ChiefsPlanet - Chiefs Ten Things About Today's Game Week 17: KC 35 OAK 3

Ten Things About Today’s Game Week 17: Your AFC West Champ KC 35, Homeless Silver And Black Convicts 3

10. Congratulations to the Chiefs winning the AFC West for the third time in a row. That’s the first time this franchise has managed to do that. Congratulations to Patrick Mahomes who has thrown for 5,000 yards, 50 TDs and will probably be the NFL MVP. Congrats to Travis Kelce, who held the all time NFL record for tight end receiving in a season for about 20 minutes before he was bested by Kittles in San Francisco with 1377 yards (monster seasons by both guys). And congrats to Andy Reid for capturing the number one seed in the playoffs for KC for the first time in 21 years. KC ends up 12-4 and the four teams we lost to are all playoff bound; two from the AFC and two from the NFC. KC came in and took care of business at home to kick the shit out of a dysfunctional Faider outfit. So they got it done. Only lost one game at home to Phyllis, and did it all with essentially a rookie QB who got his first full tour of duty this year. And they did it losing last years leading rusher in the NFL after the bye week. All miraculous. That’s all great stuff and deserves celebration.

9. I was real sick earlier this winter. A few weeks ago I sold my seats to Big Red Chief here on the CP for this game. I’m doing better now. The weather today was acceptable for this time of year, but weeks ago, there was no way to tell. Mrs. B thought I should sit this one out. So instead, we went downtown and saw the Sunday Matinee of “The Book of Mormon” which was incredibly politically incorrect and hilarious.

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Then a quick lunch at Ponak’s for chicken fajitas. The game was on in the bar and the first play I saw live was Dirty Dan’s pick. I watched the rest of the first half on my phone, then saw the whole second half in my living room.

8. I remember when Chuckie knocked us out of the playoffs at the end of the 1999 season, rubbing Rich Gannon in our faces. Nice to paste his sorry ass today. Faiders came out with four consecutive turnovers on their first four drives -that’s a Faiders all time futility record. Carr looked like dogshit. Two picks -one for a pick six and one a near pick six- and a strip sack fumble. Plus he was sacked three times. His QB rating was 60.8. By comparison, Chad Henne was 97.9.

7. I’m so glad we showed Oakland our Henne. They can kiss my lemony fresh Henne! KC scored TDs, and I’m glad they got Mahomes out so they couldn’t put a cheap shot on him. KC scored in every quarter, and scoring 35 is right at their season average. No field goal attempts, and only one KC punt.

6. The Williams Bros rushed for a combined 82 yards on 22 carries and had one TD. It’ll be nice to get Spencer Ware back for the playoff push. The D gave up an even 100 yards to Martin, but he also fumbled at a critical spot early in the game to flip momentum.

5. Mahomes has two impressive TD passes, and although they were both long burners, both balls were a bit under thrown.
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Luckily both Hill and Robinson adjusted to the passes and made the best of it. The unsportsmanlike penalty on Robinson was ticky-tack. All he did was back in the last ten yards and raise his hands. No Fun League strikes again.

4. KC’s defense actually showed up for once and pitched in with a TD (could have had two) which was refreshing. #35 Ward with the unpronounceable first name (let’s just call him Red Dreads) had a much better game against a much worse receiving corps. He had nine tackles, and Kendall Fuller led the team with 12 tackles. We really missed him last week. Houston showed up, as did Dee Ford, and Alan Bailey played a much better game. Sorenson actually had a good game for the first time this season. Kudos to all. Giving up only three points to an Oakland team that’s played better over the past three weeks is worth celebrating.

3. KC helped swing the balance on TOP in the second half, but Oakland still had the ball seven more minutes. Chiefs only had four penalties, and one was the BS call on the unsportsmanlike on Robinson’s TD. Raiders had no sacks, so our O-Line did a pretty good job. KC ended up averaging around seven and a half yards per play, and put up 409 total yards, and that’s with baring our Henne for half of the fourth quarter. Hope the Faiders have a lovely off season and can figure out where the Hell they’re going to play in 2019. That’s got to be a bit of a conundrum.

2. So the guys in the locker room are able to put on an AFC West Champs hat for the third year in a row. But those hats mean nothing. History has not been kind to this franchise in Arrowhead in January. We’ve lost to most of the AFC here over the years. We’ve lost multiple playoff games -soul crushing losses- to Denver and Indy. We’ve been screwed over by Pittsburgh. Casshole got bitch slapped by Ray Ray and the Ravens. Marcus Mariota completed a TD pass TO HIMSELF just last year and the Chiefs got shut out in the second half. Grandpa Bob couldn’t hold a 17 point lead. So the ghosts are everywhere waiting to be exorcized. We get two weeks to heal. So please Andy, bring in a Snake Waving Faith Healer and have him lay hands on the feet of Eric Berry and Sammy Watkins. Have him put his hand on Spencer Ware’s shoulder. Have him grab Chris Jones’ groin just to be safe. I don’t know who we’ll be scheming for, but for GOD SAKE, please, a playoff win at Arrowhead. I just need some progress, man.

1. We’ve got two weeks to hash out all the fears about the defense, and who’s going to be the best or worst opponents. Look, it’s a new season and any team left in the big dance can beat any other team at this point. Gordon got hurt in the Chargers game today. I’d personally like to see Phyllis back here and get some revenge on his whiny ass. He’s 1-9 in his last ten games against us, so I like our odds against him a lot. I’d also like some payback on the Colts. But whoever we get, there will be demons to cast off. So whatever you do, as Hedley Lamarr once said “Go Do That Voodoo That You Do So Well!’

SEE YOU AT THE YARD IN TWO WEEKS, Y’ALL!