Quote:
Originally Posted by crayzkirk
I'm having difficulty rebuilding trust in an old 'friend'. We grew up together and there were lots of good times. We shared an apartment and he never paid for any bills. I let him move in with me again because, as he stated, he would be around and could pay me back. I found him stealing from me and never got a cent from him. I kicked him out and moved his stuff into the front yard.
So, about 25 years after this, I hear from him and he wants to see me. I'm a little skeptical however I agree. He says that he wants to make amends and wants to know how much he owes me; I tell him whatever he thinks is fair. I don't hear from him for another 5 or so years. We have gotten together a couple of times, talking about the old days, etc. and I enjoyed it.
I asked about getting some CBD for my tremors and he said that his son could get me a deal; could save me $80. My response was that I wasn't going to get into any sort of financial transactions with him. He gets indignant and says he's tired of the bullshit and should just cut me a check.
Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me. Burn me thrice?
We're both 62; life is short. I've never had a 'friend' treat me this way. There's part of me that wants to figure out how to fix things and there's another part that says run way.
How do you rebuild trust once it's damaged?
|
His job to rebuild trust with you. Not yours.
However, This is pretty simple really. You can just forget about the fact that he owes you anything and go from there. Give him a clean slate.
Of course, you have to realize that if you 'loan' him any money, you're really just giving him money; you can't expect to get the money back, ever.
My dad told me when I was leaving for college, "if you ever loan money to a friend, never expect to get it back. So, don't ever loan money you can't afford to just give away."
Turns out he was completely right I'd need my fingers and toes to count the number of time I loaned out money to friends, and I only need one hand to count the number of friends that actually paid me back.