screenwriting

[saphojunkie]

I don't talk about it alot, but I'm a screenwriter in LA. Normally, that means doing the "couch and water tour" where you meet a bunch of development executives. These execs typically view meetings as a mixture between employment justification and scratch-off lotto tickets - if something hits, great! If not... well, at least they can explain to the head of production what they did with their day.

But this week... this week is good.

Long story short (which is the real trick to screenwriting), a friend and I co-wrote a script together. Due to the nature of this script, it is a big-budget, studio movie. Now, there's only a few places we can go to for that kind of material. One of the places we went is a MONSTROUSLY successful producer of hit movies, one of which is clobbering the box office this summer. Needless to say... we were slightly intimidated.

But he'd read the script and loved it. His big problem - it wasn't PG-13, and it needs to be PG-13. We'd written it for 35 year old guys, cuz that's what we are. But it needed to appeal to 14 year old girls, because assholes like you and me don't drive the cineplex.

So, we went back to making changes to our perfect, wonderful, precious, immaculate script.

Now, my favorite part of screenwriting, and the more astute of you will recognize my sarcasm, is when people ask you to make "minor changes." Everybody says this shit. "Nothing too major." "Just a couple tweaks."

Do you know what's minor? Actually minor? Taking out the F word. Changing "BETTY" to "JENNY" (because they're the same number of letters, so it won't screw with your line breaks).

The "minor" notes producers and studios want? Let me explain...

Imagine looking at an orange tree. it's perfect. Thick trunk, strong branches, healthy leaves, good fruit. We love it! the tree is great! We just have one SMALL, MINOR, TWEAK. Instead of oranges, how about figs? i mean, we're only changing 10% of the tree, right?

No, mother****er. I gotta go back, dig it up at the roots, replant, cultivate, grow, wait, and work.

Well, that's what the PG-13 notes were. Change the whole god damn thing.

But you know what? i did it.

My partner is busy with a TV show he's doing, so I took on the brunt of things. And I can't tell him "Hey bud! While you did nothing, I completely fixed our whole blockbuster script!" because A) he's a good friend; B) I'm not a dick, and C) He never lorded it over me when he cracked some major plot issue. That's just bad partnership to do that shit.

But I'm excited, because a seemingly insurmountable task was made mortal tonight. And I'm pouring myself a whiskey and hopefully my wife bums a cigarette off someone at the bar to bring home to me, because I earned it.

There aren't a lot of days when being a screenwriter is particularly rewarding (emotionally), so you have to love the actual work. No one will celebrate the writer, so the writer needs to celebrate the writing. That sounds trite as ****, but I don't care, because I already did my "good writing" for the night. I get to be a hack the rest of the week.

Anyway... here's to those good nights when you're proud of what you did.

Cheers.

[bowener]

Holy shit, man! Congrats! I am stoked for you! My dream is to be a screenwriter, but it just seems so impossible for me right now. I try to write daily, but that is more difficult than some people may believe. You deserve several drinks, bud.

[saphojunkie]

Thanks, bud! I'm pretty happy.

If you want to write screenplays then for the love of God, do it! But actually write screenplays, start to finish. Not just scenes.

Even if your scripts suck, you'll get better. And better. And better. I go back and read my early stuff, and I'm appalled. But I loved it then, because it was as good as I was able to do a the time.

And seriously, READ screenplays. You can find so many online nowadays it's ridiculous. Reading screenplays really hammers home that it's art, not mathematics. Any way you can communicate literally what is only imagined visually... you win. So, there is "structure" but there is also "whatever the **** works to communicate your vision."

[bowener]

Originally Posted by saphojunkie

Thanks, bud! I'm pretty happy.

If you want to write screenplays then for the love of God, do it! But actually write screenplays, start to finish. Not just scenes.

Even if your scripts suck, you'll get better. And better. And better. I go back and read my early stuff, and I'm appalled. But I loved it then, because it was as good as I was able to do a the time.

