Suicide

[TLO]

I found out today that a good friend of mine from high school committed suicide last night. This has never happened to someone I knew closely.

I'm not sure how to process the emotions I'm feeling.

[swifty32661]

Originally Posted by ChiefsFanatic

I hate when people tell me that being happy is just a choice, and if I decided to be happy and cheerful I wouldn't be depressed anymore. People who have never battled depression really don't believe in it, even if they say they do, and talk about it like an informed person, deep down they don't believe it exists.

I know that in today's culture, it seems like everyone has accepted that depression and mental illness are real, and a real problem, but if so many people without mental illness really believed, there would be a much bigger sustained push to make mental health a priority, with taxpayer funded programs making access to mental health care possible for everyone who needed it. And there would be a bigger push to include adequate, important training for all law enforcement who, because of the lack of accessibility for mental health care, end up dealing with people in the public who suffer mental illness.

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Very well said. Thank you.

[eDave]

[htismaqe]

Originally Posted by Fish

We have a mental health issue in this country that is bigger and more important than many people want to admit.

Yep.

And it's far more complex than just throwing some meds at the problem. In fact, in many cases, throwing meds at it makes things worse, not better.

[htismaqe]

Originally Posted by ChiTown

100% agree. We need a greater focus on mental health in the US. People take this stuff for granted because we assume life should be easy for everyone. Fact is, it's tremendously difficult for many people, and we tend to blow it off as "they'll be fine". And as you allude to in your first paragraph, we are woefully deficient in how we treat mental illness - it's damn near criminal.

The simple fact is that anxiety and depression actually get WORSE per captita as quality of life goes up.

There's a lot of potential causes for this that are beyond the scope of this thread but we have to start treating mental health as the 1st world problem that it is.

It's not the result of "being spoiled" as a society. It goes much, much deeper.

[htismaqe]

Originally Posted by Pitt Gorilla

Fascinating to see that common courtesy/sense can't stop you from being you.

That comment was already moderated. There was zero reason to call further attention to it.

[JohnnyHammersticks]

Originally Posted by Coochie liquor

Lost my son almost 10 years ago to suicide. Worst feeling you can ever have. Never gets better, you just learn to live with the pain and put on a mask to hide it from the world. People cAn say they’re in a better place now, but **** that. The best place is here with me. My son was 11 days from his 17th birthday. Still cry about it when the feelings surface and I can’t make them go back. Sorry for your loss bro. If you need someone to talk to I’m here for you. Can’t tell you how to make the bad feelings go away, but I can tell you if I made it through that, I think anyone can. Bless Up TLO.

Here’s a video I made for my son if you’re interested.

Can't even fathom something like this. So, so sorry.

[burt]

Originally Posted by ChiefsFanatic

I hate when people tell me that being happy is just a choice, and if I decided to be happy and cheerful I wouldn't be depressed anymore. People who have never battled depression really don't believe in it, even if they say they do, and talk about it like an informed person, deep down they don't believe it exists.

I have never experienced depression. I simply don't understand it. I have also never seen Peru, but I believe it exists! I also don't believe it's a choice to be or not to be.

[ChiefsFanatic]

Originally Posted by burt

I have never experienced depression. I simply don't understand it. I have also never seen Peru, but I believe it exists! I also don't believe it's a choice to be or not to be.

I am sorry for generalizing, but I was just sharing my experiences. Thank you for believing that it's not a choice. I don't know this for a fact, but it just feels true, that everyone battling depression has been told to cheer up, or just choose to be happy, by someone who otherwise loves and cares about them.

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[htismaqe]

Originally Posted by ChiefsFanatic

I am sorry for generalizing, but I was just sharing my experiences. Thank you for believing that it's not a choice. I don't know this for a fact, but it just feels true, that everyone battling depression has been told to cheer up, or just choose to be happy, by someone who otherwise loves and cares about them.

I've done this to my own daughter, despite suffering from mental illness my entire life.

It's really easy to do.

[ChiefsFanatic]

Originally Posted by htismaqe

I've done this to my own daughter, despite suffering from mental illness my entire life.



It's really easy to do.

That's why I said they were told that by someone who loves and cares for them. Before my depression got out of control, I am sure that I said it to someone who was suffering.

