Even in your sleep?

I doubt it. Maybe when I was young?

One of the benefits of admitting to cheating on your husband is that all future lovers tend to pee on you as often as possible.

And I sleep like the dead right after.

I'm sure this was already answered somewhere in here but did you raw dog him? That's the only real way to bang a tranny. Or anyone for that matter.

Umm... What?

Pee on = sleep with as much as possible in some quasi conscious way of marking their territory. As if any of it is their territory anyways. I only lease it out.

Don't worry - the Greeks were completely cool with this.

I think she means that figuratively. Hoping so, anyway.

Ah! OK.


Thank gods.


Yeah, I get that now. I was taking it literally and hoping it was an autocorrect thing.

LMAO

Jim Jones' blind date

http://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/2014/07/1...5/84200824.gif

yep, still cant figure that out?

Not hard to see who's the "top" in that relationship...

My ex psycho used to...jokingly?... offer me up for a carton of cigarettes at parties. And then beat the shit out of anyone that hit on me.

I only lease now.

Surfboard

Surf board

I think Jim Jones drank his kool aid. Thought of what he did must have crushed the man.

Or they are both in Vegas tying the knot with Reverend Elvis.

Sorry, I try not to judge, we are all damaged goods. Could you shed some light on your avatar and what it means to you. Not to be a jerk but what do you mean by leasing, seams self degrading.

He sure did!

Nah, don't worry about her. She knows what she's about in life, far as I can tell.

Holy Shit ROFL Nobody knows I post here, my family and friends would have me committed. It's just too entertaining.

Yeah, I know it's CP, shouldn't have asked, sometimes my heart gets the better of me.

My wife lurks under my account sometimes.

I was pissed at someone driving the other day and she said she hoped they'd get AIDS.

Oh boy. The lease word came because of the territory word. My viewpoint on ever getting married again is quite clear. Even if my poetic nature isn't.

The av has been on CP for every year except perhaps the first one. No one would ever know it was me posting if I changed it. But you want dirt, no? It was the funniest gift I'd ever received. It's also a good reminder to me of unintended consequences.

And I am not damaged. I am free.

No, I didn't want dirt, sorry I said anything.

lulz

The last thing I need is Mrs. Blowfish lurking on the CP. Thankfully, she thinks this site is basically an open cesspool.

I once banged Tommykat.

Oh my GOD I hope my wife doesn't lurk here. I tell her the funny things but she would melt down if she read this thread.

My wife said she read a similar thread to ****ing a tranny on redditt at work one day. I didn't ask any further questions.

I freaking LOVE Pam, and did not even realize it was her.
Older Pam=Hotter Pam

Great commercial. :)

Behind the washer?

Good girl. Way to be.

So did Jim Jones ever re-surface? Did he go back for seconds?

Beach tribe needs to share more funny tranny stories.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Y3l0jVBmYRU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

ROFL ROFL - I miss Conan's Walker lever.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/zo1kNGGEle0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Looks like this thread has lost its burst. Any more juice to be pulled out of this chestnut?

If it falls off the front page fast again I'll move it to its new home with the creme de le creme in the Hall of Classics.

Meh. I'd wait a few days. You never know, he might marry it.

I want to believe. ...

Just no honeymoon pictures please.

Nothing stand in the way of "true love", not even a penis.

http://itsalwayssunny.wikia.com/wiki/File:Carmen.png

Would you?

We're gonna need an update, Jim.

Jim is done. He changed his Internet provider got a new ip addy and is posting under another name now ! lol

At this point you have to assume every n00b from here on out is Jim Jones.

Brittany Daniel is ALL WOMAN!!!

FTR if I was Mac I'd still would

I might go tranny for that... Damn. Hanging junk for sure?

More likely Jim is chained to the wall of that tranny's sex dungeon.

UPDATE: I have not re-dipped my cawk in those uncharted waters... but the tranny sure is putting up a good fight. Really wants to meet up for drinks again. I am being evasive but not outright saying no. Don't plan to do it again but feeling "wanted" is kinda fun.

wait, lmao

nope, nevermind

this can't be real

haha

Jesus H Christ :facepalm:

Pics or your gay. Calling this bs now. Either way you are not right....

There has already been pics lol

Before or after?

