Your affluence vs. your extended family's affluence.

[Rain Man]

The Philip Buchanon thread got me wondering.

What's the income/wealth situation between you and your various family members - parents, in-laws, siblings, etc. Do you share information about finances? Know anything about their finances? Are there notable differences in income or wealth? Does it cause any issues?

My family is really good about everyone minding their own business and being self-supporting. I know a bit about others' finances because I'm the one who is often asked questions about finances, taxes, etc. and I usually come away from those discussions worried.

I think my family thinks I'm affluent, and I'm pretty sure I'm at the top end of the clan in that regard (at least on my side of the family), but I don't share my financial details at all. They all live in low cost of living places and don't quite get life in a big city and things like house prices and the fact that I don't have a pension coming and stuff. The only issue it's caused is that I've been groused at a few times for spending money on travel. But I always make a successful rebuttal that I'm the only one who decided not to have kids, which saves a ton of money. I'm sure everyone is equally annoyed by the time those conversations end, but it doesn't change anything.

I've only been asked for money a couple of times, and I gave it. I pretty much got paid back 20 years later, so I'm good. We also got a small loan from my in-laws for a down payment on our first condo, but paid it back with significant interest within a year. We just needed to come up with some cash fast to buy a particular place that was a steal. I don't remember if my wife asked or if they offered, but it bothered me greatly until we paid it back. We'd only been married a couple of years when it happened, so I didn't want to refuse it.

I do have one distant branch that I would never tell about my finances, because they'll show up on my doorstep, fake a fall, and try to sue me. But they're not an issue because I have little contact with them.

What's your family like?

[ThaVirus]

Every member of my nuclear family is broke as shit. My mom and sister owe me so much money I had to cut them off a few years ago and I've loaned my dad $1500+ over the past year alone.

For the most part, the rest of my family, on both sides, falls within the range of the middle class. I do have one aunt that I would consider pretty wealthy.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

Every member of my nuclear family is broke as shit. My mom and sister owe me so much money I had to cut them off a few years ago and I've loaned my dad $1500+ over the past year alone.

For the most part, the rest of my family, on both sides, falls within the range of the middle class. I do have one aunt that I would consider pretty wealthy.

That's got to be a tough situation. I was facing the prospect of a similar cut-off situation at one point, but the family member seemed to recover and hasn't asked in many years. But it would have been awkward if it had come up again.

[Donger]

My immediate side of the family are all doing well. One of my brothers is some kind of media/advertising/creative person and most here would recognize his work, so I'm sure that he's got a lot of cash. My other brothers and I are all in the same kind of field and are all successful. But, we are all pretty grounded, probably because of our origins. We don't really discuss net worth and such when we are together and have never needed to ask for money from each other. My relatives in England are all "working class" and not at all affluent. They give us crap about being "rich Americans" all the time, which I find rather sad.

My wife's family is different. She has one sibling that is very successful and a few that just scrape by.

[Al Bundy]

I am right square in the middle. My grandmother and mom have some money, I have some money, my older sister has some money, but my uncle is broke as shit.

[milkman]

I consider you all extended family.

Can I borrow some money?

[BigRedChief]

Almost every member of my family from both sides of my family are poor. I grew up poor.

[Donger]

Originally Posted by milkman

I consider you all extended family.

Can I borrow some money?

Yes, but it would probably serve you better if you just spent it.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by milkman

I consider you all extended family.

Can I borrow some money?

ThaVirus seems like an easy mark, at least for the first couple of times.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by BigRedChief

Almost every member of my family from both sides of my family are poor. I grew up poor.

So does it cause problems now when they visit you and see you lounging at your tropical pool? Or are they cool with it?

[milkman]

Originally Posted by Donger

Yes, but it would probably serve you better if you just spent it.

Did you think I said "burrow"?

[Dante84]

My immediate family does fairly well. My brothers both have families they can care and provide for. One is an attorney, another is an insurance sales director.

I had a rough start out of school, graduating with a BA in communications in 2008 - worst year ever. Bartending, Waiting tables, and being an intern, then commission-only online ad sales for small businesses was tough. Parents let me live at home for 2.5 years because I was making nothing, and there was seemingly no way to get out from under. At the same time, dad was let go and was out of work for just under 2 years as well... they pretty much lost all they had saved for retirement, at the age of ~60. It was rough.

Dad ended up getting into a job for 2 years that was paying better than the one that let him go, and ended up providing excellent retirement benefits. Through some strategic work with the market, they are now set up to be comfortable, but not wealthy.

I finally said "**** it" and moved down to Austin for the software industry. I have been blessed to work with 2 great companies, previous and current, and should I snag a promotion in the next 6 months, I would be on par with my bro's, but at a younger age and no house/family to spend it on.

Mom's side of the family has stayed in the lower-middle class, but they get by. Father's side has had a pretty low economic status due to various health issues and life choices.

[ThaVirus]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

ThaVirus seems like an easy mark, at least for the first couple of times.

Hehh.

Unfortunately, that's not far off the mark. In addition to funding my family's irresponsibility and shitty life decisions, I've also loaned money to friend in the past.

Thankfully they all paid me back.

[BigRedChief]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

So does it cause problems now when they visit you and see you lounging at your tropical pool? Or are they cool with it?

Not really. I've always been the outsider in the family. I'm a totally different person than most in the family. Most never could understand why I just couldn't accept my life of being poor and redneck.

[MahiMike]

Families should talk more openly about money. They don't teach it in school. For some reason, it's as hush-hush as politics and sex.