One Chapter?
WHAT KIND OF GOD ARE YOU?

Be careful what dialect you choose though. You go with a dung beetle accent and everyone will think you're just talking shit.

Do you have any concept of how many insect disciples I have? And they're all working on chapters of their own. At my last supper, I had over a hundred gnats and 200 ants, and that's not even counting the ones that were ground up in the strawberry jelly.

They were giants once they could be again. We will be their prey so smash them we can never be friends.

Yeah I watched the progression of earth thingy on here. I remember the giant bugs. Working outside I have pulled many ticks crawling or embedded in me they get the hot engine hood of the work truck treatment.

Sorry, I got a better offer from Satant

That's a fly by night outfit.

Not actual flies. Flies worship me.

Mothra, forgive them, for they know not what they do.


Look, this religion thing is pretty new for these guys. It's gonna take a while for the ticks to figure out this whole transubstantiation thing ok?

Soon that bug will be develop a following of other bugs after telling tales of an imaginary man that loves all bugs, he will be crucified for his beliefs about the greatness of this man and then for centuries the believers of this bug and his tales about the imaginary man will wait outside grocery stores and shopping malls handing out pamphlets that nobody wants.

Good news/bad news. The bad news is that you may be Beelzebub. The good news is that William Golding probably owes you millions in royalties.

There's only one problem with your theory - this bug, the one who received direct revelation of your existence, can't communicate with other bugs. Your stature as a supreme being will not last beyond its already short lifespan.

Furthermore, even if he can communicate, he's probably too embarrassed to tell the other insects that he got himself turned upside down somehow. That has to rank pretty highly on the list of ways for an insect to embarrass himself. It would be like getting your head stuck in a chair.

All Rain Man has to do is provide him with a little book and a tiny pencil so he can jot his story down. That should keep his swarm from doubting his word for at least a couple of thousand years, right?

What if I told you that Lazarus wasn't exactly dead when Jesus rolled by? Some scholars believe that he was a first century A.D. Version of the Life Alert lady and the King of Kings just gave him a swift kick with a sandal to get his ass off the ground.

Is your religion one where the bugs can depict you in drawings?

Graven images will only be allowed in the Eastern Orthodox branch. As popular 80s comedian Yakov Smirnoff explains: "In Russia flies draw you!"

https://i.imgur.com/oLT3BuD.jpg

I love this place.