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06-04-2015, 08:21 PM | Topic Starter |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
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I need a good explanation for an upcoming scar.
This morning I had to shave, and since I follow the Mr. Clean look, I was shaving both my manly beard and my manly head.
I've done it a thousand times and only rarely nick myself. I don't know what happened this morning, but something went badly askew. The razor went rogue and I literally had to pull its twin blades of terror out of my head. It was like removing an axe or an arrow or something, right at the intersection of my somatosensory cortex and my parietal lobe. It went in so deep that I bet it impacted my ability to do math or use a fork or something. It was a twin-blade razor, so I've got a pair of parallel cuts that are about 3/4ths of an inch long and maybe a quarter-inch apart. If I end up with a scar there for the rest of my life, it won't be impressive to tell people it was a shaving accident. So keeping in mind the size and shape of the impending scar and its location, what's a good cover story? |
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06-04-2015, 08:24 PM | #2 |
Baba Ganoush
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You got jumped by 4 bullies that picked on a handicap girl in a wheelchair.
Blowjobs for days
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06-04-2015, 08:25 PM | #3 |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
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How do I explain the shape of the scar? Did they perhaps run over my head when they stole her wheelchair?
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I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit. |
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06-04-2015, 08:24 PM | #4 | |
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Right or Left Parietal lobe makes a difference. Which one? I pray it wasn't your angular gyrus region or you might have to see me!!!! Quote:
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06-04-2015, 08:28 PM | #5 | |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
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Quote:
It's probably pretty spot on with the Postcentral Sulcus on the left side. And if you have the "right-left confusion", I wonder if you go away thinking that the brain surgery was done on the wrong side.
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I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit. |
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06-04-2015, 08:33 PM | #6 | |
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Quote:
I've seen a craniotomy in that area more than once and those people are usually so confused, that it's be a miracle if something like that could even come up in their cognition. But I'd just say "cripple fight" if anyone asks you. Then just walk away before they respond. |
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06-04-2015, 08:25 PM | #7 |
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Falcon landed on your head?
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06-04-2015, 09:09 PM | #8 |
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I vote this. Or maybe an Eagle? Murica as fuk
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06-04-2015, 08:28 PM | #9 |
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Swordfight. It's always sword fight.
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06-04-2015, 08:29 PM | #10 |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
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These are both good. The falcon would have to hit me on the fly to make two linear scars, but I could make that work.
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06-04-2015, 08:31 PM | #11 |
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06-04-2015, 08:39 PM | #12 |
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You were jumped from behind by a ninja wielding a sai in each hand. Your cat-like reflexes enabled you to leap from danger at the last moment, suffering two minor grazing wounds. You quickly dispatched the ninja with your bare hands and then chopped up his body with his own weapons, disposing of the remains in a nearby pig farm. You were tempted to keep the weapons as souvenirs but eliminated them to help hide the trail of evidence.
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06-04-2015, 08:40 PM | #13 |
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Well the sorry bastard swung a piece of angle iron at me. He doesn't have to the ability to do that again after the lesson I gave him.
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06-04-2015, 08:41 PM | #14 |
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that guy who got bit by a shark seemed to have that kind of cut,
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06-04-2015, 08:41 PM | #15 |
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Alien abduction...The scars are where the brain probes were installed. The aliens were so impressed with your intellect that they let you go to be an ambassador to the Earths people.....
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