Life Would you be in a zoo? - Page 2

**Rain Man** · 10-14-2015, 06:09 PM

Hypothetical situation here.

Some nation that doesn't understand much about American culture wants to set up an "America" exhibit in their zoo, so that their citizens can see how an American lives.

In a random process, they select you as their top candidate, and you receive an unsolicited offer as follows:

1. You will live in a 2,000 square foot home with a 3,000 square foot yard.

2. On three sides, the home and yard will have a vertical 50-foot concrete wall that prevents you from leaving. Viewers can look down on you from the top.

3. The fourth side will be a large unbreakable window where viewers can see you.

4. Your home will not have a roof, and all rooms will be visible from the windows. In other words, you will have zero privacy.

5. A sliding cover will be placed over the top of the enclosure during inclement weather.

6. The zoo will be open 18 hours per day. There may be a night watchman wandering around during the other six.

7. You will have internet access, and will be allowed to order anything you like on the Internet.

8. You will be paid an annual salary, per the poll, and will receive free medical care from zoo staff.

9. It's a lifetime commitment. You will be there until you die.

10. You will get one month off each year from December 1 through December 31, in which you can leave your enclosure and go wherever you wish.

11. Zoo staff will maintain your enclosure, and of course you can order furniture and other decorative things on the Internet.

What is the minimum salary that you would require for this arrangement?

You may also assume that anyone currently living with you will join you by choice.

**Rain Man** · 10-14-2015, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dave Lane

How dark are the skies there? Can I leave in June when the Milky Way is in its best position? I can possibly be more flexible in my salary demands with answers to these question. Also girl monkey visits allowed?

It's pretty dark after the zoo closes and the snow cone stand above your enclosure shuts down.

You can only leave in December because that's the zoo's slow period.

I think visitors would be allowed, but they must be in the enclosure with you, so keep privacy considerations in mind. (The zoo visitors expect to see bodily functions, so it won't bother them.)

ping2000 · 10-14-2015, 08:26 PM

Will you be probed by zoo doctors? If so, Cosmo is in.

Psyko Tek · 10-14-2015, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buehler445

And it would have to be enough to order high quality hookers in.

yup need hookers
buehler has this down

**Dave Lane** · 10-14-2015, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psyko Tek

yup need hookers
buehler has this down

Buehler always has it down that boy has an eye for female talent.

**Dave Lane** · 10-14-2015, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

It's pretty dark after the zoo closes and the snow cone stand above your enclosure shuts down.

You can only leave in December because that's the zoo's slow period.

I think visitors would be allowed, but they must be in the enclosure with you, so keep privacy considerations in mind. (The zoo visitors expect to see bodily functions, so it won't bother them.)

Yeah no can do for December I'm afraid I'm going to have to try to let them down easy. It's going to be hard for them.

**DaFace** · 10-14-2015, 08:56 PM

What's the point in having a salary if you're only able to spend it one month out of every year?

listopencil · 10-14-2015, 09:02 PM

I would show them how an American lives by whipping out my dick and pissing on their shoes at the thought of trading away total liberty for total security. And then I'd rig something to blow up behind me as I slowly walked away without looking back at the explosion. **** yeah.

scho63 · 10-14-2015, 09:02 PM

I see no mating with other zoo inhabitants, I'm out!

SDChiefs · 10-14-2015, 09:40 PM

Why would you need to buy food? Dont zoos usually feed the animals?

**Rain Man** · 10-14-2015, 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SDChiefs

Why would you need to buy food? Dont zoos usually feed the animals?

I was torn about this. I think we can assume that they will provide a very healthy and balanced diet for you, and you can order cookies and stuff from Amazon Prime.

**Perineum Ripper** · 10-14-2015, 10:25 PM

Can I walk around naked..do jumping Jacks and yoga in front of the glass wall naked and can I request 12 hours a day instead of 18

**Shaid** · 10-14-2015, 10:56 PM

Lifetime commitment is the dealbreaker. It's a 2 year gig.

Why Not? · 10-14-2015, 11:10 PM

If they let me get back to them in 30 years, I would probably do it. Not now, in my 30's though.

**Rain Man** · 10-14-2015, 11:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mac459

Can I walk around naked..do jumping Jacks and yoga in front of the glass wall naked and can I request 12 hours a day instead of 18

I think you can do whatever you want. They're paying to see you. However, the 18 hour day is non-negotiable. The zoo needs that evening revenue.

Sorce · 10-15-2015, 08:14 AM

I picked no amount of money would be worth it, I think it would be different if it were for like 10 years. I would trade 10 years of privacy to be financially set for life. I just don't see a point in a lot of money if you can't really be free to go out and spend it.