Now I just let them know that I am there for them, to listen, or just sit in silence, but together. When someone expresses to me that they are battling anxiety, or depression, etc. I let them know that I am sorry they are experiencing those issues, and that I battle those demons as well, and will help in any way I can.

When I was younger, I literally made up a persona, who was cocky, and an asshole, and lived as that persona as often as possible. Because that persona didn't have depression or anxiety.

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[dlphg9]

Originally Posted by ChiefsFanatic

I am sorry for generalizing, but I was just sharing my experiences. Thank you for believing that it's not a choice. I don't know this for a fact, but it just feels true, that everyone battling depression has been told to cheer up, or just choose to be happy, by someone who otherwise loves and cares about them.

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I find telling someone to cheer up much less appalling than I find telling someone to just choose to be happy. Some people just don't know what to say, so they think they are being helpful by saying cheer up and giving reasons why that person should be cheerful.

Now when someone tells someone to just choose to be happy they should get kicked in the nuts. As if someone that has depression has tried everything to feel better besides forcing themselves happy. Like it's even possible to force yourself happy. It's like saying oh you have cancer? Can't you just tell your body to make it go away?

[ClevelandBronco]

Originally Posted by ChiefsFanatic

That's why I said they were told that by someone who loves and cares for them. Before my depression got out of control, I am sure that I said it to someone who was suffering.

Now I just let them know that I am there for them, to listen, or just sit in silence, but together. When someone expresses to me that they are battling anxiety, or depression, etc. I let them know that I am sorry they are experiencing those issues, and that I battle those demons as well, and will help in any way I can.

When I was younger, I literally made up a persona, who was cocky, and an asshole, and lived as that persona as often as possible. Because that persona didn't have depression or anxiety.

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And when something tragic happens, we wonder why we didn't see it coming. We wonder if we could have done something to prevent it.

But because we were satisfied being acquainted with the persona, we never did the uncomfortable and hard work of digging deeper to know the person.

Love + connection = life

Fear + isolation = death

Not exactly the same thing as suicide, but we see that same simple equation time after time after time in mental illness/addiction and recovery.

I feel compassion for all of you who are a part of this sort of crisis in any role. Get help. We know that we're social animals. For that reason, sanity and insanity are contagious on some social level. Let the herd protect you until you heal and become strong enough to help protect the others.

[ChiefsFanatic]

Originally Posted by ClevelandBronco

And when something tragic happens, we wonder why we didn't see it coming. We wonder if we could have done something to prevent it.

But because we were satisfied being acquainted with the persona, we never bothered trying to know the person.

Love + connection = life

Fear + isolation = death

Not exactly the same thing as suicide, but we see that same simple equation time after time after time in mental illness/addiction and recovery.

I feel compassion for all of you who are a part of this sort of crisis in any role. Get help. We know that we're social animals. For that reason, sanity and insanity are contagious on some social level. Let the herd protect you until you heal and become strong enough to help protect the others.

Did you see my post near the top of this thread?

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[ClevelandBronco]

Originally Posted by ChiefsFanatic

As a person who survived a suicide attempt, I know that all the pain that led up to the decision to end my life, suddenly stopped once I made the decision that decision. I experienced the most calm, peaceful feeling the entire day leading up to it.

Before I actually made that decision, when contemplating whether or not to do it, I always worried the most about all the people that I would hurt if I did commit suicide. Those people are the real victims of a suicide.

Unfortunately, depression plays with your mind, and soon you convince yourself that no one will actually care that you are gone, and with that the last obstacle is gone.

To people hurt by suicide, I would say that it is not your fault. Don't blame yourself for not seeing "the signs" or not knowing that your friend was suffering. The proverbial cry for help that we see so many times in movies or television isn't always an actual thing. I would say that as horrible as it may sound, your friend is no longer suffering, and while you are experiencing the pain of loss, your friend experienced worse for a long time.

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Originally Posted by ChiefsFanatic

Did you see my post near the top of this thread?

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That one? I just went back to find it. I hadn't read the whole thread.

Lotta truth there. The actor is very often so adept at playing his part that we never see the problem until after the tragedy.

Even worse than convincing you that the survivors won't care, depression will even convince you that they'll actually be better off without you.

[CarlosCarson27]

Originally Posted by eDave

Ok but what's the significance of this? I don't really know