Other Sports Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 15 - Pablo versus Pestilence - Page 3

**Rain Man** · 07-07-2018, 08:41 PM

Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is.

Venue - In a strip club (normal crowd present)
Starting Distance - 68 feet

Pablo

Main Weapon - Baseball Bat with six nails studded into it
Backup Weapon - Bowie knife

Prep Time - 13 Minutes
Special Factors - An angry trained pit bull is on a leash that is welded to your non-weapon wrist

Pestilence

Main Weapon - Two Handed Sword
Backup Weapon - Bullwhip

Prep Time - 11 Minutes
Special Factors - An unreachable 8 year-old kid 50 feet away will shoot you with a BB gun every 60 seconds, starting at t=0.

ModSocks · 07-09-2018, 09:29 AM

It's Pestilence. You guys aren't thinking this clearly.

I've looked into my crystal ball and this is how it goes down:

Pest is chillin', getting a lap dance when Pablo knocks the door down. Pablo stands there, all you can see is his silhouette as the fog machine rolls a thick blanket through the club.

Pest pushes the bimbos away, gets up and grabs his 2h Sword. Then immediately gets shot in the back of the head with a BB gun, which only angers him. Pest charges at Pablo, but then quickly stops as the dog emerges from the fog, barking and gnashing teeth. Pest and Pablo stand deadlocked with a dog between them. That's when Pablo makes his move!

Pablo swings the bat with his one arm but is un able to create any torque, as it requires two arms to swing the bat effectively. This wild, loose swing compromises his balance. The dog lunges at Pest, dragging Pablo to the ground.

Pest grabs a stripper and chucks it at the dog, leaps over their collided bodies and impales Pablo, who' still on the ground, with his claymore.

As Pest walks back to to the table with the ho's, he gets shot in the ass....the fight is over, but since when do little kids listen?

**The Franchise** · 07-09-2018, 09:44 AM

Some people are just beyond ****ing stupid. Go chain an angry pit bull to your wrist and then try and swing a bat with any power or accuracy.

Pasta Little Brioni · 07-09-2018, 09:47 AM

Isn't Pablo sort of a midget too? He's not controlling that damn dog. The dog tying up an arm is a disadvantage.

ModSocks · 07-09-2018, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pestilence

Some people are just beyond ****ing stupid. Go chain an angry pit bull to your wrist and then try and swing a bat with any power or accuracy.

Seriously. I remember trying to walk my buddy's full blood American Pitt.....it was a big, muscular machine. Fantastic dog. Happy as could be.

But...uh...he was walking ME more so than i was walking him.

**The Franchise** · 07-09-2018, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detoxing

Seriously. I remember trying to walk my buddy's full blood American Pitt.....it was a big, muscular machine. Fantastic dog. Happy as could be.

But...uh...he was walking ME more so than i was walking him.

I have a 2 year old pitbull that weighs 80 lbs. That ****er pulls me on walks and I'm 250 lbs. And there is no way that I would be able to fight anyone if he was determined to **** someone up.

Sofa King · 07-09-2018, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pestilence

Some people are just beyond ****ing stupid. Go chain an angry pit bull to your wrist and then try and swing a bat with any power or accuracy.

Truth

Sofa King · 07-09-2018, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pestilence

I have a 2 year old pitbull that weighs 80 lbs. That ****er pulls me on walks and I'm 250 lbs. And there is no way that I would be able to fight anyone if he was determined to **** someone up.

Jesus. 250 lbs now? Being a father of 8 sure hasn’t been kind.

**The Franchise** · 07-09-2018, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sofa King

Jesus. 250 lbs now? Being a father of 8 sure hasn’t been kind.

I've always been fat and it's 3 kids, dick. You're thinking of Plow.

DJ's left nut · 07-09-2018, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pestilence

Some people are just beyond ****ing stupid. Go chain an angry pit bull to your wrist and then try and swing a bat with any power or accuracy.

'Leash' /= chain.

Pablo has a bowie knife and Rainman has already said that the dog will obey Pablo.

So he just uses the knife to cut the damn leash (it may be tight to his wrist, but that doesn't mean he can't cut it somewhere; later in the leash, collar - whatever), tells the dog to eat you and then should you manage to catch the dog in flight with a broadsword, he just gets you in your moment of distracting with his nailclub.

And even if he some titanium leash or something - angry doesn't mean unruly. The prompt says it's a trained and obedient dog. An angry Belgian Malinois on a leash is a sight to behold but when they're trained, they're pretty much a ball of barely restrained hate. So look at the pit as though it's a well trained police k-9 sort of dog. That 'barely restrained' is gonna be enough for him to keep things on track and when he's within killing range, he'll give the dog the go command and you be ****ed.

