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View Poll Results: Based on the available data, has my wife been replaced by an alien?
Yes, she has definitely been replaced. You have incontrovertible evidence. 20 46.51%
Maybe. Try applying some sort of high voltage to her as a test. 12 27.91%
No, she has not been replaced. Aliens wouldn't miss this type of clue. 6 13.95%
You need to track the data over a longer period of time before posting a thread like this. 5 11.63%
Voters: 43. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-03-2019, 04:49 PM  
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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I'm a little worried that my wife has been replaced by an alien.
I've been married for 20+ years, and when my wife sneezes, she always sneezes three times. Always. Every single time. Whenever I would be talking and she'd start to sneeze, I would just wait until the third sneeze because she always sneezed in three-sneeze patterns.

That has been the case for over two decades.

However, about a month ago, she sneezed, and the third sneeze never came. She only sneezed twice. I was stunned. In the past month, it's happened a couple more times. She is now sneezing in a two-sneeze pattern. All other behaviors are consistent with past patterns.

If aliens were to replace a person, this is exactly the type of small missed detail that would give away the ruse. It's a behavior that occurs at random intervals, and infrequently enough that they likely wouldn't have the observational data to build it into their android. If anything, they would default to a commonly observed human behavior, which is a two-sneeze pattern.

Should I be concerned?
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Old 07-03-2019, 04:51 PM   #2
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I think she's just getting better at sneezing
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Old 07-03-2019, 04:52 PM   #3
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Old 07-03-2019, 04:54 PM   #4
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It's a result of watching Mahomes. She used to check down into three little sneezes like Alex, but now she takes two bigger ones and the third one isn't needed.
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Old 07-03-2019, 05:05 PM   #5
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Aliens never sneeze, They have a high pitched screech in a morse code pattern.
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Old 07-03-2019, 05:05 PM   #6
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Old 07-03-2019, 05:09 PM   #7
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My ex always sneezed 3 times. Always.

Turned out she was just a ****.
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Old 07-03-2019, 05:11 PM   #8
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It's finally time to breakout the alien anal probe bitchez!
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Old 07-03-2019, 05:14 PM   #9
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I also dated a three sneezer.
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Old 07-03-2019, 05:22 PM   #10
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Old 07-03-2019, 05:31 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eDave View Post
My ex always sneezed 3 times. Always.

Turned out she was just a ****.
THEY'RE ALL LIKE THAT!!

...sneezing in multiples, not being a ****
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Old 07-03-2019, 05:45 PM   #12
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Apparently you believe in aliens?
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Old 07-03-2019, 05:46 PM   #13
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Old 07-03-2019, 05:53 PM   #14
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imagine Illegal Alien still being an insult in 2179 AD
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Old 07-03-2019, 05:53 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
I've been married for 20+ years, and when my wife sneezes, she always sneezes three times. Always. Every single time. Whenever I would be talking and she'd start to sneeze, I would just wait until the third sneeze because she always sneezed in three-sneeze patterns.

That has been the case for over two decades.

However, about a month ago, she sneezed, and the third sneeze never came. She only sneezed twice. I was stunned. In the past month, it's happened a couple more times. She is now sneezing in a two-sneeze pattern. All other behaviors are consistent with past patterns.

If aliens were to replace a person, this is exactly the type of small missed detail that would give away the ruse. It's a behavior that occurs at random intervals, and infrequently enough that they likely wouldn't have the observational data to build it into their android. If anything, they would default to a commonly observed human behavior, which is a two-sneeze pattern.

Should I be concerned?

You need ice picks and full dosages of SSRIs to handle this.
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