Why I won’t date hot women anymore

[Hammock Parties]

This is priceless. Some of the tweets have been savage.

http://nypost.com/2017/04/12/why-hot...-worth-dating/

When it came to dating in New York as a 30-something executive in private equity, Dan Rochkind had no problem snagging the city’s most beautiful women.

“I could have [anyone] I wanted,” says Rochkind, now 40 and an Upper East Sider with a muscular build and a full head of hair. “I met some nice people, but realistically I went for the hottest girl you could find.”

He spent the better part of his 30s going on up to three dates a week, courting 20-something blond models, but eventually realized that dating the prettiest young things had its drawbacks — he found them flighty, selfish and vapid.

“Beautiful women who get a fair amount of attention get full of themselves,” he says. “Eventually, I was dreading getting dinner with them because they couldn’t carry a conversation.”

According to new research, Rochkind’s ideas about sexy bikini babes are correct. A multipart study from Harvard University, University of La Verne and Santa Clara University researchers found that beautiful people are more likely to be involved in unstable relationships. In one part, the researchers looked at the top 20 actresses on IMDb and found that they tend to have rocky marriages. In another, women were asked to judge the attractiveness of 238 men based on their high school yearbook photos from 30 years ago. The men who were judged to be the best-looking had higher rates of divorce.

Looking to avoid such a fate, Rochkind started dating a woman who isn’t a bikini model, Carly Spindel, in January 2015. The two are now happily engaged.

The two met after Spindel’s mother, matchmaker Janis Spindel, scouted Rochkind at a gym.

“I gave him my card and said I have the perfect girl for him,” recalls Janis, founder of Serious Matchmaking, based in Midtown. “Successful men who are in shape have the pickings when it comes to dating, [but] eventually they want a woman of substance.”

Rochkind found that in Carly, 30, a lovely brunette who’s the vice president of her mother’s matchmaking company and a Syracuse University graduate. Rochkind proposed to her last May in Central Park. He loves that Carly isn’t like the swimsuit models he used to go for.

“[She] is a softer beauty, someone you can take home and cuddle with, and she’s very elegant,” Rochkind says. “And she’s 5-foot-2, so she can’t be a runway model, but I think she’s really beautiful and is prettier than anyone I’ve dated.”

Carly has no qualms about how her future husband views her compared with his exes.

“When men get to a certain age, they realize that it’s important to meet a life partner that they connect with,” she says. “Looks fade.”

Some great-looking people say they’re given a bad rap unfairly.

“When men see beautiful women, they are more concentrated on how she looks because they want to ‘have’ her, and so they don’t want to go deeper and get to know her,” says Isabell Giardini, a 22-year-old Italian beauty signed with Major Models. “And that’s why at the end of a date they wonder, ‘Oh that girl is so beautiful but so empty.’ That’s happened to me often.”

Others say the stereotypes about pretty people being shallow are true, even if they’re hotties themselves.

“From my personal experience, people who are better looking are less likely to pursue advanced degrees, or play an instrument or learn other languages,” says Benedict Beckeld, a 37-year-old Brooklyn writer with a doctorate in philosophy and the body of an Adonis. But he’s quick to note that he’s not just a great set of abs — he also plays the violin and speaks seven languages.

Rochkind is equally enthusiastic about his decision to give up high-maintenance hotties.

“There’s something to be said about sowing your wild oats and getting them out of your system,” says Rochkind, who will marry Carly in June at a “Tuscan-romantic” ceremony at the Wölffer Estate Vineyard in the Hamptons. But he doesn’t regret his past.

“You don’t want to be the first to leave the party, but you don’t want to leave the party too late either,” he says. “Carly came at exactly the right time.”

And now....THE TWEETS

"Beautiful women get full of themselves" says this guy who is totally not full of himself. pic.twitter.com/485RKwNZH4

— MatzohNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) April 13, 2017

COMING SOON: "Why I Dumped my Skinny Fat Piece of Shit Fiancé," by this woman pic.twitter.com/6PrdLW3KE4

— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) April 13, 2017

@nypost "Balding guy with difficulty smiling for camera wanks himself to death after insurance company stops viagra script..."