Sofa King · 07-09-2018, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pestilence

I've always been fat and it's 3 kids, dick. You're thinking of Plow.

How come your hands are so dainty then? It doesn’t make sense.

**Rain Man** · 07-09-2018, 10:12 AM

It was a close match, but at the end the strippers sidle up to Pablo and ask him if he'd like a dance. Pablo moves on to the second round while Pestilence is tossed out into the dumpster of a nearby Taco Tico.

Sofa King · 07-09-2018, 12:43 PM

I humbly request that the dumpster also be lit on fire. I feel like Pestilence would like to go out in a little more glory. Maybe keep some hobo’s warm for the night.

**The Franchise** · 07-09-2018, 12:46 PM

You all have chosen to kill a part of Fisty. Way to go you ****s.

ModSocks · 07-09-2018, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sofa King

I humbly request that the dumpster also be lit on fire. I feel like Pestilence would like to go out in a little more glory. Maybe keep some hobo’s warm for the night.

We could light the dumpster on fire and then roll the dumpster down the street. In honor of Pest. It would be epic.

**Rain Man** · 07-09-2018, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detoxing

We could light the dumpster on fire and then roll the dumpster down the street. In honor of Pest. It would be epic.

It would be an urban Viking burial. People should do this in real life.

View Poll Results: Who wins?
Pablo	32	58.18%
Pestilence	23	41.82%
Voters: 55. You may not vote on this poll

07-07-2018, 08:41 PM
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3298491 VARSITY	Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 15 - Pablo versus Pestilence Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is. Venue - In a strip club (normal crowd present) Starting Distance - 68 feet Pablo Main Weapon - Baseball Bat with six nails studded into it Backup Weapon - Bowie knife Prep Time - 13 Minutes Special Factors - An angry trained pit bull is on a leash that is welded to your non-weapon wrist Pestilence Main Weapon - Two Handed Sword Backup Weapon - Bullwhip Prep Time - 11 Minutes Special Factors - An unreachable 8 year-old kid 50 feet away will shoot you with a BB gun every 60 seconds, starting at t=0.
Posts: 141,458

07-09-2018, 09:29 AM	#31
ModSocks Needs more middle fingers Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: San Diego Casino cash: $4274563	It's Pestilence. You guys aren't thinking this clearly. I've looked into my crystal ball and this is how it goes down: Pest is chillin', getting a lap dance when Pablo knocks the door down. Pablo stands there, all you can see is his silhouette as the fog machine rolls a thick blanket through the club. Pest pushes the bimbos away, gets up and grabs his 2h Sword. Then immediately gets shot in the back of the head with a BB gun, which only angers him. Pest charges at Pablo, but then quickly stops as the dog emerges from the fog, barking and gnashing teeth. Pest and Pablo stand deadlocked with a dog between them. That's when Pablo makes his move! Pablo swings the bat with his one arm but is un able to create any torque, as it requires two arms to swing the bat effectively. This wild, loose swing compromises his balance. The dog lunges at Pest, dragging Pablo to the ground. Pest grabs a stripper and chucks it at the dog, leaps over their collided bodies and impales Pablo, who' still on the ground, with his claymore. As Pest walks back to to the table with the ho's, he gets shot in the ass....the fight is over, but since when do little kids listen? __________________ Life is like a dick. Sometimes it gets hard for no reason, but it can't stay hard forever.
Posts: 64,345

07-09-2018, 09:44 AM	#32
The Franchise Most Valuable Villain Join Date: Dec 2006 Casino cash: $3085047	Some people are just beyond ****ing stupid. Go chain an angry pit bull to your wrist and then try and swing a bat with any power or accuracy.
Posts: 92,188

07-09-2018, 09:47 AM	#33
Pasta Little Brioni Consuming CP souls Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: U.S.A. Casino cash: $3958880	Isn't Pablo sort of a midget too? He's not controlling that damn dog. The dog tying up an arm is a disadvantage. __________________ **Official TFWdemB Trivia Commisioner**
Posts: 68,565

07-09-2018, 10:12 AM	#41
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3298491 VARSITY	It was a close match, but at the end the strippers sidle up to Pablo and ask him if he'd like a dance. Pablo moves on to the second round while Pestilence is tossed out into the dumpster of a nearby Taco Tico. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,458

07-09-2018, 12:43 PM	#42
Sofa King Hello Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: South Dakota Casino cash: $1052096 VARSITY	I humbly request that the dumpster also be lit on fire. I feel like Pestilence would like to go out in a little more glory. Maybe keep some hobo’s warm for the night.
Posts: 23,224

07-09-2018, 12:46 PM	#43
The Franchise Most Valuable Villain Join Date: Dec 2006 Casino cash: $3085047	You all have chosen to kill a part of Fisty. Way to go you ****s.
Posts: 92,188