Life Funny true life stories. - Page 3

DenverChief · 02-08-2019, 09:22 PM

So yesterday I'm at the DMV getting new plates and some other miscellaneous vehicle registration stuff done. I'm in full uniform as I just got off duty and the DMV was on my way home. Everything went well the lady who helped me was pleasant and my trip in was fairly swift compared to the average trip to the DMV.

I get up to leave and make my way towards the exit when an older male, possibly late 50s to early 60s in an electric wheelchair is coming towards me into the county office area. As we get closer we have the following exchange:

Wheelchair guy: "Excuse me officer, can you tell me where I go to register my vehicle?"

Me: "yeah, straight ahead through the wooden double doors."

Wheelchair guy: "I'M BLIND!"

I Almost fell over right there. Somewhere between stunned and and laughing my ass off at the response. Fortunately a county worker standing close to the door summoned him in the direction he needed to go without having to have any further exchange. I turned around and walked out wondering wtf just happened.

It has been a long while since I have been surprised by someone, but this guy got me.

Anyone have any funny stories work related or not to share?

DenverChief · 02-10-2019, 03:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TinyEvel

We were shooting a video for a client's national conference. A hype video interviewing customers about how much they loved the brand (It was a national ice cream parlor chain)

Well, they had just gone through a really big re-design converting a couple local locations into "THE STORE OF THE FUTURE" that was designed less like an ice cream shop and more like Starbucks, where you order at one counter and pick up your stuff at the other end of the counter. I thought that was dumb, since the best part of ordering ice cream is looking down into the flavor tubs -- who the hell wants to go order at a register at one end like Starbucks?

Well, they pick the location to shoot the video, and it's an older store over in Santa Monica.

I asked, 'Why aren't we shooting at the store of the future"

my client rep says...

"Because The Store of the Future is not the direction the company is headed."

awkward ....

**Baby Lee** · 02-10-2019, 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stumppy

I stopped in a Walgrens looking for the only thing I ever found that would get rid of chiggers. Chigarid. Best thing I ever found to get rid of those itching mofos. Anyways, After looking for a few minutes without any luck, I walked up to this female employee who was just finishing up with talking to two older black women. She turns from them to me and I say 'Do you have any Chigarid here?' She got this surprised look on her face, looks back at the two black women then to me and said 'Pardon me' I said 'Chigarid,it's used to get rid of chiggers'. She gave a quick glance to the women then looked back at me, face turning red and said "No, No we don't have ANYTHING like THAT'.
She turned and kinda corralled the black women down the aisle away from me saying something about what they were looking for was down here.

Thats when I figured out what the problem was.

Edit: Never did find any Chigarid

As a kid, I always found it fascinating that in the south they let the n-word fly, but call chiggers redbugs. Redbug is like the most NorthAtlantic word in a Louisianan's vocabulary. All day long with their southern twang, then when they talk about itchy insects they suddenly sound like Katherine Hepburn for a hot minute.

stumppy · 02-10-2019, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baby Lee

As a kid, I always found it fascinating that in the south they let the n-word fly, but call chiggers redbugs. Redbug is like the most NorthAtlantic word in a Louisianan's vocabulary. All day long with their southern twang, then when they talk about itchy insects they suddenly sound like Katherine Hepburn for a hot minute.

I know what you mean about the n-word. Way back when (70's), when I was a teenager, I lied about my age and got a job with a railroad contractor who was based in Chicago. The first contract I went out on was for the K.C. Southern RR down in Texarkana. None of us, most were from Chicago area, could believe how the yard formen for KCS talked to the black guys working their. Talk about a culture shock. What passed for normal, everyday life down there would have got you killed in Chicago.

oldman · 02-10-2019, 10:41 AM

Some of these are just a hoot and have enjoyed reading them. Maybe it was just my early days, but I often think, "how did that happen and was I really that dumb".

golfindude · 02-10-2019, 01:47 PM

Several buddies and myself, all white guys, used to play basketball one evening a week when the gym was open. (40 yrs ago) Some black kids none of us knew from a local town started showing up and we would play blacks against whites, their choice. I had very limited exposure to black kids so was very careful about what I said. We took a break and at the drinking fountain I asked one of them 'where are you 'boys' from. The one getting a drink spewed all over himself and we all had a good laugh. I did this again just recently with a car salesman. I'm not very couth.

DeepPurple · 02-10-2019, 02:07 PM

If you saw the Tom Cruise movie American Made, then I'll tell you that stuff is true. In the mid 70's I was working at St. Petersburg/Clearwater Control tower and a Ted Smith Aerostar had called for landing. I told him to report left downwind for Runway 22. I saw the Aerostar and he reported and just then a Citation Jet called for landing a mile east of the airport. I told him to follow the Aerostar, I was going to chew him out when he got in because his first contact was just a mile from the airport.

