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-   -   I'm on a mission to shit (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=283786)

J Diddy 05-19-2014 01:24 PM
After heart surgery it took me a week and some laxatives. It'll come and when it does it'll be glorious.

RaiderH8r 05-19-2014 01:54 PM
In the mean time, install a seat belt and handles on your shitter.

Fire Me Boy! 05-19-2014 01:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by htismaqe (Post 10638389)
First of all, stop eating all that fiber. By ingesting fiber, you're actually forming bulk. Metamucil is actually making the problem worse, especially if you don't ingest that kind of fiber daily. It won't help you go, it will just fill you up.

I wouldn't recommend Senokot or any stimulant laxative as it's going to give you pain and cramping.

You're on the right track with Milk of Magnesia but

1) two tablespoons is not enough and
2) you don't need an antacid

Grab a bottle of this and drink the WHOLE thing. It is available everywhere that has a 3-aisle basic pharmacy and costs about $1. Wait 30 minutes to an hour. Don't get too far from the bathroom. It's safe and I guarantee you it will work.

http://img1.targetimg1.com/wcsstore/...5/11454275.jpg
Yep.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Zarth (Post 10638394)
PREPARE FOR BATTLE
PREPARE TO LOSE.

booger 05-19-2014 01:59 PM
Claythanoscopy

RaiderH8r 05-19-2014 02:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by booger (Post 10638605)
Claythanoscopy
He'll probe the hell out of 3 inches of rectum.

hometeam 05-19-2014 02:11 PM
Just think of how good its going to feel when it comes out -

I have attached a gif that I think is appropriate.

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/374...rsh-shit-o.gif

Thank you, gentleman, you may now return to your business.

booger 05-19-2014 02:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RaiderH8r (Post 10638620)
He'll probe the hell out of 3 inches of rectum.
LMAO

That dirty butt pirate!

Marcellus 05-19-2014 02:14 PM
Just go buy a bag of those sugar free gummy bears. Problem solved.

Dayze 05-19-2014 02:14 PM
just don't get a prolapse.

(I looked that one up once on the internetz.....never again)

Hammock Parties 05-19-2014 02:16 PM
Update: 3:14 PM CDT

I continue to rip farts. Strangely, the beginning of each fart feels as if it might be the turd of destiny, that lets loose the tidal wave o shit....but I remain disappointed.

A courier has been dispatched to deliver this secret "magnesium" bomb. The Anus will not stand against this chemical warfare.

booger 05-19-2014 02:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dayze (Post 10638626)
just don't get a prolapse.

(I looked that one up once on the internetz.....never again)
Rectum? Damn near turned em inside out!

Dayze 05-19-2014 02:17 PM
"wave o' shit".

I didn't realize you were Irish

Buck 05-19-2014 02:18 PM
Miralax

Dayze 05-19-2014 02:19 PM
once it's out, you should celebrate by eating a block of cheese.

booger 05-19-2014 02:20 PM
Get in the bathtub man gonna be shit everywhere


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