KFC introduces disgusting new sandwich

[Hammock Parties]

Shocker: it's relatively healthy.



http://consumerist.com/2010/04/kfcs-...-april-12.html

Last August, we wrote about the "Double Down," a mysteriously tempting (and potentialy lethal) new food item being tested by KFC. For those coming late to the story, it's bacon and cheese sandwiched between two pieces of fried chicken. And now, many months later, I'll finally be able to get my hands on one.


KFC announced the decision to go live with the Double Down yesterday, but we weren't sure they weren't playing a April Fools gag. But no, they truly are going nationwide with the delicacy on April 12.


The sandwich will be available in two forms. The Original Recipe sandwich will set you back about 540 calories, 32g of fat and 1380mg of sodium. The not-as-bad-for-you Grilled Double Down totals 460 calories, 23g of fat and 1430mg of sodium.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

The original recipe is the equivalent of a Big Mac.

[Silock]

23g of fat? Geezus ****.

[KcMizzou]

I fear that may be too much awesome for one sandwich.

Bacon? awesome.

Cheese? awesome.

Fried chicken? awesome.

All at once? Possibly too awesome for human consumption.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Originally Posted by Silock

23g of fat? Geezus ****.

I did more of a double take at the sodium. Depending on what you're eating for the rest of the day, that fat content can be manageable. But I don't see how one could avoid bloating up like Buddha after eating all that salt.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Originally Posted by KcMizzou

I fear that may be too much awesome for one sandwich.

"I was thinkin' the saaaame thiiing!!!"

[KCrockaholic]

It looks kind of good.... But I hate KFC. Forget it.

[boogblaster]

fresh fucked chicken .. right down Go Boy's alley ..

[shakesthecat]

It may be weeks or months before I order one, but that looks f'in delicious.

[KCrockaholic]

I'm thinkin maybe I'll make one myself at home that won't clog my arteries.

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by shakesthecat

It may be weeks or months before I order one, but that looks f'in delicious.

Think again.

The Experience: My first impression of the Double Down, curiously enough, was that it seemed strangely small. How wrong could I be? Though two chicken patties buttressing an unsightly aggregation of multiple cheeses, fried pig meat, and sauce looked surprisingly modest, even slight, I felt as if I had eaten an entire bucket of fried chicken after only a few bites.

My first bite was deceptive. “Hey, this isn’t so bad,” I thought as I sunk my teeth into the good Colonel’s succulent white-meat chicken, fortified with his trademark blend of special herbs and spices. I ****ing love KFC. I dig their chicken breasts, wedges, and mashed potatoes with gravy. Some of my favorite memories of my time in Madison revolve around an annual institution known as Chicken Bowl, a chicken-eating contest/Super Bowl party organized by A.V. Club founder and all-around great guy Stephen Thompson. We’d consume mass quantities of KFC chicken and mashed potatoes, drink beer, and watch the Super Bowl. It was all kinds of awesome.

The Double Down was like a one-man Chicken Bowl, minus the camaraderie, competition, good vibes, and football. Pretty much all that was left was overeating and the nauseous feeling that accompanies pushing yourself to consume more fried chicken than any one human being rightfully should.

Taste: Like grief, the Double Down is experienced in stages. First comes the deceptive sense of relief that the Double Down isn’t as terrible as it initially appears. As I devoured my first bite, I embarked on a Proustian reverie that ushered me back to all the happy moments I’ve shared at various KFCs. Have I mentioned that I ****ing love KFC’s white-meat chicken?

It wasn’t long before reality sunk in. The Double Down comes in a paper napkin holder designed to keep hands relatively grease-free. But it also has a secondary purpose; aesthetically, the Double Down is the ugliest thing in the world. I was surprised that the cheese wasn’t melted when I got my order. I soon found out why; partially congealed cheap-ass pepper-jack cheese looks disconcertingly like putrefied, runny mucus. Every time I looked down at the giant gob of grease, meat, and cheese in my hands, I felt sick.

My stomach began to feel like a brick. I wanted to quit after a few bites but I soldiered on, ignoring my increasingly intense stomach pain. The Double Down did to my gastrointestinal system what Sherman did to the South, leaving a scorched-earth trail of destruction in its wake. After the initial flavor burst of herbs and spices faded, I was left with a series of stomach-turning pairings, the most horrifying being really bad pepper-jack cheese—school-lunch cheap and school-lunch nasty—and odious bacon.

God clearly did not mean for humans to eat chicken, bacon, and low-quality, gelatinous cheese at the same time. I was suddenly struck with a strange urge to keep kosher. Each bite became a grueling endurance test, as the cheese and grease began to override the chicken breasts, and the sandwich grew more revolting-looking with each bite.

I began to feel sick. Merely looking at my beloved potato wedges made me queasy. Who could possibly devour two chicken breast patties, greasy bacon, and two slices of cheese, and still have room left over for fried potato wedges and a soda? For that matter, who would want to simultaneously eat two cheese-and-bacon-addled chicken-breast patties? What began as a pleasant surprise quickly devolved into a nightmare. I struggled to keep the sandwich down. I felt defeated, lost, overwhelmed. I like cheese, I like bacon, and I like chicken breasts, but the combination was too much of a greasy thing. I left that KFC a shattered man. I had finished the Double Down. Or had the Double Down finished me?

So consider me your fast-food Paul Revere, sending out a warning throughout the land: The Double Down is coming! The Double Down is coming! Be afraid, dear reader. Be very, very afraid.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

[BigMeatballDave]

So, when is McDs or Burger King coming out with a breadless all-meat sandwich?

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by Silock

23g of fat? Geezus ****.

That is not that much.

[shakesthecat]

Originally Posted by GoChiefs

Think again.

Meh.

I've enjoyed KCF about twice a year for 45 years.
I'm not about to be discouraged by some vegan poser 145lbs English major.