Funny things your pet would say to you?
 

If your pet could talk, What would some of your best " WTF" moments be like ?

They'd tell me that I seem nice.

Stop jerking off in front of me.

...The Chiefs should have taken Deshaun Watson...

You should try scraping your ass on the driveway. Feels so good

You keep ****ing Mom the same way I **** the neighbors mutt

“Dumbass”

Have you seen my balls? You took me somewhere, I took a nap, and when I woke up they were gone. Wtf?

You're a lousy lay.

"You can't lick your balls? You poor bastard!"

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My anus has touched every surface area in this house

Milkman approves of this message.

RIP

Quit licking her ASS

ohiloveyouohiloveyou

feed me.

NOW.