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I've been trying to think of a really simple way to explain parenthood.
A year from now, you'll be holding two little feet, the size of the end of your thumb with one hand, elevating a tiny bottom into the air so you can slide a clean diaper under a freshly wiped little butt. You're probably going realize the new diaper is going to be loaded before you've even strapped it on and you'll catch yourself slipping your hand under the butt and catching a palm full of tapioca.
In short, in a few months, another human might shit in the palm of your hand, and you won't even care. Once you learn about choking you'll be more afraid of an uncut grape than a shady guy in a dark parking lot.
Also, all new parents please do this one thing for me...Go get certified in child CPR.
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