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Old 09-17-2014, 07:50 PM   Topic Starter
Direckshun Direckshun is online now
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Here's what I don't get.


IT'S A ****ing DOLPHIN WEARING A ****ing HELMET.

Has there ever been a greater misfire in sports? These teams make billions of dollars, right? And they can therefore hire PR agencies or ASK ABSOLUTELY ANYBODY that this mascot was (a.) designed by somebody's nephew, and (b.) appeals directly to Miami's nascent furry community.

That's right. This anthropomorphic dolphin is a furry.

Don't believe me?



LOOK AT THIS SHIT

GET PAST THE FACT THAT THE DOLPHIN IS WEARING A HELMET THAT DOESN'T FIT ITS HEAD

GET PAST THE FACT THAT THE DOLPHIN IS SMILING, WEARING A HELMET WITH A DOLPHIN ON IT THAT'S NOT SMILING, WEARING A HELMET THAT DOESN'T HAVE A DOLPHIN ON IT AT ALL

THE GUY IN THIS THING ****S PEOPLE IN IT.

I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT.

WHY has Goodell not been fired over this?

As if the NFL hasn't had enough to deal with, what with the willful ignorance towards concussions, players killing themselves and other people and beating children. Now they are actively encouraging molestation in animal uniforms.

Have you ever heard of pup play? It's when grown men act like puppies and another man acts like their "sir." He trains them, feeds them, and ****s them.

YOU KNOW, NORMAL SHIT PEOPLE DO WITH THEIR DOGS.

Well that's this guy. I am not even kidding. That's what this guy does. He puts on this furry uniform and gets into a hotel hot tub with several other guys who make that Flipper sound so he can be the alpha and **** them into submission.

The Miami Furries.

We all know what's going on.
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Old 09-17-2014, 07:52 PM   #2
Discuss Thrower Discuss Thrower is online now
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Because Chiefs fans are in a position to criticize anything about another NFL franchise.
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Old 09-17-2014, 08:17 PM   #3
Direckshun Direckshun is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower View Post
Because Chiefs fans are in a position to criticize anything about another NFL franchise.
Unlike Discuss Thrower, I care about the children.
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Old 09-17-2014, 08:24 PM   #4
Discuss Thrower Discuss Thrower is online now
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Unlike Discuss Thrower, I care about the children.
So did Jimmy Saville. We saw how that worked out.
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Old 09-18-2014, 01:37 AM   #5
rabblerouser rabblerouser is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower View Post
Because Chiefs fans are in a position to criticize anything about another NFL franchise.
Chiefs fans are just jaded and turned off enough to criticize every NFL franchise...and the entirety of the NFL...
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Old 09-19-2014, 07:14 PM   #6
beach tribe beach tribe is offline
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Originally Posted by rabblerouser View Post
Chiefs fans are just jaded and turned off enough to criticize every NFL franchise...and the entirety of the NFL...
It's was ****ing joke.

Some fans are just so jaded and turned off that they can't even enjoy a a joke about another franchise without taking a shot at their own.
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Old 09-19-2014, 08:38 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beach tribe View Post
It's was ****ing joke.

Some fans are just so jaded and turned off that they can't even enjoy a a joke about another franchise without taking a shot at their own.
You are talking about an out-of-date logo, so the joke was pretty weak.
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Old 09-17-2014, 07:54 PM   #8
LoneWolf LoneWolf is offline
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I thought the OP was going to be one word: "pussy".
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Old 09-17-2014, 07:55 PM   #9
Ming the Merciless Ming the Merciless is offline
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Is it because dolphins are very smart and agile?

I truly do not know
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Old 09-17-2014, 07:55 PM   #10
TribalElder TribalElder is offline
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Be extremely careful....

This particular strain of AIDS is extremely potent....

This particular strain of AIDS has actually become AIRBORNE!

RUN FOR YOUR ****ING LIVES PEOPLE ITS IN THE AIR

TEH AIDS TEH AIDS
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Old 09-17-2014, 08:02 PM   #11
cosmo20002 cosmo20002 is offline
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That Dolphin's helmet doesn't even have a facemask. That's gotta be a fine.

I'll give him a pass on some of the other missing equipment because I don't think, for example, that a dolphin technically has shoulders and stuff.
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Old 09-17-2014, 07:59 PM   #12
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Old 09-17-2014, 08:01 PM   #13
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I thought someone would have pointed that it was a dolphin wearing a helmet, . . . ON A HELMET by this point.
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Old 09-17-2014, 08:03 PM   #14
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Old 09-17-2014, 08:07 PM   #15
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http://www.businessinsider.com/dolph...ngerous-2013-5

A couple from North Carolina traveled to Hawaii last month to pursue their dream of having a "dolphin-assisted birth" for their baby due in July, the Charlotte Observer reports.

The couple is hoping to bond with animals in the wild, spending time in the water with them before and after the birth. If the new parents are "lucky" they may even even be able to have the baby in the water, The Sirius Institute, the organization helping with the odd birth plan, says on their website.

"It is about reconnecting as humans with the dolphins so we can coexist in this world together and learn from one another," the mom-to-be told the Observer. It brings "peace, comfort and strength to the mother and baby during labor," she added.

This is a very bad idea.

Although dolphins can be incredibly intelligent and are often affectionate toward and form bonds with humans (they have been know to give gifts to people in Australia, team up with Brazilian fishermen, and blow fun bubble rings, for example), the animals can be incredibly dangerous, too.

They try to rape and drown people; they gang rape their females and sometimes hold them hostage for weeks; they murder baby porpoises for fun; they kill the babies of rival male dolphins, because as soon as her child dies, a female dolphin is ready to be raped and impregnated immediately.

Unless the dolphins are raised in captivity and specifically taught how to interact safely with humans, they are still wild animals that can weigh up to 600 pounds.

"My professional opinion: this has to be, hands down, one of the worst natural birthing ideas anyone has ever had (and that is saying a lot)," marine biologist and Discover blogger Christie Wilcox writes. "DEAR GOD. NO. JUST. NO."

WARNING, GRAPHIC CONTENT: To prove our point, here's a video of a dolphin attacking a female swimmer, if you have the stomach for it.
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