And seriously, READ screenplays. You can find so many online nowadays it's ridiculous. Reading screenplays really hammers home that it's art, not mathematics. Any way you can communicate literally what is only imagined visually... you win. So, there is "structure" but there is also "whatever the **** works to communicate your vision."

This statement relieves a lot of stress for me. I've had a few people critique me saying that I need to stick to plain descriptions and keep it simple. The problem is that it bores me. If it bores me to write it, then it most likely bores you to read it.

[Dayze]

dang. you're like, pretty smart and stuff.


one minor change though. be sure to us Oxford commas. no one wants to read that non-Oxford comma shit.

[Buehler445]

Really ****ing awesome man. Congrats.

PM me the title and I'll watch it. Even if it is for 14 to girls.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Originally Posted by Dayze

dang. you're like, pretty smart and stuff.


one minor change though. be sure to us Oxford commas. no one wants to read that non-Oxford comma shit.

This. But it also will benefit you to spell "use" correctly. No one wants to read that misspelled shit.

[SuperChief]

Congrats, dude. Any accomplishment is a major one in that industry, I can tell you from experience. Enjoy your hard work, and work even harder going forward!

[Pitt Gorilla]

Good luck on transformers 5!

[unlurking]

Awesome! Always good to hear success stories. Please do let us know what it is when it comes out so we can support it.

[Deberg_1990]

Originally Posted by saphojunkie

I don't talk about it alot, but I'm a screenwriter in LA. Normally, that means doing the "couch and water tour" where you meet a bunch of development executives. These execs typically view meetings as a mixture between employment justification and scratch-off lotto tickets - if something hits, great! If not... well, at least they can explain to the head of production what they did with their day.

But this week... this week is good.

Long story short (which is the real trick to screenwriting), a friend and I co-wrote a script together. Due to the nature of this script, it is a big-budget, studio movie. Now, there's only a few places we can go to for that kind of material. One of the places we went is a MONSTROUSLY successful producer of hit movies, one of which is clobbering the box office this summer. Needless to say... we were slightly intimidated.

But he'd read the script and loved it. His big problem - it wasn't PG-13, and it needs to be PG-13. We'd written it for 35 year old guys, cuz that's what we are. But it needed to appeal to 14 year old girls, because assholes like you and me don't drive the cineplex.

So, we went back to making changes to our perfect, wonderful, precious, immaculate script.

Now, my favorite part of screenwriting, and the more astute of you will recognize my sarcasm, is when people ask you to make "minor changes." Everybody says this shit. "Nothing too major." "Just a couple tweaks."

Do you know what's minor? Actually minor? Taking out the F word. Changing "BETTY" to "JENNY" (because they're the same number of letters, so it won't screw with your line breaks).

The "minor" notes producers and studios want? Let me explain...

Imagine looking at an orange tree. it's perfect. Thick trunk, strong branches, healthy leaves, good fruit. We love it! the tree is great! We just have one SMALL, MINOR, TWEAK. Instead of oranges, how about figs? i mean, we're only changing 10% of the tree, right?

No, mother****er. I gotta go back, dig it up at the roots, replant, cultivate, grow, wait, and work.

Well, that's what the PG-13 notes were. Change the whole god damn thing.

But you know what? i did it.

My partner is busy with a TV show he's doing, so I took on the brunt of things. And I can't tell him "Hey bud! While you did nothing, I completely fixed our whole blockbuster script!" because A) he's a good friend; B) I'm not a dick, and C) He never lorded it over me when he cracked some major plot issue. That's just bad partnership to do that shit.

But I'm excited, because a seemingly insurmountable task was made mortal tonight. And I'm pouring myself a whiskey and hopefully my wife bums a cigarette off someone at the bar to bring home to me, because I earned it.

There aren't a lot of days when being a screenwriter is particularly rewarding (emotionally), so you have to love the actual work. No one will celebrate the writer, so the writer needs to celebrate the writing. That sounds trite as ****, but I don't care, because I already did my "good writing" for the night. I get to be a hack the rest of the week.

Anyway... here's to those good nights when you're proud of what you did.

Cheers.

Congrats man! that's great!

