I'm a little worried that my wife has been replaced by an alien.

[Rain Man]

I've been married for 20+ years, and when my wife sneezes, she always sneezes three times. Always. Every single time. Whenever I would be talking and she'd start to sneeze, I would just wait until the third sneeze because she always sneezed in three-sneeze patterns.

That has been the case for over two decades.

However, about a month ago, she sneezed, and the third sneeze never came. She only sneezed twice. I was stunned. In the past month, it's happened a couple more times. She is now sneezing in a two-sneeze pattern. All other behaviors are consistent with past patterns.

If aliens were to replace a person, this is exactly the type of small missed detail that would give away the ruse. It's a behavior that occurs at random intervals, and infrequently enough that they likely wouldn't have the observational data to build it into their android. If anything, they would default to a commonly observed human behavior, which is a two-sneeze pattern.

Should I be concerned?

[Chargem]

You missed the most obvious possibility. There is some kind of hostage situation going on where the bad guys are listening and telling you outright would put you in danger so she is giving you this subtle clue that something is not right so you can figure it out and save the day/stop the nuclear explosion/kill the terrorists/save the president (delete as applicable)

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by oldman

Here's how you check. Sit in your favorite chair. Ask "wife" to bring you your favorite beverage. Hold it in 1 hand and the remote in your other. Ask "wife" to service you. If she says yes, then you have an alien. Aliens are known people pleasers. If she slaps the snot out of you, then she is the real wife. Glad I could help.

Originally Posted by Chargem

You missed the most obvious possibility. There is some kind of hostage situation going on where the bad guys are listening and telling you outright would put you in danger so she is giving you this subtle clue that something is not right so you can figure it out and save the day/stop the nuclear explosion/kill the terrorists/save the president (delete as applicable)

Originally Posted by Baby Lee

I fear it may be worse than we thought. As one working in data analysis, I regret to suggest Rain Man has lost the capacity to tabulate integers.

I'm going to test these five theories.

[Sweet Daddy Hate]

All you can do at this point is hope that it was the Ebens and not the HAV's.

The good news is that traditional weaponry can kill the clones.

[Holladay]

Strange.

When I sneeze it is also 3 times.

I am also a bright light sneezer. I come out of a dark place, ie a movie theater...I sneeze 3 times. If I feel a tickle in my nose, I look at a bright light, then I sneeze, 3 times.

I was in a biology class in college and the topic came up as to "bright light" sneezers. It turns out it is genetic. 1/3 of the population is a bright light sneezer.

So back towards your original question: why go from 3 now to 2 sneezes?

Quite peculiar.

I don't have a good answer. Is she a bright light sneezer?

My best guess is that she is blowing you more. I think the gag reflex is also involved for bright light sneezers.

[ChiliConCarnage]

I think I saw this in a movie once. Watch your cornhole, Rainman. They have tentacles

[Rausch]

Grab an axe - it's a trick...

[Chargem]

I just learned today of a genuine medical condition that causes men to sneeze when they get an erection.

It's not entirely relevant in this case, I think...

[Rain Man]

I'm going to test for other ultra-minor sporadic details that aliens can't easily observe. For example, there's a Christmas cookie that she likes. I'll inquire about those cookies to see what she thinks. If she doesn't want them, then I may have an alien on my hands.

[T-post Tom]