The Lurker 500
 

Ladies and Gentlemen.

Start your Engines for the Lurker 500.

In this race of planet history, Lurkers, those with less than 100 posts per year of membership are challenged!

Myself, and other tenured members I shall designate will pose comments, statements or questions of Chiefs Planet History. Your job~your Challenge! is to explain the story behind the comment, link it to its originating poster....explain why its relevant or funny. Bonus points awarded for context.

How well do the lurkers know us? How versed are the lurkers in our history?

At the end of this thread, I will donate $20 to Chiefsplanet in the name of the determined winner. The contest will end when I determine the thread/contest has run its course.

Points will be awarded by myself to the first lurker with correct explanation of each event. Bonus points will be given to those with less than 10 total posts.

Tenured posters are allowed to participate in the thread, however until a lurker answers a question...do not give the answer, or anything more than subtle hints on questions that may pose difficulty. Once revealed of the true answer.....feel free to give your take or comment on that moment.

Future items may be simple....or more difficult and will be from various times of planet history.


1. The Chocolate Hogs.

Somewhere, a lurker is laughing out loud @ YOU!!

Wow, I've been here a while and I have no idea what that's referring to. Good luck lurkers.

I'm sorry, Herve but with 1200+ posts in 9 months, you're too old for this season's American Idol.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...illechaize.jpg

Was it every explained 'why' you go by Tattoo?

Lurking nearly every day since the Planet's inception, I would bet that I am one of the most prolific lurkers around. I do not know about the chocolate hogs. I am embarrassed.

Perhaps that question is too difficult to begin. We'll tag it as a bonus question, still in play....and move on.


2. The American Hero Caper

Ooh, I think I know this one. American Hero really annoying troll-like bastard. Somehow, a planet member got some of his personal info and more planet members did some things to make his life miserable. Perhaps including getting him in trouble at his job?

Shootr is the first lurker on the board.
+1 point for the overall situation.

A point still remains for explaining further details, including the home team-location of the troll in question.

Holy God. You are a lurker defined.

Can you name American Hero's favorite NFL team?

It is in the deep recesses of my lurker mind. I want to say Pittsburgh, but that doesn't seem quite right.

Tattoo
 

Cus my :arrow: Tattoo on my right arm/ got it on an all expense company paid trip I won to Cabo San Lucas Mexico last year. Awesome fun in the sun & lots of drinking:BLVD:. Thanks for asking:thumb::D

The Steel Men are coming!

:clap:

Oh my God this could be the greatest of all Planet Threads

Do I count as 500 lurkers?

American Hero was not a Steeler fan. Steel Men are coming, is available in the hall of classics, but that troll, who was a steeler fan....American Hero was not.

No point.



#3.
bRainman has a notorius automobile. What is it and what color?

This went down waaay before I started lurking, but the guy was Slayer Diablo (I believe he changed his name a couple of times.) Apparently a know it all guy who got quotes wrong quite a bit - something about his sig and superfly or die.

Chocolate refers to the fact he gave chocolate to chicks for them to hang out after his church band played. I'm guessing the hog part came because it was big chicks. In the 007 photoshop, he's chilling with some hogs...

Wiggums has done some diggin with the search function.

+2 for Chief Wiggum.

The Chocolate Hogs.
Slayer Diablo(who still lurks here but hasn't participated in years) was a 14 year old Tag student, and younger brother of one of our posters. His username came from a level of some game that I can't recall. He thought the Marine Saying in Full Metal Jacket was "Super Fly Do or Die" instead of "Sempre FI! Do or DIE! GUNG HO GUNG HO".

The Chocolate hogs were indeed other school age girls that this 14 year old PimpAmerican gave chocolate candy bars to in effort to stink up his finger.



Good job Wiggum!

Apricot BMW

Come on Kristie Tynes question. I've got that one down...

Very Nice, MONK! 7 years of service....7 posts. A true Contender of otheLurker Championhsip.


+1 Monk
bRainman is indeed known for an Apricot colored BMW.

A rule addition.
I'll award a bonus point to any lurker who tells 3 sentences about themselves following their answer.

#4

Bobdole had an encounter with a well known individual in a restroom facility.
Who was that person and what is the story of the event?

The beloved Z3.

I know! I know!

Infamous member mostly posting in DC runs rival team BB.....

That would be Mr. Taco John

A cool question would ask lurkers to name the most romantic pairings of chiefsplanet members, both prior to chiefsplanet and meetings on chiefsplanet.

Can I have a bonus point for mentioning another Bob Dole encounter in a restroom?

I was working up to that line of questioning.


#5.
What was the first, public love quarrel and breakup that took place before the peeping eyes of Chiefsplanet.