View Poll Results: The minimum annual salary to spend my life in a zoo would be ...
$0. I would do it for free. It sounds like a peaceful and carefree existence.	1	2.22%
$1 to $25,000. I'd need a little spending money, but I don't need to save for retirement.	0	0%
$25,001 to $50,000 - I'd want to maintain some sort of lifestyle.	1	2.22%
$50,001 to $100,000 - I'd want to live well.	1	2.22%
$100,001 to $150,000 - I'd make this count.	1	2.22%
$150,0001 to $250,000 - I'd want to leave some sort of legacy.	1	2.22%
$250,001 to $500,000 - You'd have to make it really worth my while.	2	4.44%
$500,001 to $1 million - I'd need to make up for a lot of stuff I'm missing.	3	6.67%
$1.01 million or more - It would have to be an offer I can't refuse.	4	8.89%
No amount of money would be worth it.	26	57.78%
I already live in a zoo.	3	6.67%
I am unable to comprehend such a situation. I think it's unconstitutional.	2	4.44%
Voters: 45. You may not vote on this poll

10-14-2015, 06:09 PM
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3348491 VARSITY	Would you be in a zoo? Hypothetical situation here. Some nation that doesn't understand much about American culture wants to set up an "America" exhibit in their zoo, so that their citizens can see how an American lives. In a random process, they select you as their top candidate, and you receive an unsolicited offer as follows: 1. You will live in a 2,000 square foot home with a 3,000 square foot yard. 2. On three sides, the home and yard will have a vertical 50-foot concrete wall that prevents you from leaving. Viewers can look down on you from the top. 3. The fourth side will be a large unbreakable window where viewers can see you. 4. Your home will not have a roof, and all rooms will be visible from the windows. In other words, you will have zero privacy. 5. A sliding cover will be placed over the top of the enclosure during inclement weather. 6. The zoo will be open 18 hours per day. There may be a night watchman wandering around during the other six. 7. You will have internet access, and will be allowed to order anything you like on the Internet. 8. You will be paid an annual salary, per the poll, and will receive free medical care from zoo staff. 9. It's a lifetime commitment. You will be there until you die. 10. You will get one month off each year from December 1 through December 31, in which you can leave your enclosure and go wherever you wish. 11. Zoo staff will maintain your enclosure, and of course you can order furniture and other decorative things on the Internet. What is the minimum salary that you would require for this arrangement? You may also assume that anyone currently living with you will join you by choice.
Posts: 141,266

10-14-2015, 08:26 PM	#17
ping2000 Changes pants while driving Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Washington D.C. Casino cash: $5930495	Will you be probed by zoo doctors? If so, Cosmo is in.
Posts: 15,769

10-14-2015, 08:56 PM	#21
DaFace Kind of a mod Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Donkey Land Casino cash: $2056899	What's the point in having a salary if you're only able to spend it one month out of every year?
Posts: 51,749

10-14-2015, 09:02 PM	#22
listopencil Immanentize The Eschaton Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In Partibus Infidelium Casino cash: $2255880	I would show them how an American lives by whipping out my dick and pissing on their shoes at the thought of trading away total liberty for total security. And then I'd rig something to blow up behind me as I slowly walked away without looking back at the explosion. **** yeah. __________________ Everything the State says is a lie, and everything it has...it has stolen.
Posts: 55,927

10-14-2015, 09:02 PM	#23
scho63 Politically Incorrect Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Scottsdale, AZ Casino cash: $2801110	I see no mating with other zoo inhabitants, I'm out! __________________ *"The only difference between sex for free and sex for money is that sex for free costs you a WHOLE LOT more!"* ~Redd Foxx~ ~~2018 2019 2020 20212022 2023~~ 2024 Adopt a Chief - Clark Hunt and Brett Veach "The men who drafted Patrick Mahomes"
Posts: 50,432

10-14-2015, 09:40 PM	#24
SDChiefs Veteran Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Americas Finest City Casino cash: $8260778	Why would you need to buy food? Dont zoos usually feed the animals?
Posts: 2,320

10-14-2015, 10:25 PM	#26
Perineum Ripper Supporter Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Missouri Casino cash: $1959542	Can I walk around naked..do jumping Jacks and yoga in front of the glass wall naked and can I request 12 hours a day instead of 18
Posts: 5,208

10-14-2015, 10:56 PM	#27
Shaid Supporter Join Date: Nov 2006 Casino cash: $3125783	Lifetime commitment is the dealbreaker. It's a 2 year gig. __________________
Posts: 5,689

10-14-2015, 11:10 PM	#28
Why Not? In Search of a Life Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Kansas Casino cash: $3188994	If they let me get back to them in 30 years, I would probably do it. Not now, in my 30's though.
Posts: 21,683

10-15-2015, 08:14 AM	#30
Sorce Veteran Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Kansas City, MO Casino cash: $6448777	I picked no amount of money would be worth it, I think it would be different if it were for like 10 years. I would trade 10 years of privacy to be financially set for life. I just don't see a point in a lot of money if you can't really be free to go out and spend it.
Posts: 2,442