiest team in football, and gets a gift win on the road in New Orleans. Next up we get the Bucs and Jameis Penis in Arrowhead, who destroyed Chicago today. Then we get the Donks in Denver. Then a road game in Atlanta against the NFC South leading Falcons. So the next three weeks won’t be easy. But you know what? Look at the AFC West Standings... Guess who’s at the top, baby? There are no bad wins. Let’s send Newton a nice thank you note, and get ready to spank those Bucs. Bring it, and bring it loud my friends.

Last edited by gblowfish; 11-13-2016 at 05:22 PM..
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