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View Poll Results: What attributes will my new neighbor(s) have? Check all that apply. | |||
Will be “distant friendly”, waving but seldom chatting | 18 | 36.00% | |
Will be a Chiefs fan | 3 | 6.00% | |
Will be a cult | 7 | 14.00% | |
Will be a member of Chiefsplanet | 1 | 2.00% | |
Will be a recluse, never leaving the house | 5 | 10.00% | |
Will be a stoner | 17 | 34.00% | |
Will be a vegan | 10 | 20.00% | |
Will be an avid Broncos fan | 24 | 48.00% | |
Will be retired | 3 | 6.00% | |
Will be swingers who propose wife swapping | 7 | 14.00% | |
Will be the Barney and Betty to my Fried and Wilma and we'll do everything together | 2 | 4.00% | |
Will be very interested in unexplained phenomena like Bigfoot and UFOs | 6 | 12.00% | |
Will be Von Miller | 6 | 12.00% | |
Will be more than 15 years younger than me | 14 | 28.00% | |
Will come into my house unannounced and take food out of my refrigerator | 6 | 12.00% | |
Will contain a registered sex offender (not a teacher who scored with a student) | 9 | 18.00% | |
Will contain a registered sex offender who is a teacher who scored with her student. | 7 | 14.00% | |
Will contain an adult child who never launched | 10 | 20.00% | |
Will eventually hop a freighter to Venezuela with me | 3 | 6.00% | |
Will give out amazing candy at Halloween, like 16 ounce Hershey bars | 4 | 8.00% | |
Will grow large quantities of marijuana in the house | 9 | 18.00% | |
Will hang out on my porch with me, drinking Pibb Xtra and commenting on pedestrians | 3 | 6.00% | |
Will have a constantly barking dog | 13 | 26.00% | |
Will have a Duggar-like family composition | 3 | 6.00% | |
Will have a scorchingly hot college-age daughter | 5 | 10.00% | |
Will have a telescope pointed toward my window | 8 | 16.00% | |
Will have a weird tech job that I can't even make conversation about, so I can only nod when they tell me | 5 | 10.00% | |
Will have awesome Christmas lights | 3 | 6.00% | |
Will have weird and dull hobbies that don’t interest me at all. | 10 | 20.00% | |
Will include an attractive mature woman who does naked yoga | 5 | 10.00% | |
Will include at least one nude sunbather woman | 3 | 6.00% | |
Will invite us onto their yacht for epic adventures | 1 | 2.00% | |
Will let me play with their cat. | 4 | 8.00% | |
Will like my wife, but not me. | 11 | 22.00% | |
Will maintain a world-class yard | 2 | 4.00% | |
Will move out again within two years | 8 | 16.00% | |
Will mow their lawn in Bermuda shorts and sandals with socks | 6 | 12.00% | |
Will never acknowledge my existence | 7 | 14.00% | |
Will not speak English | 6 | 12.00% | |
Will own a loud motorcycle that they rev early in the morning | 6 | 12.00% | |
Will paint their house in zebra stripes or camo | 3 | 6.00% | |
Will put out planters that are made from old tires or barrels | 7 | 14.00% | |
Will regularly bring me delicious homemade pies | 2 | 4.00% | |
Will rent out an AirBnB room | 6 | 12.00% | |
Will restore my faith in humanity with their kindness | 1 | 2.00% | |
Will shovel my walk of snow just to be nice | 1 | 2.00% | |
Will sit on a couch on their porch, wearing a wife beater shirt and glaring at me | 11 | 22.00% | |
Will take issue with our fence placement | 11 | 22.00% | |
I think the house will sit vacant and never be occupied. | 2 | 4.00% | |
I think your neighbors are imaginary and you really live next door to an empty lot. | 4 | 8.00% | |
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 50. You may not vote on this poll |
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05-25-2018, 12:32 PM | Topic Starter |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
Join Date: Jul 2001
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My neighbor is moving.
