Thinking of getting re married
 

Thinking of getting re married .
Turned 50 11-22

Good , Bad or ???
Experiences ?
Kids ?

**Im out of the loop & friends I think are always afraid to say

Married to what I thought was love of my life 20 plus years but ended badly.
Will that screw up all other relationships ?
Brutal honesty always of course .....

Advice

Sure why not.

PIIYB

Kinda up to you. I wouldn't marry if this is where you are at mentally.

Are you really serious? I serious doubt I will ever do it again. Almost 20 years married. Like not having the baggage.

I would never get married again….and I have been cohabiting with my girlfriend for 10 years now.

If she loves you, she'll cohabit.

How many times for both of you?

Don't. Just **** women and become an alcoholic you'll have fun then one day you die.

Good luck with that...

Married 27 ****ing years !! No just NO !

Marriage disrupts the natural power balance between men and women, to the detriment of men.

The only issue would be if minor children were involved, but since you're 50, that's unlikely.

Assuming no kids, don't even entertain the idea of marriage. You're just handing over half your shit for nothing, and that unearned power will make your woman crazy and take away your options for dealing with her.

GO kick the football Charlie Brown again...

Ok Alex.

Yeah wth you only live once.

Depending on the dump truck...

Without reading about your circumstances no.

Why on earth would anyone seek this type of advice on this message board?

From the sound of it, no, you shouldn’t. I think by the time you reach 50 and have been married 20 years once before you should know the answer yourself already. You probably do but don’t want to admit it to yourself. If you do go ahead with it you should at least have a pre-nup so you don’t get taken to the cleaners a second time. Unless by “ended badly” you mean your ex is buried in a Rubbermaid tub under the crawspace of your house, in which case you probably have bigger problems than deciding whether or not you should get remarried.

Definitely the smartest thing he's ever posted

What's in it for you? And be specific

And it won't be bjs

I'm a lawyer. I do divorces. I have seen a lot of things.

Unless you have some moral qualm about cohabiting (such as if you believe it is a sin to live with someone without marrying them), I cannot think of any reason why you would choose marriage. Do you love her? Do you want to spend your life with her? Great! No reason you can't cohabit (and skip the marriage part).

ChiefsPlanet needs to pull its head out of its ass

Anyone with experience taking plunge again ?

It looks like the consensus is Do not !

Hell, I wised up before the first time

I've done hundreds of divorces, including some repeat customers coming to me for their 2nd divorce.

As I said earlier, unless you have some moral issues with cohabiting, there is absolutely no reason to choose marriage over that.

I could tell you some horror stories about people getting reamed in divorces... and the really bad part is many times they know they are getting screwed over, but they just don't care because they want out so badly that they are happy to give away a lot more than they have to in order to walk away.

You knock this chick up or something?

Out of curiosity, there seems to a consensus of never getting married again. Why is that? I'm 37 and have spent my entire adulthood to being very successful and more than financially stable. I recently got out of a relationship (note: got dumped, but friends think I dodged a bullet), but have always wanted to get married.

What is the difference between fantasy versus reality?

That's why

I think we need a pic before we can give proper advice.

From what I have observed, when a marriage begins to sour, it is very common for one spouse to become very demanding. Have you worked hard to build up a good financial nest egg? Guess what? You're gonna give her half of whatever you acquire after the wedding day (and possibly a good chunk of what you brought into the marriage) if things go south.

Of course, there are exceptions to that, but chances are very good that by the time it all falls apart (if it comes to that) you'll be happy to give up half just to escape the arrangement. I see that all the time: people who could probably get a better deal settling for giving up half just to end it all.

From what I have seen, it's not that marriage itself is such a bad deal, it's that if it ever falls apart then you're gonna get screwed.

And you cannot possibly predict whether it will fall apart... nobody gets married thinking "This is only going to last 5 years, then I'm getting a divorce." Everyone thinks that they will be the exception, that their marriage will be one that makes it. Then they get hammered in the divorce.

