View Poll Results: What attributes will my new neighbor(s) have? Check all that apply.
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Will be “distant friendly”, waving but seldom chatting
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18 |
36.00% |
Will be a Chiefs fan
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3 |
6.00% |
Will be a cult
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7 |
14.00% |
Will be a member of Chiefsplanet
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1 |
2.00% |
Will be a recluse, never leaving the house
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5 |
10.00% |
Will be a stoner
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17 |
34.00% |
Will be a vegan
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10 |
20.00% |
Will be an avid Broncos fan
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24 |
48.00% |
Will be retired
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3 |
6.00% |
Will be swingers who propose wife swapping
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7 |
14.00% |
Will be the Barney and Betty to my Fried and Wilma and we'll do everything together
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2 |
4.00% |
Will be very interested in unexplained phenomena like Bigfoot and UFOs
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6 |
12.00% |
Will be Von Miller
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6 |
12.00% |
Will be more than 15 years younger than me
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14 |
28.00% |
Will come into my house unannounced and take food out of my refrigerator
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6 |
12.00% |
Will contain a registered sex offender (not a teacher who scored with a student)
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9 |
18.00% |
Will contain a registered sex offender who is a teacher who scored with her student.
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7 |
14.00% |
Will contain an adult child who never launched
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10 |
20.00% |
Will eventually hop a freighter to Venezuela with me
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3 |
6.00% |
Will give out amazing candy at Halloween, like 16 ounce Hershey bars
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4 |
8.00% |
Will grow large quantities of marijuana in the house
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9 |
18.00% |
Will hang out on my porch with me, drinking Pibb Xtra and commenting on pedestrians
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3 |
6.00% |
Will have a constantly barking dog
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13 |
26.00% |
Will have a Duggar-like family composition
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3 |
6.00% |
Will have a scorchingly hot college-age daughter
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5 |
10.00% |
Will have a telescope pointed toward my window
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8 |
16.00% |
Will have a weird tech job that I can't even make conversation about, so I can only nod when they tell me
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5 |
10.00% |
Will have awesome Christmas lights
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3 |
6.00% |
Will have weird and dull hobbies that don’t interest me at all.
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10 |
20.00% |
Will include an attractive mature woman who does naked yoga
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5 |
10.00% |
Will include at least one nude sunbather woman
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3 |
6.00% |
Will invite us onto their yacht for epic adventures
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1 |
2.00% |
Will let me play with their cat.
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4 |
8.00% |
Will like my wife, but not me.
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11 |
22.00% |
Will maintain a world-class yard
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2 |
4.00% |
Will move out again within two years
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8 |
16.00% |
Will mow their lawn in Bermuda shorts and sandals with socks
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6 |
12.00% |
Will never acknowledge my existence
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7 |
14.00% |
Will not speak English
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6 |
12.00% |
Will own a loud motorcycle that they rev early in the morning
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6 |
12.00% |
Will paint their house in zebra stripes or camo
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3 |
6.00% |
Will put out planters that are made from old tires or barrels
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7 |
14.00% |
Will regularly bring me delicious homemade pies
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2 |
4.00% |
Will rent out an AirBnB room
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6 |
12.00% |
Will restore my faith in humanity with their kindness
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1 |
2.00% |
Will shovel my walk of snow just to be nice
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1 |
2.00% |
Will sit on a couch on their porch, wearing a wife beater shirt and glaring at me
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11 |
22.00% |
Will take issue with our fence placement
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11 |
22.00% |
I think the house will sit vacant and never be occupied.
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2 |
4.00% |
I think your neighbors are imaginary and you really live next door to an empty lot.
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4 |
8.00% |