The Aerostar lands and taxis in to the ramp and the Citation taxis in right behind him. They park maybe a 100 yards from the tower, so I can see everything real clear with the binos. I was trying to figure out what the Citation was up to. Just then I saw 3 or 4 guys jump out of the Citation with guns pulled and ran up and pulled the guys out of the Aerostar. It was a drug bust.

I found out the drug runnners loved using the Aerostar

Feds were using a confiscated Cessna Citation Jet, they called the tower later to apologize for not contacting us sooner. They said they were following the Aerostar for a quite awhile and wasn't sure where he was going. Then when they saw them head toward our airport, they contacted us for landing.

My other neat story from St. Pete Tower was around '77 I working in the evening about 8pm and we had taken our headsets off and had the radios in the speakers. I heard this pilot call for landing and without a doubt, I knew it was Arthur Godfrey, his voice was so distinctive. You younger guys probably say, who? Anyway, I wasn't doing anything so I ran down to the ramp just as he was pulling in. He was flying a twin, a Beech Baron by himself at night, not easy for a guy his age or any age for that matter. As he opened the door, I asked if he needed any help with his luggage and I carried in his suit case. Was a heck of a nice guy.

DeepPurple · 02-10-2019, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stumppy

I know what you mean about the n-word. Way back when (70's), when I was a teenager, I lied about my age and got a job with a railroad contractor who was based in Chicago. The first contract I went out on was for the K.C. Southern RR down in Texarkana. None of us, most were from Chicago area, could believe how the yard formen for KCS talked to the black guys working their. Talk about a culture shock. What passed for normal, everyday life down there would have got you killed in Chicago.

My first job when I got out of the Army in '72 was as a switchman for Southern Railroad in Savannah. That's about as redneck as you can get. I liked how they trained you, they didn't. I was standing at the front of a moving engine on my first day, and the engineer yelled "Go hit that spot", I didn't have a clue what he meant.

Does anyone know? The spot is a derailer, they have those near RR crossings, you as a switchman must run ahead of the train, which is only going about 5 mph, and throw that derailer off the track. You would think someone would explain that to the switchman trainee a little sooner than when it's about 50 yards ahead of a moving engine.

stumppy · 02-10-2019, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeepPurple

Does anyone know? The spot is a derailer, .

Kinda like how I found out what a torpedo was. Anyone know what a RR torpedo is?
The first day I was driving/operating the mobile welder on the tracks, walking along the back of it while moving the mobile welder backwards down the track I hear and feel this big ass BOOM about 10 foot behind me from under the welder. I thought I'd blown the whole damn truck up. It didn't take much to rattle a 17 year old on his first day operating a $1.5 million piece of equipment

One of the guys on our crew thought it was a good way to break in the greenhorn.

Hog's Gone Fishin · 02-10-2019, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stumppy

Kinda like how I found out what a torpedo was. Anyone know what a RR torpedo is?
The first day I was driving/operating the mobile welder on the tracks, walking along the back of it while moving the mobile welder backwards down the track I hear and feel this big ass BOOM about 10 foot behind me from under the welder. I thought I'd blown the whole damn truck up. It didn't take much to rattle a 17 year old on his first day operating a $1.5 million piece of equipment

One of the guys on our crew thought it was a good way to break in the greenhorn.

You should have sprayed him with Mace and then kicked him in the Balls to make it more funny.

SuperBowl4 · 02-11-2019, 08:01 AM

i was in a rush to get to work one morning and I forgot to zip up my fly. I entered the office and one of the secretaries said to me did you forget to close your garage door this morning? I looked at her puzzled and was pretty sure I did. Later when i went to the restroom I realized what she meant. I asked her, when you saw my garage door open did you see a hummer in there? She replied no. Just a old mini van with two flat tires.

Dayze · 02-11-2019, 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperBowl4

i was in a rush to get to work one morning and I forgot to zip up my fly. I entered the office and one of the secretaries said to me did you forget to close your garage door this morning? I looked at her puzzled and was pretty sure I did. Later when i went to the restroom I realized what she meant. I asked her, when you saw my garage door open did you see a hummer in there? She replied no. Just a old mini van with two flat tires.

**Buehler445** · 02-11-2019, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperBowl4

i was in a rush to get to work one morning and I forgot to zip up my fly. I entered the office and one of the secretaries said to me did you forget to close your garage door this morning? I looked at her puzzled and was pretty sure I did. Later when i went to the restroom I realized what she meant. I asked her, when you saw my garage door open did you see a hummer in there? She replied no. Just a old mini van with two flat tires.