Sucks that they changed your script..........but understand, its a business and you have to eat.

So your not at liberty to say who the producer is or what your script is about?

[saphojunkie]

Originally Posted by Deberg_1990

Congrats man! that's great!

Sucks that they changed your script..........but understand, its a business and you have to eat.

So your not at liberty to say who the producer is or what your script is about?

Not contractually prohibited, but I worry about tempting fate. I would feel better about holding off until ink is dry.

When I first moved here, an actor told me, "I used to celebrate when I got the job. Pretty soon, I learned to wait until the contract was signed. Then, I learned to celebrate when I actually DID the job. Then I learned to wait until they paid me. Then I waited until the check cleared."

By that rational, you'll never celebrate. But I promise, when/if this thing actually gets made, I will be sure to tell you.

[digger]

Originally Posted by unlurking

Awesome! Always good to hear success stories. Please do let us know what it is when it comes out so we can support it.

This. Pimp it out.

[underEJ]

Originally Posted by unlurking

Awesome! Always good to hear success stories. Please do let us know what it is when it comes out so we can support it.

Absolutely! Congrats indeed and give details when appropriate. Hard work paying off is always good to hear about. Here's to many more successes!

[Rausch]

Originally Posted by saphojunkie

I don't talk about it alot, but I'm a screenwriter in LA. Normally, that means doing the "couch and water tour" where you meet a bunch of development executives. These execs typically view meetings as a mixture between employment justification and scratch-off lotto tickets - if something hits, great! If not... well, at least they can explain to the head of production what they did with their day.

But this week... this week is good.

Long story short (which is the real trick to screenwriting), a friend and I co-wrote a script together. Due to the nature of this script, it is a big-budget, studio movie. Now, there's only a few places we can go to for that kind of material. One of the places we went is a MONSTROUSLY successful producer of hit movies, one of which is clobbering the box office this summer. Needless to say... we were slightly intimidated.

But he'd read the script and loved it. His big problem - it wasn't PG-13, and it needs to be PG-13. We'd written it for 35 year old guys, cuz that's what we are. But it needed to appeal to 14 year old girls, because assholes like you and me don't drive the cineplex.

So, we went back to making changes to our perfect, wonderful, precious, immaculate script.

Now, my favorite part of screenwriting, and the more astute of you will recognize my sarcasm, is when people ask you to make "minor changes." Everybody says this shit. "Nothing too major." "Just a couple tweaks."

Do you know what's minor? Actually minor? Taking out the F word. Changing "BETTY" to "JENNY" (because they're the same number of letters, so it won't screw with your line breaks).

The "minor" notes producers and studios want? Let me explain...

Imagine looking at an orange tree. it's perfect. Thick trunk, strong branches, healthy leaves, good fruit. We love it! the tree is great! We just have one SMALL, MINOR, TWEAK. Instead of oranges, how about figs? i mean, we're only changing 10% of the tree, right?

No, mother****er. I gotta go back, dig it up at the roots, replant, cultivate, grow, wait, and work.

Well, that's what the PG-13 notes were. Change the whole god damn thing.

But you know what? i did it.

My partner is busy with a TV show he's doing, so I took on the brunt of things. And I can't tell him "Hey bud! While you did nothing, I completely fixed our whole blockbuster script!" because A) he's a good friend; B) I'm not a dick, and C) He never lorded it over me when he cracked some major plot issue. That's just bad partnership to do that shit.

But I'm excited, because a seemingly insurmountable task was made mortal tonight. And I'm pouring myself a whiskey and hopefully my wife bums a cigarette off someone at the bar to bring home to me, because I earned it.

There aren't a lot of days when being a screenwriter is particularly rewarding (emotionally), so you have to love the actual work. No one will celebrate the writer, so the writer needs to celebrate the writing. That sounds trite as ****, but I don't care, because I already did my "good writing" for the night. I get to be a hack the rest of the week.

Anyway... here's to those good nights when you're proud of what you did.

Cheers.

If you end up making the next Twilight series the Planet will hunt you down and kill you in the street...