I've lived in my house for 23 years, and I've always had the same two next door neighbors. Now one of them is going to move and I'm going to have to break in a new neighbor. I don't like the pace of change that I'm seeing.
I don't know what to expect. What will my new neighbor be like? Poll coming in a moving van that will park in front of my house. |
Posts: 141,710
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05-25-2018, 12:36 PM | #2 |
In Search of a Life
Join Date: Aug 2005
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I think they made an Academy Award Winning movie about your situation?
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05-25-2018, 12:39 PM | #3 |
MVP
Join Date: Sep 2005
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The best way to break in new neighbors is show them who is in charge.
I suggest the day they move in, show up with homemade cookies. Right when they reach for the cookies hit them on the head and say "Bad Neighbor!" Tip: Rolled up newspaper is a good object to use as the hitting device. |
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05-25-2018, 12:45 PM | #4 |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
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Location: My house
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I like the rolled up newspaper idea. I need to make sure that they know I'm in control of the block.
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I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit. |
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05-25-2018, 12:47 PM | #5 |
Hey Loochy, I'm hooome!
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: PooPooKaKaPeePeeShire
Casino cash: $1780752
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1. buy the old house
2. demolish old house 3. enjoy the extra space from the now empty lot 4. profit 5. buy an apricot bmw |
Posts: 40,639
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1 0 |
05-25-2018, 12:53 PM | #6 |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: My house
Casino cash: $2958491
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I've considered buy the house and then doing a big human-sized hamster tunnel to connect our houses. That would be fun. But I don't need the room.
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05-25-2018, 12:48 PM | #7 |
Supporter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Scott City KS
Casino cash: $1954734
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Eh. Just be hanging out in your garage with the door open when they roll up in the van. Sets the right tone.
/Takes cover for the Dongerplosion. |
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05-25-2018, 12:50 PM | #8 |
Spiraling down the Drain
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dante's Ninth Circle
Casino cash: $2380588
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Drone on constantly about your Apricot BMW to put the fear in them. Also loathing.
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"We're both part of the same hypocrisy, Senator, but never think it applies to my family." "Fredo. You are my brother, and I love you. But never take sides against the Family again. Ever." 2019 Adopt a Chief - Travis Kelce #87 |
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05-25-2018, 12:55 PM | #9 |
MVP
Join Date: Aug 2017
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Very enjoyable poll.
Kudos to you for my laugh of the day. |
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05-25-2018, 01:07 PM | #10 |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
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Location: My house
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I'm glad you're enjoying the poll, but I'm not. Early returns indicate that my new neighbor will be a stoner Broncos fan with a yippy dog.
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05-25-2018, 05:12 PM | #11 |
MVP
Join Date: Aug 2017
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I voted Broncos fan because that would be the nightmare scenario. You guys and Chargers fans are fun folk. Most Broncos fans, with the few exceptions here, are arrogant.
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05-25-2018, 12:57 PM | #12 |
MVP
Join Date: Feb 2013
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If it does turn out to be a registered sex offender who is a teacher who scored with her student, please post pics so we can judge her guilt.
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Posts: 17,401
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1 0 |
05-25-2018, 01:08 PM | #13 |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: My house
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Oh, absolutely. And I'll let everyone know if she's teaching adult ed classes now at the local community college.
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05-25-2018, 01:10 PM | #14 |
Spiraling down the Drain
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dante's Ninth Circle
Casino cash: $2380588
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Please post pics of scorchingly hot college girl.
__________________
"We're both part of the same hypocrisy, Senator, but never think it applies to my family." "Fredo. You are my brother, and I love you. But never take sides against the Family again. Ever." 2019 Adopt a Chief - Travis Kelce #87 |
Posts: 31,737
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05-25-2018, 01:12 PM | #15 |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: My house
Casino cash: $2958491
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I'm rooting for twins, but I don't want to get my hopes too high.
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