Dayze · 02-11-2019, 09:00 AM

better a mini van than a run down Family Truckster with some worn out greenwalls.

02-08-2019, 09:22 PM
DenverChief MVP Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Rocky Ford Casino cash: $5979867	Funny true life stories. So yesterday I'm at the DMV getting new plates and some other miscellaneous vehicle registration stuff done. I'm in full uniform as I just got off duty and the DMV was on my way home. Everything went well the lady who helped me was pleasant and my trip in was fairly swift compared to the average trip to the DMV. I get up to leave and make my way towards the exit when an older male, possibly late 50s to early 60s in an electric wheelchair is coming towards me into the county office area. As we get closer we have the following exchange: Wheelchair guy: "Excuse me officer, can you tell me where I go to register my vehicle?" Me: "yeah, straight ahead through the wooden double doors." Wheelchair guy: "I'M BLIND!" I Almost fell over right there. Somewhere between stunned and and laughing my ass off at the response. Fortunately a county worker standing close to the door summoned him in the direction he needed to go without having to have any further exchange. I turned around and walked out wondering wtf just happened. It has been a long while since I have been surprised by someone, but this guy got me. Anyone have any funny stories work related or not to share?
Posts: 16,123

02-10-2019, 10:41 AM	#34
oldman Curmudgeon Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: North by Northwest Casino cash: $5836784	Some of these are just a hoot and have enjoyed reading them. Maybe it was just my early days, but I often think, "how did that happen and was I really that dumb".
Posts: 5,319

02-10-2019, 01:47 PM	#35
golfindude Starter Join Date: Dec 2018 Casino cash: $4670400	Several buddies and myself, all white guys, used to play basketball one evening a week when the gym was open. (40 yrs ago) Some black kids none of us knew from a local town started showing up and we would play blacks against whites, their choice. I had very limited exposure to black kids so was very careful about what I said. We took a break and at the drinking fountain I asked one of them 'where are you 'boys' from. The one getting a drink spewed all over himself and we all had a good laugh. I did this again just recently with a car salesman. I'm not very couth.
Posts: 164

02-10-2019, 02:07 PM	#36
DeepPurple I could of gone pro Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: The Villages, Florida Casino cash: $10005676	If you saw the Tom Cruise movie American Made, then I'll tell you that stuff is true. In the mid 70's I was working at St. Petersburg/Clearwater Control tower and a Ted Smith Aerostar had called for landing. I told him to report left downwind for Runway 22. I saw the Aerostar and he reported and just then a Citation Jet called for landing a mile east of the airport. I told him to follow the Aerostar, I was going to chew him out when he got in because his first contact was just a mile from the airport. The Aerostar lands and taxis in to the ramp and the Citation taxis in right behind him. They park maybe a 100 yards from the tower, so I can see everything real clear with the binos. I was trying to figure out what the Citation was up to. Just then I saw 3 or 4 guys jump out of the Citation with guns pulled and ran up and pulled the guys out of the Aerostar. It was a drug bust. I found out the drug runnners loved using the Aerostar Feds were using a confiscated Cessna Citation Jet, they called the tower later to apologize for not contacting us sooner. They said they were following the Aerostar for a quite awhile and wasn't sure where he was going. Then when they saw them head toward our airport, they contacted us for landing. My other neat story from St. Pete Tower was around '77 I working in the evening about 8pm and we had taken our headsets off and had the radios in the speakers. I heard this pilot call for landing and without a doubt, I knew it was Arthur Godfrey, his voice was so distinctive. You younger guys probably say, who? Anyway, I wasn't doing anything so I ran down to the ramp just as he was pulling in. He was flying a twin, a Beech Baron by himself at night, not easy for a guy his age or any age for that matter. As he opened the door, I asked if he needed any help with his luggage and I carried in his suit case. Was a heck of a nice guy.
Posts: 1,340

02-11-2019, 08:01 AM	#40
SuperBowl4 MVP Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: HERMOSA BEACH,CA Casino cash: $8034900	i was in a rush to get to work one morning and I forgot to zip up my fly. I entered the office and one of the secretaries said to me did you forget to close your garage door this morning? I looked at her puzzled and was pretty sure I did. Later when i went to the restroom I realized what she meant. I asked her, when you saw my garage door open did you see a hummer in there? She replied no. Just a old mini van with two flat tires.
Posts: 13,560	1 0

02-11-2019, 09:00 AM	#43
Dayze Resident Glue Sniffer Join Date: Nov 2003 Casino cash: $5199358	better a mini van than a run down Family Truckster with some worn out greenwalls. __________________ Life is 99% inspiration, 1% Perspiration, and 1% Attention to Detial. RIP & Godspeed: Saccoppo Lonewolf Ed Fire Me Boy
Posts: 37,358