From what I have seen, it's better to just cohabit unless you have some moral/ethical reasons to avoid that.

Has to be a trolling....

Thanks for sharing! That said, are you married?

I am. But I'm well aware that it is a terrible arrangement, financially speaking.

I fall into the class of people who have some moral issues with cohabiting, which is why I stated that marriage is something you should not do *unless* you have some moral/ethical issues with just living together.

Since most people in this day and age don't have an issue with that, in my opinion, most people should not marry.

Seriously what does your inner self say?
Are you hesitant? IF SO NO.
Is she demanding it? THEN NO.
Are you going to be haunted by your previous marriage? THEN NO.

I got remarried at 51. Glad I did. However I was all in and there was absolutely no doubt.

Im not even married once, but in a LTR with the same woman for 7 years now..

If something happens, im done with dating/marriage etc. That shit is a hassle!

Do yourself a favor and grow old in relative peace~

It's pretty simple to me... I have been married for 27 years, good time and bad, however, the hardest time was menopause. It was a rough 3-4 years and was like satan came to the house on a daily basis. It is way better almost 2 years out. I am about a year older than you, if I was single, knowing what I know now, I would marry someone in their early 30's or someone who is already through menopause. I definitely wouldn't marry someone in their mid-40' about ready to go through this... I know you can't control who you love, but it is a hard a wierd time and lots of couples don't make it through this stage.

If shes a RICH SUPERMODEL thats a nymphomaniac. Get married

Anything less don't do it.

So why are you asking us? We don't know you or your potential wife. We don't know what's going on with it all. Only you do.

I will say that if you have to ask and you aren't sure, then don't.

Isn't there something with if you co-habitate for awhile they can still take you for your shit since its like assumed marriage or something? You share the bills etc so they get something. I think that happened to my cousin.

States that observe Common Law.
•Alabama.
•Colorado.
•District of Columbia.
•Georgia (if created before 1/1/97)
•Idaho (if created before 1/1/96)
•Iowa.
•Kansas.
•Montana.

Need pics and her net worth before I can answer.

Don't know if it varies from state to state, but the magic number here is 7.

Have a friend (both of them actually) where they lived together for more than that time. Difference was, he had everything in his name. He paid all of the household bills, so when it was time for her to leave she had no equity in anything household wise. So she could claim nothing.

Yea, I think that's what got my cousin, she had he name on the water bill or something.

Ah, that's it.

The two I referenced aren't really back together per se, but still live apart and still go 10 up and 10 down quite frequently.

I kind of have a theory that so many marriages fail these days because now a days men and women don't have expected roles anymore. Seems like old school marriages seemed to be more successful. Idk was it because men were men and women were women and there was just an understanding? Now it seems to be a power struggle where women are now empowered and they want equality yet they still want you to be the "man" in the relationship.

For example I see a lot of this. Guy makes more money, provides more, state of living conditions would be grossly worse if it weren't for him but you see this "got to run it by the wife" stuff or you now "happy wife, happy life" stuff. Guy can't feel like he can just do what he wants without checking in first. Woman get used to this, has false entitlement of things she never really provided. Kids come, guy provides and takes care of kids too, splits children duties.

Idk just thoughts and you could see why this would drive a man insane and lead to resentment and divorce. I know these situations vary but at some point I think a lot of guys get tired of doing more and getting their balls busted and implode.

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Google "marriage as a horse race".

Warning NSFW

The OP is too vague for me to advise properly.

There are dynamics that can make marriage a terrible idea and should lead to counseling or completely breaking off the relationship.

If the dynamics are good, then marriage is absolutely a fantastic thing. It takes work, but the payoff in terms of satisfaction is totally worth it.

But again, you have to know the specifics to get good advice.

Governor Greitens, you shouldn't ask for love advice on the internet...

Certainly the first place I would go to for relationship advice is a football board with a high concentration of miserable old men

I got married at 26 to a woman I dated for 5 years. Ended up in divorce in 2000. Got married again after dating the same girl for 2 years. Second marriage is now 11 years and two kids later.