— R👹DD👹V👹LBkLyN (@ReDDeViLNyC) April 13, 2017

@nypost Now he has to find women who will find his conversation bearable

— PhotoHand (@PhotoHand) April 13, 2017

[scho63]

Originally Posted by ASS11

He's more like Patrick Fatman.

American Tubbo.

Not for long, down 18 pounds since March 25th and by Dec 1st, I will be down a total of 100-105.

Getting back to my hot 'ol self!

I've already got a super dark tan. Look like I've been in Scottsdale for a year already.

[scho63]

Originally Posted by wazu

I'm not judging you at all, but you do realize you can't wash off herpes, correct?

Of course. I'm not paying for Paris Hilton and her Valtrex infested snatch.

You know what is really ironic? About 34% of college kids have STD's but I will knock on wood that I have had NOTHING from an escort but did catch the clap back in 1987 in Rio from a girl that stayed with me for 10 days and me and 4 other friends all got the crabs in high school from a local slut who did everyone. Not fun

[Graystoke]

[scho63]

Holy shit if this young woman didn't just prove my point about using escorts and make my case 100%, NO ONE EVER WILL!

I went on 100 dates in a single year — here are my 3 best pieces of advice on breaking the ice with a stranger

http://www.businessinsider.com/how-t...st-date-2017-4

Between 2011 and 2012, I went on 101 dates with 52 different men. It was all part of a social experiment that I'd devised while finishing my undergraduate degree at UC Berkeley.

At the time, I was a serial monogamist, and I was frustrated that I couldn't find the fairy-tale type love I'd seen in movies. So I decided to take a more "scientific" approach to romance.

The experiment involved going on a series of dates and documenting what made each one a success or a failure.

As the experiment progressed, dating got a lot easier. Specifically, I learned how to break the ice with acquaintances and total strangers, so that our first encounter wasn't awkward or stilted.

Today, I'm a dating coach, and I use the findings from my personal experiment to help my clients. Here are some of the tips I share with them when they ask about forging a connection on a first date.

1. Warm up your mouthpiece
Date #52 met me in my neighborhood. He drove 45 minutes to get there, which I thought was nice.

The problem? He barely spoke. It's hard to break the ice with someone who only gives you one-word answers.

I always tell my clients to warm up socially before a date. Go to a coffee shop and talk to the barista. Sign up for bootcamp at the gym. Heck, go to the grocery store and chat with the clerk if nothing else.

Whatever you do, get out of the house at least an hour or two before your date. It'll help calm your nerves and remind you that talking to new people isn't really all that scary.

Women working out
Take a date or a new acquaintance to a dance class. AP
2. Make the activity the ice-breaker
For date #53, I agreed to attend a Jiu-Jitsu class with a guy I'd met on OKCupid. Within the first five minutes of meeting, he had me mounted in a full straddle.

My blood was pumping, my endorphins were high, and we had full physical contact. All of that, and he didn't even have to buy me a drink!

The majority of my other dates had taken place in coffee shops and bars, but this one was different. We were laughing and having fun together right off the bat.

If you're comfortable choosing the venue for your first date, consider something where you'll be moving around and/or learning something new — like a dance class, for example.

You can even apply the same rule to meetings with professional contacts: Hold a walking meeting or go running together. It's a more natural way to bond than staring at each other over coffee cups.

3. Just be honest
Date #59 arrived late. We had an epically awkward hug, and then I stood in a funny position next to him while he ordered tea. But the worst part was that conversation fell flat because he was trying so hard to be sarcastic.

Don't try to be funny by saying things like, "Great outfit — did you go shopping in your mom's closet?" Instead, try asking a question like, "I've never seen a pair of shoes like those — where did you get them?"

As a general rule, I recommend avoiding the use of sarcasm on first dates (or first meetings with anyone) because it communicates insecurity and can make you seem mean. Remember: You don't have to be a stand-up comedian to impress the other person.

Emyli (EmLovz) is a San Francisco Dating Coach who offers worldwide one-on-one coaching solutions and online dating courses for men and women.

[loochy]

Originally Posted by scho63

Holy shit if this young woman didn't just prove my point about using escorts and make my case 100%, NO ONE EVER WILL!