Name both usernames as well as your recollection of the duel.

Let it rip, and Judges will consider your contribution.



While I can't award points...I'd like to know what their "favorite thread/story/quote" witness here has been. Set it up, explain it, and link it if you choose.

Sky and Ebola something about dirty secrets in which Taco John started?

The birth and goodbye of Curly was one of my personal favorites.

Good Enough. I expected the answers to be related to Lurid trists and breakups that followed.

+1 Pop.

Was that Luv n Moo?

Far as the recollection of that un... Moo was a pimp, and Luv didn't like it... Silliness and 939723669329732 pages of quoteables followed.

3 sentences?

Moved to KC area when I was 1 year old. Been here all my life. Normal life... Married, no kids... 2 cars, no dog... Joined Chiefsplanet a few years ago with blind homerism burning and was quickly reprimanded by JSP... Took the blinders off, and have lived a sad Chief loving self loathing life since... :(

Damn... late and wrong... I'll go back to my corner...

Luv and I forgot the other one. LOL

#4 is still in play.
Who did Bobdole run into in a public restroom and what happend?


#6.
"STOP OR I'll Shoot" A planeteer had an accident in his home. What happend and what was ventilated?

The first public breakup was when marty's ass dumped Proctor for being over-affectionate.

#4. Was it Joe Montana and something to do with a fart?

Was it Carl Peterson?

kcking
no points for the question..... +1 for the info.


Keeping momentum. Next question.

#7
Someone almost saw a reporter naked. Whats the story?
Bonus point for naming the resulting thread that followed.

Danielle Sargent?

First part is Danielle Sargeant. How do the search function work? I can't can't get anything out of it.

The Eagles?

You're warm, definitely 1 piece of the puzzle....but I need more of the story before points are awarded.

Only other thing I think I recall was that it was at training camp

Mr. Iowanian, I am probably wrong on both.

#4 Not sure of the details, but I belive Mr. Bobdole encountered Ross Perot

#6. I guess ENDelt and refrigerator

A famous planeteer had an "encounter" in a restroom. Which planeteer is involved and what happened in the encounter?

Been looking for the answer to #4 since the question was posted, and the only verifiable information I have that Bob Dole has ever even been in a bathroom is from his review of urinal cakes. For the record (as a tribute to Bob Dole) Chief Wiggum doesn't like blue urinal cakes either...

The search function is painful... All these questions are from before my time. I guess I'm just happy on on the board at the Lurker 500.

Thanks to GoBo for the rep and $10 in casino bucks :clap:

Monk.

You're at least partially correct on both questions. I cannot offer tips for fairness in this thread, but these stories must be relayed to future generations to understand the culture of our cp forefathers.

It doesn't matter to me if one chooses to use the search function, but my true hope is to challenge you lurkers and see how much you know about the place. Obviously, the later arrivals can use this opportunity as a history lesson, to help understand why certain jokes are funny here, that might not be in other contexts.

I've given up on the search function. It is a complete joke.

Thanks for the clue Goatse! Per BD

"Bob Dole has previously posted about Bob Dole's encounter with Joe Montana in the men's room at Tom Fooleries on the Plaza in KC. Though uneventful, it's been a fairly decent story for quite a few years.

Until today, Bob Dole didn't really think much about the circumstances, but now Bob Dole is concerned that perhaps some sort of strange karma-thing is making itself felt.

Bob Dole was in the men's room across the hall from Bob Dole's office about 10 minutes ago, disposing of the last 2 pots of black coffee. A typical run-of-the-mill everyday occurance that Bob Dole is certain many of the people on here have in common.

Anyway, as with the Joe Montana story, the door opens and Bob Dole turns to look (without coughing, thank you) and Ross Perot strolls in and steps up to the urinal next to Bob Dole.

This makes 2 urinal encounters, and Bob Dole is wondering WTF is up with that?

Besides the connection with the previous encounter, this story is only bettered by the fact that Mr. Perot proceeded to do his best impression of General Colon Bowel barking out orders. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, even the very wealthy are apparently afflicted with flatulence now and again.

Unbelievable."

Hahahahaha. That was amazing.

This thread is amazing.

The restroom story question I posed is separate from the Bob Dole story.

Here's another question:

A famous planeteer had a crush on a girl at school. He was invited to a party. What was the nature of their relationship before the party, and what did said planeteer do at the party?

Hint - look in the hall of classics

Right, wrong, warm, cold?

well knowing who to use it is one thing.

the fact that it might be slow is a factor of the database (indexing capability) and it's table design

One of the above.

In a shameless ploy for more points, I was born and raised in Hutchinson, KS until my family moved to the west coast when I was 16. Gonzaga is my alma mater and hoops team. I hate Roy Williams because of how he left KU - even though I don't care about their team.