Wow, how did I miss this little gem? It's just common courtasy to warn a man of penis competition before starting to make out. That's a good way to get hurt. Not sure which one would take the beating but I can only imagine it's got to be a helluva suprise finding out there's a dick attatched to those tits.

KY

:spock::shake::facepalm:

Never change.

Mr. Rucker have you ever touched swords with another fella?

You're "wanted" because Lola is gonna want you to return the favor on the next date. Pucker up, buttercup. He's gonna liquor you up and make you think it's the fourth of July in Coney Island, and you're starring as Joey Chestnut!

She's got the looks that kill!
http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k1...psa50f1c06.jpg

As soon as I saw the thread that's the first thing to pop into my head.

"Yeah, but...here's the thing guys...here's the THING!"

So it's a good thing your partners sleep with a number of people before/after you?...:hmmm:

Yeah, same here, Rauschslice.

Oh shit here we go...

He,s baaaaaaack!

I gotta ask? Were balls slapping together during this encounter? Also did you take it Butt up? Did it look like one those bulls bag trailer hitch covers. And was there any vomit?

Thats all.

You seem very interested in the details.

I gotta admit, I'd like to know if he got the tranny off. He said he finished on her butt, but did he return the favor? Even a little handy or something?

He did say ask me anything.

I went to a party at a tranny named India's house, who obviously had a thing for neatness. Wild Fn scene, man.
Mo'nique was there.
India started to come onto me, so I had to inform her that I was straight, to which she responded "no shit" (lol called him she) and acted pissy as if I was in the wrong by basically telling him to stop wasting his fn time.
So, here's where it gets good.
India starts making drinks for everyone, and has one for me along with an apology for not respecting my boundaries.
Before taking a drink Man'ique leans over and says, I saw her put GHB in that shit, boy.
I was mortified at what would have happened if mo' hadn't been lookin' out for me.
So I went to the kitchen and did an ol' switcheroo, ditched the dirty dick date rape drink, and promptly went to India and thanked him for the deeelicios beverage, ("Oh. My. God. It is So Good. So Good") and downed it in front of him, much to his delight.
Bout' an hr later I started playing all fked up, and said "you mind if I get something to eat from your kitchen?" India: "make yo'seff at home baby"
I went into the kitchen and started grunting "hongry" grabbed the peanut butter and an un-sliced loaf of bread and started smearing peanut butter all over it, the counter, the fkn drawer knobs, fridge handle, EVERYTHING. Slinging the knife loaded with peanut butter around. Reached in the cabinet, stuck my hand in the back and drug everything in them out all over the place. Grabbed a gallon of milk out of the fridge and started killng it and spilling it everywhere. I ****ED SHIT UP and said, "I'm not feeling so good, I have to leave. Knocked over some shit, knocked some shit off the walls on the way out and bolted.

This story could have had a totally different ending if it wasn't for Man'ique.
I'll be cool w/ that mfer till the day I die.

So cool with her, in fact, that you're intentionally making fun of her name. You're a classy dude.

This shit happens er'day.

So long as I get a clean bill of health, I couldn't possibly care less.

I guess it would be unfortunate if a guy had so much sex in his life that he was blase about our encounter. But I don't tend to play those kind of odds.

Gimme a fn break with your over sensitive pussy shit.
You never **** with your friends, poke at em', call em' names and shit?

So, I can't do it to him, why?
Because of yor PC sensitive, pussy BS?
He'd probably have you dancin' like a punk once he figured out you were all "don't bring up his......condition, Martha"
Trust me, he don't need you defending him one bit.

Fuqattahrr

Sure, I poke fun at friends... Over inconsequential bullshit. I don't make fun of my friends for their life circumstances, and certainly wouldn't make fun of a trans friend by calling them the very gender that they're trying to transition from. That's pretty douchy.

Ever think that maybe he just wants to be treated like everyone else, and not have to have people dance on egg shells, and watch what they say because of who he/she is.
Mo'nique had accepted who he is, and didn't give a ****. This was long after the story I told earlier, and we were on that level.
He used to call me bumpkin, and banjo and ask me when me and my sister's baby was due. To which I would respond "about the same time as your period"
So, kiss my ass.
He would seriously have you feeling like the white couple at a def jams comedy show. "don't laugh, Martha. They're looking"

Hey Jim you gotta keep us informed here don't slack off.

Was any butt sweat involved?




















































That 1000

got any special moves?