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All the mental gymnastics are kind of pointless. The only real reason for it is that JJ decided that was how he was going to retcon her origin.
I think it's kind of silly and any number of alternatives would have been better for me. I still like the idea of Satine keeping a child secret from Obi-wan, creating potential for a Kenobi grandchild. Or Ezra and Sabine. Or pretty much any two characters not named Palpatine.
Abrams went for too many moments that were cool from the perspective of a 40+ year old who'd lived their entire lives fantasizing about the SW universe, moments that made no sense in the context of a new movie trilogy with new characters. Too much was tied to the original trilogy, and not much really survives even a cursory examination of the plot, themes, events or motivations of the final trilogy or the characters within.
That's the main issue I have with episode 9 (and 8 and 7...).
But maybe it wasn't ever possible to really do it right.
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