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Old 01-11-2018, 11:00 PM  
blackkatesmiranda blackkatesmiranda is offline
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Thinking of getting re married
Thinking of getting re married .
Turned 50 11-22

Good , Bad or ???
Experiences ?
Kids ?

**Im out of the loop & friends I think are always afraid to say

Married to what I thought was love of my life 20 plus years but ended badly.
Will that screw up all other relationships ?
Brutal honesty always of course .....

Advice
Last edited by blackkatesmiranda; 01-12-2018 at 11:20 AM.. Reason: More info
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Old 01-12-2018, 09:55 AM   #46
arrwheader arrwheader is offline
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Originally Posted by Graystoke View Post
States that observe Common Law.
•Alabama.
•Colorado.
•District of Columbia.
•Georgia (if created before 1/1/97)
•Idaho (if created before 1/1/96)
•Iowa.
•Kansas.
•Montana.
Ah, that's it.
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Old 01-12-2018, 09:59 AM   #47
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Yea, I think that's what got my cousin, she had he name on the water bill or something.
The two I referenced aren't really back together per se, but still live apart and still go 10 up and 10 down quite frequently.
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Old 01-12-2018, 10:29 AM   #48
arrwheader arrwheader is offline
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I kind of have a theory that so many marriages fail these days because now a days men and women don't have expected roles anymore. Seems like old school marriages seemed to be more successful. Idk was it because men were men and women were women and there was just an understanding? Now it seems to be a power struggle where women are now empowered and they want equality yet they still want you to be the "man" in the relationship.

For example I see a lot of this. Guy makes more money, provides more, state of living conditions would be grossly worse if it weren't for him but you see this "got to run it by the wife" stuff or you now "happy wife, happy life" stuff. Guy can't feel like he can just do what he wants without checking in first. Woman get used to this, has false entitlement of things she never really provided. Kids come, guy provides and takes care of kids too, splits children duties.

Idk just thoughts and you could see why this would drive a man insane and lead to resentment and divorce. I know these situations vary but at some point I think a lot of guys get tired of doing more and getting their balls busted and implode.
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Old 01-12-2018, 10:32 AM   #49
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Originally Posted by arrwheader View Post
I kind of have a theory that so many marriages fail these days because now a days men and women don't have expected roles anymore. Seems like old school marriages seemed to be more successful. Idk was it because men were men and women were women and there was just an understanding? Now it seems to be a power struggle where women are now empowered and they want equality yet they still want you to be the "man" in the relationship.

For example I see a lot of this. Guy makes more money, provides more, state of living conditions would be grossly worse if it weren't for him but you see this "got to run it by the wife" stuff or you now "happy wife, happy life" stuff. Guy can't feel like he can just do what he wants without checking in first. Woman get used to this, has false entitlement of things she never really provided. Kids come, guy provides and takes care of kids too, splits children duties.

Idk just thoughts and you could see why this would drive a man insane and lead to resentment and divorce. I know these situations vary but at some point I think a lot of guys get tired of doing more and getting their balls busted and implode.
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Old 01-12-2018, 10:34 AM   #50
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Old 01-12-2018, 10:36 AM   #51
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The OP is too vague for me to advise properly.

There are dynamics that can make marriage a terrible idea and should lead to counseling or completely breaking off the relationship.

If the dynamics are good, then marriage is absolutely a fantastic thing. It takes work, but the payoff in terms of satisfaction is totally worth it.

But again, you have to know the specifics to get good advice.
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Old 01-12-2018, 10:40 AM   #52
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Old 01-12-2018, 10:52 AM   #53
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Why on earth would anyone seek this type of advice on this message board?
Certainly the first place I would go to for relationship advice is a football board with a high concentration of miserable old men
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Old 01-12-2018, 11:15 AM   #54
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I got married at 26 to a woman I dated for 5 years. Ended up in divorce in 2000. Got married again after dating the same girl for 2 years. Second marriage is now 11 years and two kids later.

After having been married twice, there will not be a 3rd. No way. No how. **** no. I'd become a hermit.
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Old 01-12-2018, 11:20 AM   #55
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Originally Posted by arrwheader View Post
Isn't there something with if you co-habitate for awhile they can still take you for your shit since its like assumed marriage or something? You share the bills etc so they get something. I think that happened to my cousin.
As others have noted, common law marriage can get you.

The question is how does the couple hold themselves out? Do they file taxes together (pretty much a slam-dunk if yes). Do they introduce each other as spouses, or as partners?

It becomes a fact-specific inquiry. Once the dust settles, the real issue is whether they have portrayed themselves as married, or just as partners. My next door neighbor is a lawyer, too, and I noticed when he introduced his live-in partner of many years that he was sure to say "this is my partner."
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Old 01-12-2018, 11:27 AM   #56
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I got married at 26 to a woman I dated for 5 years. Ended up in divorce in 2000. Got married again after dating the same girl for 2 years. Second marriage is now 11 years and two kids later.

After having been married twice, there will not be a 3rd. No way. No how. **** no. I'd become a hermit.
This.
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Old 01-12-2018, 11:28 AM   #57
blackkatesmiranda blackkatesmiranda is offline
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Old 01-12-2018, 11:36 AM   #58
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Originally Posted by Steron View Post
I got married at 26 to a woman I dated for 5 years. Ended up in divorce in 2000. Got married again after dating the same girl for 2 years. Second marriage is now 11 years and two kids later.

After having been married twice, there will not be a 3rd. No way. No how. **** no. I'd become a hermit.
Yeah...I've decided that if I somehow wind up divorced.....I'm single for the rest of my life. I'll just find a couple of FWB and call it good.
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Old 01-12-2018, 11:41 AM   #59
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Old 01-12-2018, 11:51 AM
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Old 01-12-2018, 12:04 PM   #60
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