Would you be in a zoo?
 

Hypothetical situation here.

Some nation that doesn't understand much about American culture wants to set up an "America" exhibit in their zoo, so that their citizens can see how an American lives.

In a random process, they select you as their top candidate, and you receive an unsolicited offer as follows:

1. You will live in a 2,000 square foot home with a 3,000 square foot yard.

2. On three sides, the home and yard will have a vertical 50-foot concrete wall that prevents you from leaving. Viewers can look down on you from the top.

3. The fourth side will be a large unbreakable window where viewers can see you.

4. Your home will not have a roof, and all rooms will be visible from the windows. In other words, you will have zero privacy.

5. A sliding cover will be placed over the top of the enclosure during inclement weather.

6. The zoo will be open 18 hours per day. There may be a night watchman wandering around during the other six.

7. You will have internet access, and will be allowed to order anything you like on the Internet.

8. You will be paid an annual salary, per the poll, and will receive free medical care from zoo staff.

9. It's a lifetime commitment. You will be there until you die.

10. You will get one month off each year from December 1 through December 31, in which you can leave your enclosure and go wherever you wish.

11. Zoo staff will maintain your enclosure, and of course you can order furniture and other decorative things on the Internet.


What is the minimum salary that you would require for this arrangement?


You may also assume that anyone currently living with you will join you by choice.

A bunch. And the zoo would have to be good with me spanking it frequently.

And it would have to be enough to order high quality hookers in.

That doesn't sound like a bad deal I just can't decide on my salary. I get held over and have to work 16 hour days all the time so it's like living at work. Getting that month off & do what ever you want & have interweb all the PS4 games you want to play I'd be down for it.

Get Charley Sean in on it and get a discount. Plus all the blow you want.

Wouldn't it be fun to fling poo and people gawking at you.

Hey, they want to find out how Americans live. That's part of it.

Phuk zoos. All of them.

If you seriously consider it, the money is almost irrelevant. You don't need long-term retirement money or savings in that scenario, at least not for shelter and health care. You really only need enough for food and stuff to keep you occupied, and of course your one-month vacation each year. Any more than that is kind of wasted, other than maybe leaving an inheritance to somebody.

So it almost becomes a question of trading your privacy (and I guess some social life) for an early and secure retirement. Because in retirement what are you going to do? You're going to sit in your house and find stuff to keep you busy, and maybe you'll go travel a month every year.

Sounds a lot like a prison to me. No thanks.

The ritual pacing would wear out my carpet.....

Can they put in a nice big pond and stock plenty of fish to catch? If so sign me up.

I suspect they could arrange that. It would have to be a very small pond, though, because they need room for the howler monkey exhibit next door.

How dark are the skies there? Can I leave in June when the Milky Way is in its best position? I can possibly be more flexible in my salary demands with answers to these question. Also girl monkey visits allowed?