Thinking of getting re married

[blackkatesmiranda]

Thinking of getting re married .
Turned 50 11-22

Good , Bad or ???
Experiences ?
Kids ?

**Im out of the loop & friends I think are always afraid to say

Married to what I thought was love of my life 20 plus years but ended badly.
Will that screw up all other relationships ?
Brutal honesty always of course .....

Advice

[Yosef_Malkovitch]

Originally Posted by Marco Polo

Out of curiosity, there seems to a consensus of never getting married again. Why is that? I'm 37 and have spent my entire adulthood to being very successful and more than financially stable. I recently got out of a relationship (note: got dumped, but friends think I dodged a bullet), but have always wanted to get married.

What is the difference between fantasy versus reality?

From what I have observed, when a marriage begins to sour, it is very common for one spouse to become very demanding. Have you worked hard to build up a good financial nest egg? Guess what? You're gonna give her half of whatever you acquire after the wedding day (and possibly a good chunk of what you brought into the marriage) if things go south.

Of course, there are exceptions to that, but chances are very good that by the time it all falls apart (if it comes to that) you'll be happy to give up half just to escape the arrangement. I see that all the time: people who could probably get a better deal settling for giving up half just to end it all.

From what I have seen, it's not that marriage itself is such a bad deal, it's that if it ever falls apart then you're gonna get screwed.

And you cannot possibly predict whether it will fall apart... nobody gets married thinking "This is only going to last 5 years, then I'm getting a divorce." Everyone thinks that they will be the exception, that their marriage will be one that makes it. Then they get hammered in the divorce.

From what I have seen, it's better to just cohabit unless you have some moral/ethical reasons to avoid that.

[Fish]

[BigRedChief]

Originally Posted by jspchief

Why on earth would anyone seek this type of advice on this message board?

Has to be a trolling....

[Marco Polo]

Originally Posted by Yosef_Malkovitch

From what I have observed, when a marriage begins to sour, it is very common for one spouse to become very demanding. Have you worked hard to build up a good financial nest egg? Guess what? You're gonna give her half of whatever you acquire after the wedding day (and possibly a good chunk of what you brought into the marriage) if things go south.

Of course, there are exceptions to that, but chances are very good that by the time it all falls apart (if it comes to that) you'll be happy to give up half just to escape the arrangement. I see that all the time: people who could probably get a better deal settling for giving up half just to end it all.

From what I have seen, it's not that marriage itself is such a bad deal, it's that if it ever falls apart then you're gonna get screwed.

And you cannot possibly predict whether it will fall apart... nobody gets married thinking "This is only going to last 5 years, then I'm getting a divorce." Everyone thinks that they will be the exception, that their marriage will be one that makes it. Then they get hammered in the divorce.

From what I have seen, it's better to just cohabit unless you have some moral/ethical reasons to avoid that.

Thanks for sharing! That said, are you married?

[Yosef_Malkovitch]

Originally Posted by Marco Polo

Thanks for sharing! That said, are you married?

I am. But I'm well aware that it is a terrible arrangement, financially speaking.

I fall into the class of people who have some moral issues with cohabiting, which is why I stated that marriage is something you should not do *unless* you have some moral/ethical issues with just living together.

Since most people in this day and age don't have an issue with that, in my opinion, most people should not marry.

[Graystoke]

Originally Posted by blackkatesmiranda

Anyone with experience taking plunge again ?

It looks like the consensus is Do not !

Seriously what does your inner self say?
Are you hesitant? IF SO NO.
Is she demanding it? THEN NO.
Are you going to be haunted by your previous marriage? THEN NO.

I got remarried at 51. Glad I did. However I was all in and there was absolutely no doubt.

[hometeam]

Im not even married once, but in a LTR with the same woman for 7 years now..

If something happens, im done with dating/marriage etc. That shit is a hassle!

Do yourself a favor and grow old in relative peace~

[IowaHawkeyeChief]

It's pretty simple to me... I have been married for 27 years, good time and bad, however, the hardest time was menopause. It was a rough 3-4 years and was like satan came to the house on a daily basis. It is way better almost 2 years out. I am about a year older than you, if I was single, knowing what I know now, I would marry someone in their early 30's or someone who is already through menopause. I definitely wouldn't marry someone in their mid-40' about ready to go through this... I know you can't control who you love, but it is a hard a wierd time and lots of couples don't make it through this stage.

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

If shes a RICH SUPERMODEL thats a nymphomaniac. Get married

Anything less don't do it.

[loochy]

So why are you asking us? We don't know you or your potential wife. We don't know what's going on with it all. Only you do.

I will say that if you have to ask and you aren't sure, then don't.

[arrwheader]

Originally Posted by Yosef_Malkovitch

I've done hundreds of divorces, including some repeat customers coming to me for their 2nd divorce.

As I said earlier, unless you have some moral issues with cohabiting, there is absolutely no reason to choose marriage over that.

I could tell you some horror stories about people getting reamed in divorces... and the really bad part is many times they know they are getting screwed over, but they just don't care because they want out so badly that they are happy to give away a lot more than they have to in order to walk away.

Isn't there something with if you co-habitate for awhile they can still take you for your shit since its like assumed marriage or something? You share the bills etc so they get something. I think that happened to my cousin.

[Graystoke]

Originally Posted by arrwheader

Isn't there something with if you co-habitate for awihle they can still take you for your shit since its like assumed marriage or something? You share teh bills etc so they get something. I think that happened to my cousin.

States that observe Common Law.
•Alabama.
•Colorado.
•District of Columbia.
•Georgia (if created before 1/1/97)
•Idaho (if created before 1/1/96)
•Iowa.
•Kansas.
•Montana.

[Bugeater]

Need pics and her net worth before I can answer.

[ptlyon]

Originally Posted by arrwheader

Isn't there something with if you co-habitate for awihle they can still take you for your shit since its like assumed marriage or something? You share teh bills etc so they get something. I think that happened to my cousin.

Don't know if it varies from state to state, but the magic number here is 7.

Have a friend (both of them actually) where they lived together for more than that time. Difference was, he had everything in his name. He paid all of the household bills, so when it was time for her to leave she had no equity in anything household wise. So she could claim nothing.

[arrwheader]

Originally Posted by ptlyon

Don't know if it varies from state to state, but the magic number here is 7.

Have a friend (both of them actually) where they lived together for more than that time. Difference was, he had everything in his name. He paid all of the household bills, so when it was time for her to leave she had no equity in anything household wise. So she could claim nothing.

Yea, I think that's what got my cousin, she had he name on the water bill or something.