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Old 04-16-2021, 01:03 PM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Men Demand Reparations From Women Due To Eve Eating The Apple
Damn straight. That bitch ruined EVERYTHING!

Men Demand Reparations From Women Due To Eve Eating The Apple



Quote:
WORLD—The men of the world are demanding reparations from the women of the world after realizing all their problems stem from Eve taking a bite of the fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil over 5,999 years ago.

"Eve, the ancestor of all women, ruined everything for us," said Carl McGuinness of Provo, Utah, at a press conference Friday. "We demand payment for the sin and death that rained down upon the human race after the first woman went ahead and took a bite of the forbidden fruit."

"This is merely leveling the playing field from all the inequity that women have caused through their ancestor less than 6,001 years ago."

After calculating the damages stemming from Eve's bite out of the fruit, men have determined they are owed some $593,000,000,000,000,000. As they realize this will take some time to pay back, they have stated they are graciously willing to take payment in the form of sandwiches for the time being.

At publishing time, men had withdrawn their request since women pointed out that if Adam had been there to lead his wife as the head of the household, Satan probably wouldn't have been able to trick her.
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Old 04-16-2021, 08:09 PM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chiefspants View Post
Yep! Edith Wilson was the de facto President for almost 2 years. Drunk History had a pretty good segment on it.


I love me some drunk history.



Sad that they've got more history in a 30 minute show with a gig than history channel.



Father's a former history teacher, love me some history. Especially when you can tell it in a way that's enjoyable to learn
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Old 04-16-2021, 08:10 PM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jallmon View Post
My bad, didn't go all the way to the end before posting...

Wilson's wife ran the show when he got sick, also.

Slow your roll Mr Pokemon.



There's no points awarded for being first on the buzzer with the wrong answer.



Trebek angrily shakes his head at you.
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Old 04-16-2021, 08:15 PM   #48
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Apples suck. The least god could have done was plant a BLT tree to really make it tempting. Lazy.
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Old 04-16-2021, 08:17 PM   #49
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pablo View Post
Apples suck. The least god could have done was plant a BLT tree to really make it tempting. Lazy.

How else was he gonna teach that bitch to make an apple pie?
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Old 04-16-2021, 09:00 PM   #50
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All these delusional ho's around here seem to think they deserve Johnny Depp swooping in on a decked out Harley Davidson

What they're gonna get is me in a 2010 Silverado... pucker up, buttercup
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Old 04-16-2021, 09:06 PM   #51
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Originally Posted by Easy 6 View Post
All these delusional ho's around here seem to think they deserve Johnny Depp swooping in on a decked out Harley Davidson

What they're gonna get is me in a 2010 Silverado... pucker up, buttercup





You the kind of gangster mother****er that'd swoop them up and eat all 6 of your spicy McNuggets in front of them without giving them the satisfaction of eye contact.
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Old 04-16-2021, 09:15 PM   #52
Katipan Katipan is offline
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The only time Johnny Depp was hot was as a drunk pirate.
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Old 04-16-2021, 09:17 PM   #53
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katipan View Post
The only time Johnny Depp was hot was as a drunk pirate.
http://read.gov/aesop/005.html
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Old 04-16-2021, 09:19 PM   #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J Diddy View Post
You the kind of gangster mother****er that'd swoop them up and eat all 6 of your spicy McNuggets in front of them without giving them the satisfaction of eye contact.
In some alternate universe, we would be best friends
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Old 04-16-2021, 09:19 PM   #55
Katipan Katipan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kjwood75nro View Post
I'm sorry Johnny. Had I known you post here I would have kept my biological reactions to myself.
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Old 04-16-2021, 09:20 PM   #56
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Probably not.
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Old 04-16-2021, 09:35 PM   #57
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Easy 6 View Post
In some alternate universe, we would be best friends

So we're not already?


Bummer. Thanks man.
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Old 04-16-2021, 09:43 PM   #58
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Old 04-16-2021, 09:45 PM   #59
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This reminds me of an old joke.

Adam is alone in the Garden of Eden. He’s bored with jerking it, and calls out to God, “Hey God, this is getting old. Got anything better?”

God replies, “Yeah, I’ve got something great. You’ll love it. But it will cost you an arm and a leg.”

Adam says “That’s a pretty steep price. Got anything else?”

“Sure,” says God. “Almost as good, but a bit troublesome. It’ll only cost you a rib.”

“I’ve got a bunch of those,” Adam says. “Deal.”

Adam gives up the rib, and the next day Eve strolls into the Garden, naked and beautiful. “Wow, this is great!” Adam says. “But just imagine what I could have got for an arm and a leg!”
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Old 04-17-2021, 11:27 AM   #60
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Christianity is such a hilarious fairy tale.

Woman was made from a rib.

We all could be naked if they didnt eat the apple.

God got two of each animal, put them on a boat and made them ****.

Jack went up the beanstalk.

If they were nursery rhymes instead would we really know the difference?
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