Anyone else have a shy bladder?
 

I'm sitting in my doctors office, holding up the other patients because I can't go. This has happened to me every time I've had to take a drug test too. I have to go bad but when I get in there nothing will come out. So freaking annoying. :banghead:

Typical pothead excuse..

Not having a drug test this time. Possible kidney infection.

After nearly 23 years of drug tests in the Army, I think I could piss on command on live television if required.

Lots of water 30 mins before you go

I work for Fedex and get several "RANDOM" piss tests per year... Me too

Kid needs more water.

Sometimes if someone walks into the restroom when I am at the urinal it takes me longer than usual to get started, but it doesn't stop be entirely. But that could just be my ADD distracting me.

Yeah, same thing for me. I typically have to flush the urinal and hear that big "whoooosh" sound for my bladder to grasp the concept of release.

I chugged 2 20oz bottles in the last hour. I've always had this problem unless I'm drunk. I have to go use the restroom in the opposite end of the house if my girlfriend is over. Public restrooms are not possible at all unless it's a private single stall with a lockable door. Even then if I know someone is waiting for me it's not happening.

This is hella racist

You gotta put your hand up high on the wall and then there are no problems :thumb:

Geez, just pee dude. Do you have some kind of weird hangup about standard bodily functions? It's not like they're asking you to masturbate in front of everyone.

I get a kick out of banging on the bathroom door while someone is taking a piss. You can hear it cut off mid stream every time. It scares the shit out of them LMAO

You sound like a rape victom

I don't know what the deal is, it's obviously psychological. I've been like this since I can remember.

Are you a small man son?

I'm black

That just means you have small balls and creates an optical illusion that you have a larger organ

Only when I'm slump busting with Tiger Woods.....

I just whip it out and the stream flows

nope... In the military we don't worry about this. I can tell they guys that have problems pissing when they get all close to the urinal when there is a dam splash guard at the bottom.

When you go to the bathroom are you thinking about who is going to see ur penis or are you focused on coating the urinal with man-fire?

Try singing a song while you piss. It will work.

This is just a form of anxiety. Lots of resources out there available to help deal with this sort of problem.

It has nothing to do with not wanting anyone to see my member. I can't explain it, because I don't understand it.

Another fitting question for this discussion, why do you care about what anyone else thinks about you when you're trying to pee? Seriously, it's a natural bodily function.

It sounds like a goofy question, but you said that this manifests itself when you feel like someone is waiting on you.

Bingo. Same.

The trick is to do something like double or triple digit math(multiplication).
Your brain focuses on that process and relaxes your pee pipe enough to go.

There is a shower scene in American History X that helped me relax.

Have the guy in the next stall to stick his finger in your ass

He's a planeteer so anything under a foot is "small"

I tried that and dropped my pen

Are you embarrassed by the sound of your weak piss stream or something?

Well, duh. The planet is basically a stable for the world's biggest dicks.

Maybe buy your bladder an alcoholic drink or two to loosen it up a little bit and help with the shyness?

my bladder is not shy, it's an exhibitionist


i can go anytime,anywhere on anyone that pays me

Why don't you just sit down and take a piss? My Sister in law revealed that's what her moonbat husband from Sweden does

A majority of the foreign guys at my work piss in the toilet.. :)

The only way to break this is to just try in public restrooms of all kinds, I used to have this problem and this is how I broke it. I still cant pee standing shoulder to shoulder with someone at arrowhead though. Most bathrooms are fine for me now.

Try it using the Frank in Shameless method.

<iframe width="640" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Wskkg7rXMkA?feature=player_detailpage" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Success! Finally.

Frank's way never fails. LMAO

I dont like to talk about my shy bladder.

Did you sing to yourself?

No.

Are you sure you weren't holding up the other patients because you got your phone out to start a thread on CP while standing at the toilet?

Probably meth related. Better put down the pipe.

Are you on probation?

Dude. Water. Drink it. That is all.

I drink over 6 Liters of water a day. That is not the issue at all.

I literally have to either piss in a stall, or if I'm in a urinal I have to put my left arm against the wall in front of me and lean my head into it (so my body is tilted forward) just to piss.

It's annoying as ****.

Not anymore. Do to your inability to handle you johnson properly, your blackman status has been revoked. We traded you to the Asians for John Cho, my ninja from the Harold and Kumar movies. Deal is done....leave the hair grease, and hot sauce packets on your way out!

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/RDcEzaqplRk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

"I'm a grower, not a shower"

Some of you are just weird...

No you're not. STFU. I know who you are. You tripped the mult tracker once. Don't play that shit.

lol

who is that Bump?

Uhh what?

Who is it?

I've never had a problem. I will pee on Sly James in the middle of a speech.

kidney infection

or

enlarged prostate

Insert random ATM joke ...

GOD DAMNIT , YOURE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE!!!! :cuss::cuss::cuss:

Bust his ass floppy :thumb:

So now you're bragging. That'll get you no where. :D




I used to have to use the poop stall all the time. After 32 years I was finally starting to get over the stage fright but then broke my back. Now I run into bathroom stalls not being big enough for my chair so I do my business right out in the open. I know it may bother some folks but it's not my fault if the business doesn't have a big enough bathroom.

C'mon man. Step up to the plate. Use one of these & you'll never have a belly ache from full bladder.


http://www.180medical.com/uploads/images/IMG_0655.jpg

Yeah, I do. He mostly just sits there and doesn't say much.

Solution: check out the guy next to you!

No. Never.

I don't have a shy bladder, but I do have an outgoing colon. I could take a shit with Jesus sitting in the stall next to me.

Do you also experience ED?

Interesting. I've often considered reincarnating myself on this board as a black man with a shy bladder, but now I see its no use.

It's all psychological so you have to come up with a trigger to trick the mind. Others mentioned singing and solving mathmatical equations. For me, I focus on the wall in front of me searching for irregularities that I can turn into a female body part. As soon as I find the boobs or ass, etc., then shabam!

Damn, I could piss in front of a crowd of 80k people. Of course, I grew up on a farm. You piss wherever you want.


I feel sorry for you guys.

Means you were molested as a child, Uncle Steve, was it?

I do after I get sucked off

What if you’re the one doing the sucking

Goddamn, SR, I guess this guy did something special to incur your wrath, eh? LMAO

have a guy rub your shoulders.

The only time I have trouble peeing is when I'm at arrowhead and I have to squeeze in between two dudes. Not sure why that makes it harder to start but it does

Yip.

Lemme help u with that