I went on 100 dates in a single year — here are my 3 best pieces of advice on breaking the ice with a stranger

http://www.businessinsider.com/how-t...st-date-2017-4

Between 2011 and 2012, I went on 101 dates with 52 different men. It was all part of a social experiment that I'd devised while finishing my undergraduate degree at UC Berkeley.

At the time, I was a serial monogamist, and I was frustrated that I couldn't find the fairy-tale type love I'd seen in movies. So I decided to take a more "scientific" approach to romance.

The experiment involved going on a series of dates and documenting what made each one a success or a failure.

As the experiment progressed, dating got a lot easier. Specifically, I learned how to break the ice with acquaintances and total strangers, so that our first encounter wasn't awkward or stilted.

Today, I'm a dating coach, and I use the findings from my personal experiment to help my clients. Here are some of the tips I share with them when they ask about forging a connection on a first date.

1. Warm up your mouthpiece
Date #52 met me in my neighborhood. He drove 45 minutes to get there, which I thought was nice.

The problem? He barely spoke. It's hard to break the ice with someone who only gives you one-word answers.

I always tell my clients to warm up socially before a date. Go to a coffee shop and talk to the barista. Sign up for bootcamp at the gym. Heck, go to the grocery store and chat with the clerk if nothing else.

Whatever you do, get out of the house at least an hour or two before your date. It'll help calm your nerves and remind you that talking to new people isn't really all that scary.

Women working out
Take a date or a new acquaintance to a dance class. AP
2. Make the activity the ice-breaker
For date #53, I agreed to attend a Jiu-Jitsu class with a guy I'd met on OKCupid. Within the first five minutes of meeting, he had me mounted in a full straddle.

My blood was pumping, my endorphins were high, and we had full physical contact. All of that, and he didn't even have to buy me a drink!

The majority of my other dates had taken place in coffee shops and bars, but this one was different. We were laughing and having fun together right off the bat.

If you're comfortable choosing the venue for your first date, consider something where you'll be moving around and/or learning something new — like a dance class, for example.

You can even apply the same rule to meetings with professional contacts: Hold a walking meeting or go running together. It's a more natural way to bond than staring at each other over coffee cups.

3. Just be honest
Date #59 arrived late. We had an epically awkward hug, and then I stood in a funny position next to him while he ordered tea. But the worst part was that conversation fell flat because he was trying so hard to be sarcastic.

Don't try to be funny by saying things like, "Great outfit — did you go shopping in your mom's closet?" Instead, try asking a question like, "I've never seen a pair of shoes like those — where did you get them?"

As a general rule, I recommend avoiding the use of sarcasm on first dates (or first meetings with anyone) because it communicates insecurity and can make you seem mean. Remember: You don't have to be a stand-up comedian to impress the other person.

Emyli (EmLovz) is a San Francisco Dating Coach who offers worldwide one-on-one coaching solutions and online dating courses for men and women.

So her recommending that people not be freaking socially awkward weirdos proves your point?

[Bearcat]

We should all do things because something weird that someone else does completely rationalizes it.

[scho63]

Originally Posted by loochy

So her recommending that people not be freaking socially awkward weirdos proves your point?

Is that really the single focal point you took away from this article after the last 6-7 pages in this thread? JFC.......

Originally Posted by Bearcat

We should all do things because something weird that someone else does completely rationalizes it.

She is not an anomaly by any stretch.

[loochy]

Originally Posted by scho63

Is that really the single focal point you took away from this article after the last 6-7 pages in this thread? JFC.......

Yes...

... and this thread only has 3 pages.

[rabblerouser]

I'd totally bang that chick. Of course, 3/4 of CP would claim she's not hot enough

[loochy]

Originally Posted by rabblerouser

I'd totally bang that chick. Of course, 3/4 of CP would claim she's not hot enough

Yeah, but would you pay hundreds of dollars to take a shower with her?
Posted via Mobile Device

[Bowser]

Originally Posted by loochy

Yeah, but would you pay hundreds of dollars to take a shower with her?

[rabblerouser]

Originally Posted by loochy

Yeah, but would you pay hundreds of dollars to take a shower with her?
Posted via Mobile Device

No.