After having been married twice, there will not be a 3rd. No way. No how. **** no. I'd become a hermit.

As others have noted, common law marriage can get you.

The question is how does the couple hold themselves out? Do they file taxes together (pretty much a slam-dunk if yes). Do they introduce each other as spouses, or as partners?

It becomes a fact-specific inquiry. Once the dust settles, the real issue is whether they have portrayed themselves as married, or just as partners. My next door neighbor is a lawyer, too, and I noticed when he introduced his live-in partner of many years that he was sure to say "this is my partner."

This.

Yes it’s me the Governor of Mo ! What’s a man to do if blackmail doesn’t work

Yeah...I've decided that if I somehow wind up divorced.....I'm single for the rest of my life. I'll just find a couple of FWB and call it good.

I love the lame ass "Without knowing your situation, I cannot comment"


Then don't!

If you're statistically minded, 100% of divorces are caused by marriage

You're 50. Do what makes you happy. If it's marriage that makes you happy, do it. If it's just being in a relationship with her that makes you happy, meh, why push it into marriage? JMHO

^this^
as for me, i'm thinking i've been married around 38years. if and when it ever ends, that's it. no more. geeze, i hate to think of trying to get someone else to wash my underwear.
sec

I did. That one didn't work either. In hindsight, I used her to move on from the other.

Sex completely stopped when my GF went into menopause. For a long time. And we are done now. Gotta have that physical relationship or it will fail. Guaranteed.

I don't know his situation but you should warm up.

If he wants to make her happy he should


BRING IN THE CLOSER

I guess you can put me in the crowd that thinks once is enough. Still married to the high school sweetheart. If that ever goes south, I'm out of the game. Well I think that way now, I guess we would see if I looked at it different if that time came.

I can't imagine willfully subjecting myself to TWO women to bitch at me, even if at separate times :shake: . And if times got tough sexually, I'd just buy a porn and pull the shades down :(

If he's dating a menopausal woman, I'll had ve to do it dirty. I'll squirt a tube of lube on her, and go all monkey-crazy on that monkey

Do you like to kick, stretch, and kick???

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-li...y/n12147?snl=1

I've been through one womans bootcamp (27 years) - I think I would go it alone and do things differently.

Add Texas to the list. :thumb:

+1 Your gut will tell you what's best for you. If you want to be together, then be together.

He was asking about marriage

Some bitter ****ing people who exist here.

Marriage and relationships are all about work. If you marry somebody not expecting to have to work at it, then you're doing it wrong. If you expect that she'll cook, clean, and let you go fishing every weekend until the end, make sure she knows that up FRONT and that those things aren't suddenly going to change, and that she needs to set those same expectations for you.

If that works for the two of you then mazle tov.

Honestly in 2018 USA I'm not sure why any man gets married.

You gain nothing and risk everything. It's a 1 sided contract. You can be in relationships without signing a 1 sided contract.

prenuptial agreement or dont even think about it

do not comingle your funds or assets

kind of this

i mean unless you are crazy enough to be wanting to have kids

but thats crazy....

you want your 50's and 60's to be fun and all about building up towards retirement

if this is like some younger hot chick who needs help and shes not a legitimate partner and bringing as much to the table financially as you and REALLY going to help you build toward retirement.....then do not do this...

if she is not wanting and needing to sign a prenuptial as much as you , do not even consider this....

you alreasdy know that love is more than pussy and ****ing

it is a business and life partnership as well...

be careful my dude we love u

This. Travel the world on your own. Enjoy the tastes of other countries and their women. I definitely would not marry an American chick. You'll end up on some #metoo list.

ROFL NSFW

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I’m going to ask my lady to marry me this year. I’m 37 and she’s 38. We’ve never been married. She’s better off than me financially. She’s a Dr, in shape and very sweet to me. I’m now a returning college student and plan on joining the police acedmy at the end of the year.

Does a woman being better off financially make a difference about the guy getting married?

This. ****ing run. Have a long term girl friend. It's what I've done for 10 years.