> MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
>
> NICKNAMES
>
> * If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
> * If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
>
> EATING OUT
>
> * When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
> * When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
>
> MONEY
>
> * A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
> * A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
>
> BATHROOMS
>
> * A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel
> * The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
>
> ARGUMENTS
>
> * A woman has the last word in any argument.
> * Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
>
> FUTURE
>
> * A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> * A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>
> SUCCESS
>
> * A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
> * A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
>
> MARRIAGE
>
> * A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
> * A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
>
> DRESSING UP
>
> * A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
> * A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. - maybe
>
> NATURAL
>
> * Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
> * Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
>
> OFFSPRING
>
> * Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
> * A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
>
> THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
> A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
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