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Old 10-27-2014, 12:45 PM  
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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Hey Guys,

I am not a big attention whore - and I realize that it's risky to post threads like this. But I have a big secret that I've kept to myself for quite sometime. I have a bad problem (for maybe the last 2-3 months) with major depression.

Last night wasn't good at all - I literally felt like I could have died. I was having sweats, uncontrolled emotional breakdowns and other things that I'm not quite ready to discuss.

Sometimes I wonder if the fact that I had quit drinking without assistance such as AA is part of it and if it would have been a better transition than simply cold-turkey. There's a term called a 'dry drunk' - where the person who'd kicked the habit still has some of the same issues with personality etc etc... I recently had another bad break up - I've gone through enough women in the last two yrs - where I'm starting to wonder if it's me. Nothing seems to last over a month or two.

I need to find some help - but as a business owner it's so hard to find extra time. My social life COULD be much better - but not drinking puts a damper on any 'normal' social mediums - most others use. As well as it's just not the same attending a bar's happy hour sober or at least not in the same relaxed mind set - others are in.

I really don't want to be alone. Man isn't designed to be alone & I've reached a point I'm ready to love and sex can and will be somewhat secondary - I'm just ready to have something normal in my life, again.

Anyhow - I'd appreciate it if you had some serious input - jokes are fine too - but I'm not joking and I've been seriously struggling.

I have decent looks, I'm responsible and I have a nice job. So I wonder all of the time "WTF?"

It's not meeting women that's hard - but it's keeping them around.


Ty again you all are the best!
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:47 PM   #2
BlackHelicopters BlackHelicopters is offline
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Taking medication?
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:48 PM   #3
Sweet Daddy Hate Sweet Daddy Hate is offline
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Recovery first. There's no excuse. You take care of that and everything else will fall in line. PM me if you want more info. I'm major locked up with work today, but I'll be happy to respond when I get home, brother.
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:48 PM   #4
loochy loochy is offline
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Originally Posted by Simply Red View Post

I need to find some help - but as a business owner it's so hard to find extra time.
Well guess what. You have to MAKE time. If you don't, things might get to the point where you aren't a business owner anymore.

Get on this NOW, not later.
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:52 PM   #5
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Sorry to hear this, SR.

Could it be that your struggle with depression is linked to the issue with women? If so, address the depression.
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:52 PM   #6
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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Taking medication?
well I've had a cold - but nothing as far as anti-depressants - I'll try to see about that when I talk to Sam my counselor, he'll know of a doctor - I'm not sure if that'd (meds) help or make matters worse.
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:54 PM   #7
RINGLEADER RINGLEADER is offline
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I know it is just words but you really need to find happiness with yourself before you can share it with anyone else. It is healthy to get to a spot where you don't need another person to feel content. And when you don't *need* anyone else it is much easier to keep them around, have no expectations, and just enjoy the time you get to spend together.
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:56 PM   #8
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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Originally Posted by RINGLEADER View Post
I know it is just words but you really need to find happiness with yourself before you can share it with anyone else. It is healthy to get to a spot where you don't need another person to feel content. And when you don't *need* anyone else it is much easier to keep them around, have no expectations, and just enjoy the time you get to spend together.
yeah thanks guys.
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:57 PM   #9
BlackHelicopters BlackHelicopters is offline
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Originally Posted by Simply Red View Post
well I've had a cold - but nothing as far as anti-depressants - I'll try to see about that when I talk to Sam my counselor, he'll know of a doctor - I'm not sure if that'd (meds) help or make matters worse.
It's good to have a counselor. A referral to a psychiatrist should be next.
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:59 PM   #10
Pasta Little Brioni Pasta Little Brioni is offline
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Old 10-27-2014, 01:00 PM   #11
Steron Steron is offline
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I have anxiety / depression. I have been on Lexapro (Escitalopram), Cymbalta (Duloxetine) and I am currently taking Effexor (Venlafaxine). These medications do help. My wife and kids can tell if I don't take them. Obviously, I'm no doctor and I don't play one on television. I would go to your GP and see what he / she says. Good luck SR. You seem nice.
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Old 10-27-2014, 01:01 PM   #12
ChiTown ChiTown is offline
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Originally Posted by Simply Red View Post

It's not meeting women that's hard - but it's keeping them around.


Ty again you all are the best!
Brother, I love ya. I really do. But you are going to have to find a way to love yourself, before women can really love you.

If it's leading to a major depression problem, FIND THE TIME NOW, not later. Go take care of you, and make it THE priority. Nothing else is more important than that. Let us know how we can help.

Pat
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Old 10-27-2014, 01:01 PM   #13
Mr. Flopnuts Mr. Flopnuts is offline
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I know it is just words but you really need to find happiness with yourself before you can share it with anyone else. It is healthy to get to a spot where you don't need another person to feel content. And when you don't *need* anyone else it is much easier to keep them around, have no expectations, and just enjoy the time you get to spend together.
This is such a money post. My entire life is filled with issues right now, so I don't feel like up on some soapbox pontificating about what everyone else should do. I've got plenty of problems that I've put out there with friends in places I feel are better suited to find support than this website.

You have absolutely got to learn how to be comfortable in your own skin before you can find a compatible partner. The only thing you'll find right now are women who are in a broken state of mind like you are. What I mean is the only women that will want to stay right now are going to be broken girls thinking you guys can save each other.

I'm praying for you brother, anytime you want to talk you know you can reach out too me. Much love bruh. I'm here anytime.
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Old 10-27-2014, 01:03 PM   #14
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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I appreciate it - feel free to let the thread die - I think I needed to type out how I felt.

sucks today - being sick and then this other thing.


I'll be fine over time - I need to move out of this place too and sort of start over. I hope to be able to afford to break my lease soon. The last girl I dated lives in my building - so It's a pain in the ass to see her, etc...
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Old 10-27-2014, 01:04 PM   #15
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I went in for a manscaping this morning. Very relaxing, slowed things down for me. Just a suggestion...
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