Life What can I do? - Page 7

Fansy the Famous Bard · 01-07-2016, 11:06 AM

I've got 4 children of my own ranging from high school to grade 2nd grade. I'm not wealthy.... but make enough money that i can provide for the family... when things are tight we are paycheck to paycheck. The wife is from a Southern state and grew up in poverty, now lives up here in the KC metro (We've been married for just short of 18 years).

Now the problem: Her brother is worthless. He's been a drug addict living off of others for the majority of his life. We even brought him up here at one point to try and clean him up. Eventually asking him to leave again cause he was abusing pain killers in our household. He went back to Alabama... he's been in and out of jail and rehabs... the kicker is he has 6 children... He's in Jail currently for robbery.. His ex-wife who has "custody" of the kids doesn't even really have the kids. They've been passed back and forth with my wife's family (aunts and uncles) for most of the last 2-3 years. They're currently staying with my Brother-in-Law's girlfriend because the Mother of the children is on the run from the state regarding the oldest being in Juvy and them wanting her to come get the kid and she's strung out on meth. They want her to take a drug test first, etc... anyway she's on the run, strung out, doesn't have her own kids... Can't care for them... The lady that IS caring for them currently can't, she has 4 kids of her own and is in poverty.

My wife just asked me if we could take the 3 youngest children into our house. Ranging from 5 years old to i believe 12. There's also a 14 year old that the lady caring for them wants to keep cause she'll get state benefits for him. These kids have not had a good life. I told my wife that I don't want to leave the oldest down there, we'll just take them all.

How I'm going to do it, I have no clue... Don't know what to do legally or how to go about any of this.. Just know that these children deserve a chance - And I feel a responsibility to help. Any advice? Has anyone had to deal with similar?

**SAUTO** · 02-04-2016, 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sully

Anything I can type will sound cliche and trite. But I really mean this...

God bless you, man. You are doing God's work in the world, and it's inspiring and I pray for you.

I think there are several here that feel this exact same way

**Buehler445** · 02-04-2016, 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO

I think there are several here that feel this exact same way

Seconded. I couldn't handle it. I really can't stand seeing kids suffer.

Fairplay · 02-04-2016, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sully

Anything I can type will sound cliche and trite. But I really mean this...

God bless you, man. You are doing God's work in the world, and it's inspiring and I pray for you.

My feelings as well Zeke. I'll find myself thinking about your situation at work or driving around. I'll say a little pray for you also, the lord has been nudging me I guess, the least I can do.

Pitt Gorilla · 02-04-2016, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zeke

The thing that bothers me the worst is Social Services had a case open for the past year and had recently closed it. They apparently have too many cases and just close the difficult ones if the offending parties simply hide until it goes away. It took us going down there and getting legal assistance to even get them to re-open the case and get something done. At first, DHR wouldn't even talk to us and we had to basically fight the system to get anything accomplished. Now that it has opened up in court and Judges are hearing what's going on, DHR is FINALLY following through and taking action.

You may have saved this child's life. Even if nothing else good comes from this, I'm glad you did it.

Nirvana58 · 02-04-2016, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zeke

The thing that bothers me the worst is Social Services had a case open for the past year and had recently closed it. They apparently have too many cases and just close the difficult ones if the offending parties simply hide until it goes away. It took us going down there and getting legal assistance to even get them to re-open the case and get something done. At first, DHR wouldn't even talk to us and we had to basically fight the system to get anything accomplished. Now that it has opened up in court and Judges are hearing what's going on, DHR is FINALLY following through and taking action.

There just isn't enough money for them to do there jobs properly. The rate that kids are coming into custody is mind boggling. Add in illegals and the system is just failing all over. The best thing you have going for you is that lawyers are involved. Be a pain in the ass of the system until they get tired of you. Kansas will probably drag their feet as long as possible because they don't want to have to transfer the kids to our state and make it their problem. It sounds horrible but your fastest route was if someone "took" the kids to Kansas and abandoned them here. I fear for those kids in states custody. A lot can happen in a years time.

Also I can't stress this enough. If everything works out and you do get the kids. Do not leave them unsupervised with your kids. Ever... Get them into therapy right away. Sexual abuse is rampant in the system. I can not tell you how many times I have seen family take in an innocent kid as little as 5 years old who ends up molesting their own children. It is not the kids fault they don't understand. But they are just doing what has been done to them. The road ahead will only get harder so make sure that you are really ready for route you are taking. Bless your heart for making the effort. You are a better man than me.

scho63 · 02-04-2016, 05:16 PM

Our government sucks so bad in this country that 6 children are living in complete squalor and horrific conditions and you and your wife, who are related to the children, are trying to help these kids out substantially, get them off the dole, improve their lives tremendously, and clear the courts of another horrible child services mess.

Now here you are fighting the mess that is the bureaucracy.

You are a noble person who deserves sainthood and the people who are standing in your way, no matter their rhyme or reason, are complete scum! Common sense takes a back seat.

I hope you succeed!

01-07-2016, 11:06 AM
Fansy the Famous Bard I'm with the Banned Join Date: Feb 2009 Casino cash: $2336440	What can I do? I've got 4 children of my own ranging from high school to grade 2nd grade. I'm not wealthy.... but make enough money that i can provide for the family... when things are tight we are paycheck to paycheck. The wife is from a Southern state and grew up in poverty, now lives up here in the KC metro (We've been married for just short of 18 years). Now the problem: Her brother is worthless. He's been a drug addict living off of others for the majority of his life. We even brought him up here at one point to try and clean him up. Eventually asking him to leave again cause he was abusing pain killers in our household. He went back to Alabama... he's been in and out of jail and rehabs... the kicker is he has 6 children... He's in Jail currently for robbery.. His ex-wife who has "custody" of the kids doesn't even really have the kids. They've been passed back and forth with my wife's family (aunts and uncles) for most of the last 2-3 years. They're currently staying with my Brother-in-Law's girlfriend because the Mother of the children is on the run from the state regarding the oldest being in Juvy and them wanting her to come get the kid and she's strung out on meth. They want her to take a drug test first, etc... anyway she's on the run, strung out, doesn't have her own kids... Can't care for them... The lady that IS caring for them currently can't, she has 4 kids of her own and is in poverty. My wife just asked me if we could take the 3 youngest children into our house. Ranging from 5 years old to i believe 12. There's also a 14 year old that the lady caring for them wants to keep cause she'll get state benefits for him. These kids have not had a good life. I told my wife that I don't want to leave the oldest down there, we'll just take them all. How I'm going to do it, I have no clue... Don't know what to do legally or how to go about any of this.. Just know that these children deserve a chance - And I feel a responsibility to help. Any advice? Has anyone had to deal with similar?
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02-04-2016, 05:16 PM	#96
scho63 Politically Incorrect Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Scottsdale, AZ Casino cash: $2731110	Our government sucks so bad in this country that 6 children are living in complete squalor and horrific conditions and you and your wife, who are related to the children, are trying to help these kids out substantially, get them off the dole, improve their lives tremendously, and clear the courts of another horrible child services mess. Now here you are fighting the mess that is the bureaucracy. You are a noble person who deserves sainthood and the people who are standing in your way, no matter their rhyme or reason, are complete scum! Common sense takes a back seat. I hope you succeed! __________________ *"The only difference between sex for free and sex for money is that sex for free costs you a WHOLE LOT more!"* ~Redd Foxx~ ~~2018 2019 2020 20212022 2023~~ 2024 Adopt a Chief - Clark Hunt and Brett Veach "The men who drafted Patrick Mahomes"
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