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07-05-2013, 10:50 AM | |
ON CP YOU’RE SOMEBODY’S BITCH!
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The Pussification of the American Male Demonstrated by a Longass, Boring ****ing Post
Dear Chiefsplaneteers,
I need help. When it comes to dressing myself and looking cool in doing so, I struggle. I've been told the last few years that I dress nicely, but this is ONLY because my wife picks out my outfits for me. Over the years, I've literally had to learn the hard way about apparent fashion "no-no's" by someone pointing out to me how stupid I looked by wearing certain combinations of clothing. In every single one of these instances, I had already worn that clothing combo SEVERAL times and spent the rest of the day thinking about how many people had thought I looked stupid as hell over the years for dressing that way. Examples: A.) I had a girlfriend in high school, who prior to leaving my house for the county fair (ugh), she INSISTED that I did not wear Doc Martin boots with shorts and that I changed into either some jeans or put some sandals on. B.) We had a freaking exchange student from Brazil who had a better sense of our culture's fashion than I do. The first week he lived with us, he said to me, "why do you do this, wearing your socks with sandals? I think this is kind of weird." I was like, "oh, I think that's how we do it in the U.S.A." He was like, "no, it isn't." He was right. C.) I had another girlfriend in high school who insisted that I did not wear navy blue and black together. D.) In my first Senior year of college (I had 2 of them), we arrived at this club and one of my best friends was like, "dude I think it's the funniest thing in the world that every time you wear a black dress shirt, you also wear a brown belt and brown loafers with it." I was like, "what's wrong with that?" He was like, "dude, that is a HUGE fashion no-no. Didn't you know that?!?! I never said anything to you because you are always acting like a jackass, so I figured you were doing it to be funny. Omg Swaff, you can be so stupid." And boy did I feel stupid...I had been doing that my entire life. Obviously, dressing cool does not come naturally to me. So, I got this thing in the mail from SI. They had an offer that I thought was freaking awesome. A one year subscription to SI and a jacket of a team of your choice for $29. You can check out the offer and the jacket here: http://www.si.com/offer29 I generally just disregard mail like this, but I decided to go through with this one and am pretty pumped about it. I'm real pumped about the jacket, for the only Chiefs jacket I have at the moment is a 1990's Starter jacket that my grandma found at a resale shop and bought for me. I don't mind it, but my wife won't be caught dead with me if I wear it, so I never wear it...I'll probably end up donating it...to the resale shop. Here is a pic of the jacket: Is this jacket presentable/cool enough to wear to a game or to wear out in public at the bar while watching the game? I literally don't know, I have no fashion sense and my wife is a Steelers fan, so of course she doesn't think it looks cool. Help a fashionably challenged brotha out. Thanks. Sincerely, rico <3 XOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXO <3 Last edited by rico; 07-06-2013 at 11:09 AM.. Reason: All hail milkman!!!!!!! |
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07-05-2013, 11:51 AM | #16 |
MVP
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07-05-2013, 11:52 AM | #17 |
Ain't no relax!
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Only with matching Zubaz..... otherwise you're just wasting your time...
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07-05-2013, 11:55 AM | #18 |
ON CP YOU’RE SOMEBODY’S BITCH!
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My mother in law hand-made me a Chiefs robe. It's made from material that just has a bunch of Chiefs logos and helmets all over it. I think it's bad ass. Would it be cool to roll into a Chiefs game and party hard, Hugh Hefner style? Because I may do so, someday, regardless....but I'd still like to know if I'm looking cool or not.
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07-05-2013, 11:55 AM | #19 |
Bono & Grbac wasn't enough
Join Date: Oct 2000
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I mean, if you're going to wear something of a shitty team that hadn't been to the super bowl in 40 years, or win a playoff game in 20, it had better look good. Amiright?
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07-05-2013, 11:56 AM | #20 | |
Bono & Grbac wasn't enough
Join Date: Oct 2000
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Quote:
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07-05-2013, 12:02 PM | #21 |
Spiraling down the Drain
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Chiefs gear is always in fashion. Wear a Chiefs hat out to dinner.
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07-05-2013, 12:03 PM | #22 |
ON CP YOU’RE SOMEBODY’S BITCH!
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Good idea. I'll have to find some slippers on ebay or something. Maybe I can get ahold of a vintage newspaper from the 90's where the Chiefs did something cool. I'll have to smuggle the scotch it, but could be a bad idea for I can turn into an asshole when I drink hard liquor. I think this could work!!!!!
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07-05-2013, 12:04 PM | #23 |
ON CP YOU’RE SOMEBODY’S BITCH!
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Here is a photo of the SI jacket I will be receiving in the mail:
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07-05-2013, 12:05 PM | #24 |
Bono & Grbac wasn't enough
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You bought it anyways???
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07-05-2013, 12:07 PM | #25 |
Ith Fuhtbawl Time
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Go to bonobos.com and buy your clothes there. If you can't afford it, find cheaper alternatives of the same style at places like Target, Old Navy, Gap etc.
Or beat off for the rest of your life. |
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07-05-2013, 12:07 PM | #26 | |
Ain't no relax!
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Quote:
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07-05-2013, 12:10 PM | #27 |
ON CP YOU’RE SOMEBODY’S BITCH!
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Well yeah, regardless of the jacket being uncool...I can still wear it in my house on days where I am too lazy to leave my house to watch the game...especially if my wife is working and is unable to tease me about how uncool I look. My daughters are still young enough to where I don't think they'll call me out for being uncool, quite yet.
Not to mention, I am pumped about having a subscription to SI for a year for only $29. |
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07-05-2013, 12:11 PM | #28 | |
Ith Fuhtbawl Time
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Quote:
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07-05-2013, 12:12 PM | #29 | |
ON CP YOU’RE SOMEBODY’S BITCH!
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Quote:
Has the attendance been THAT bad these past couple-few years? |
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07-05-2013, 12:13 PM | #30 |
ON CP YOU’RE SOMEBODY’S BITCH!
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I dunno, I could be alone, but... I think it is....
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