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Old 04-16-2021, 01:03 PM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Men Demand Reparations From Women Due To Eve Eating The Apple

Damn straight. That bitch ruined EVERYTHING!

Men Demand Reparations From Women Due To Eve Eating The Apple



Quote:
WORLD—The men of the world are demanding reparations from the women of the world after realizing all their problems stem from Eve taking a bite of the fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil over 5,999 years ago.

"Eve, the ancestor of all women, ruined everything for us," said Carl McGuinness of Provo, Utah, at a press conference Friday. "We demand payment for the sin and death that rained down upon the human race after the first woman went ahead and took a bite of the forbidden fruit."

"This is merely leveling the playing field from all the inequity that women have caused through their ancestor less than 6,001 years ago."

After calculating the damages stemming from Eve's bite out of the fruit, men have determined they are owed some $593,000,000,000,000,000. As they realize this will take some time to pay back, they have stated they are graciously willing to take payment in the form of sandwiches for the time being.

At publishing time, men had withdrawn their request since women pointed out that if Adam had been there to lead his wife as the head of the household, Satan probably wouldn't have been able to trick her.
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Old 04-16-2021, 01:51 PM   #16
Bearcat Bearcat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Donger View Post
Duh:

In the middle ages there existed a recurrent theme that appeared in media ranging from frescos to literature to carvings. It was of the Phalus Tree, also known as the Dong Tree, the Dick Tree, or the Tree of Dicks.
Definitely didn't think I'd get a answer so.... specific.

I'll resist the name change to DongTree.
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Old 04-16-2021, 01:54 PM   #17
Donger Donger is offline
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Where'd you guys think my name came from? It came from the Donger Tree. Watch out below...
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Old 04-16-2021, 02:04 PM   #18
Kman34 Kman34 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Donger View Post
Duh:



In the middle ages there existed a recurrent theme that appeared in media ranging from frescos to literature to carvings. It was of the Phalus Tree, also known as the Dong Tree, the Dick Tree, or the Tree of Dicks.
Interesting that they are putting them in bags..
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Old 04-16-2021, 02:11 PM   #19
Katipan Katipan is offline
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Originally Posted by Hammock Parties View Post
WE HAD TO - you ****ed it all up so bad, there's no WAY we were letting you run shit ever again.

Every wonder why there's never been a GIRL President?

THAT'S WHY
We don't have to be President.

All your bravado aside, all we have to do is show tits or tears to get you do whatever we want.

I'm saying we very broadly.
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Old 04-16-2021, 02:23 PM   #20
Donger Donger is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katipan View Post
We don't have to be President.

All your bravado aside, all we have to do is show tits or tears to get you do whatever we want.

I'm saying we very broadly.
Oh shit. They're on to us, fellas. At least the tits part.
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Old 04-16-2021, 02:25 PM   #21
Easy 6 Easy 6 is offline
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Originally Posted by Donger View Post
Oh shit. They're on to us, fellas. At least the tits part.
She's right about the tears too, most guys totally kuck out when their girl cries
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Old 04-16-2021, 02:29 PM   #22
MTG#10 MTG#10 is offline
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Originally Posted by Katipan View Post
We literally let you run the world. Eat a dick.
Let?
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Old 04-16-2021, 02:30 PM   #23
Chiefspants Chiefspants is offline
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Originally Posted by Hammock Parties View Post
Every wonder why there's never been a GIRL President?

THAT'S WHY
Here's some trivia I'd bore people with at parties: We've had one de facto woman President.

Last edited by Chiefspants; 04-16-2021 at 02:56 PM..
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Old 04-16-2021, 02:41 PM   #24
Donger Donger is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Easy 6 View Post
She's right about the tears too, most guys totally kuck out when their girl cries
Did I miss a memo?
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Old 04-16-2021, 02:45 PM   #25
Easy 6 Easy 6 is offline
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Originally Posted by Donger View Post
Did I miss a memo?
I dunno, did you?
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Old 04-16-2021, 02:46 PM   #26
stevieray stevieray is offline
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Originally Posted by Katipan View Post
t
all we have to do is show tits or tears to get you do whatever we want.
.
Maybe on amateurs.

"fifty percent of their charm is illusion"
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Old 04-16-2021, 02:51 PM   #27
BWillie BWillie is offline
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Old 04-16-2021, 03:04 PM   #28
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Easy 6 View Post
She's right about the tears too, most guys totally kuck out when their girl cries
The last time a girl cried in my presence I got rid of her.

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Old 04-16-2021, 03:09 PM   #29
Willie Lanier Willie Lanier is offline
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Originally Posted by Katipan View Post
We don't have to be President.

All your bravado aside, all we have to do is show tits or tears to get you do whatever we want.

I'm saying we very broadly.
That's a really disheartening point of view for women; but, to each their own...

Personally I think women are the smarter sex...

They don't ram their heads into things for a game
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Old 04-16-2021, 03:10 PM   #30
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Originally Posted by Willie Lanier View Post
That's a really disheartening point of view for women; but, to each their own...

Personally I think women are the smarter sex...

They don't ram their heads into things for a game
They would if they could.

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