Mr Iowanian, I respect the spirit of this thread, and because I won't get most of the questions, I'll bow out of the competition for lurkers that have been around and can answer off of the cuff. I'll enjoy reading it though...

Great thread idea I'm looking forward to keeping up with this

solidifying the knowledge of history here into a thread

I don't even know half of these.

$1100?WTF,did you go on a winning streak?

Roulette, baby! At 90 a bet. And everyone repping me. LOL.

Shootr - what's up dude, I was in a randomly assigned fantasy football league with you 3 seasons ago - what's going on!

That's because you disappeared. Remember?

Hey man, yep I remember that. I don't think I did too well in that league...

Jeez, my memory is for shit. I don't recall any of these mentioned.

I'm a lurker for sure, but I haven't been around very long... only ~ 3 years. I want to say American hero was a Donkey fan :-) and the only Chiefs bathroom incident thread I recall was the one where the drunk female fan got to use the men's bathroom's bathroom by showing the guys her chest...

3 sentences about me... I really like the Chiefs, second only to my Bears that I grew up with, and my new "dream" is to get to attend a home game at Arrowhead to hear "the home of the... CHIEEEFFFFFFFFSSSSS" :-). I live in St Louis (yes, I know, I'm living in a "good football"-barren land) and I work with children with autism. And I think for the Chiefs to win, Carl must go!

I've always thought it would be cool to have some sort of wiki with tales of ChiefsPlanet lore recorded with some of this stuff.

+1 for Lurker2 for the information, though the nice attempt is a foul tip.


The answers I'm looking for on the bobdole enounter is not the Joe Montana Story. The Ross Perot incident is the correct selection. The torrid tale speaks of a side by side incident, in which H Ross Perot stood next to bobdole at the urinal, and unleashed a blast of ass which shook his oversized ears too and fro. He did refer to him as "General Colon Bowel.

+1 Chiefs wigum

This thread is designed to let the old timers recall the old days and share some history, encourage some lurkers into the light of day, and share our history with the newer posters. Its the nexus of all that is wrong in the world wrapped up in 1 thread. Awesomeness shall prevail.


I'm still seeking closure and follow up on "danielle Seargent at Riverfalls" story.

The question is still up for grabs regarding the Death an appliance.

Gochiefs wants to know what he did at a urinal, and which nickname I bestowed upon him due to that incident.

The answer is unknown. I'll issue 100 bonus points to anyone that can tell me what truely happend to MrBlonde, even if its via PM.


The next question pertains to an incident involving a mini-mountain of discarded deciduous tree clorophyll conversion devices. How, according to Planet lore might one encourage misguided youth from driving through them? Which planeteer is responsible?

Huh?

Pile of leaves, skip...Pile of leaves. Not the pile of velvetleaf down in your outhouse either.



Next challenge question.

The All Idiot Team.


What is it, why was it created, and why is it funny? No answer valid without the name of the rival poster who initiated it.

Bonus points for naming 2 of that persons Chiefsplanet(star board too) rivals
Bonus point for that rival poster's real name.

American Hero incident explained

American Hero was indeed an Eagles fan from Philly, a hoity-toity attorney who came to the planet, started more than a couple of threads where he went far beyond talking smack about the Chiefs. He disparaged Missouri, the Midwest, Kansas City, the people, the women, the mothers, the buildings....everything. While the planet warriors unsheathed their swords and readied for war!!! American Hero threw down, challenged that noone could find him anyway. His email address was used to sign up for the username, and it was his buisness address. One of the planet attorneys looked him up in some attorney book/list and listed everything about him, short of his Mother's cervix size(which might have been 7cm) including business and phone numbers....We knew his gpa in college.

Someone, still unknown to me to this day contacted his employer in an unsavory moment in our history.

The guy came back with the apology thread you can find in the hall of classics today. It was potentially the most devestating, brutal act of barbarism in defense of Chief fans in the history of the internet. Daniel "American Hero"'s ass was indeed penetrated for all glory to be seen.

He likely still walks with a limp today after the foot placed in his ass.

I would like to use this opportunity to make my fifth post.

thestickboy.....MarkM's twin brother?

Side by side, you guys could get a job on Sesame Street on "number 11 day"


thestickboy +1(under 10 post contribution)

I know parts of this. The all idiot team was started by Packfan. Also known as Ken and Dienberg sticks out in my mind as his part of his name.

this thread needs to be broken down with tabs
I'm interested in the man from PA

An existential question. Would a TRUE lurker ever post in this thread?

I know the answer to Goatse's restroom question, but technically, I have too many posts to answer.