Tell us about your weirdest or dumbest car damage.
 

This is partly inspired by frozenchief's eagle grill, but also by something I saw yesterday.

I was walking in downtown Denver, and I heard a horrible scraping sound. Looking around, I caught the back end of a guy generating ridicule fodder for the rest of his life.

There's a hotel under construction at a tight intersection, so the sidewalk has been closed and they've got those big concrete jersey barriers all around it.

https://www.crowdcontrolwarehouse.co...g?v=1674055667

One of the construction workers was in a company pickup, and he cut the corner too sharp leaving the intersection and caught the edge of the barrier. That was a bummer, but then he doubled and tripled down.

For some reason, he gave the truck more gas, and the barrier started dragging down the side of the truck. Then it got to a flared wheel well and got stuck. So the guy gave it more gas. I and some other pedestrians waiting at a stop light were wincing, saying, "Back it up, dude. Back it up."

The barrier completely caved in the side of the truck, and for some inexplicable reason the guy kept trying to accelerate forward. Eventually, he actually pulled the barrier out into the street, blocking half a lane, before it let go of the truck. Then he sped off.

Now, it was late in the day, so maybe his coworkers didn't see it. But maybe they did. And I'd also be willing to bet that there are security cameras on the job site, and someone's going to check on why a 1,000 pound jersey barrier was pulled out onto the street. So this guy had to show up to work today with a company truck that is completely caved in, and he's going to have to come up with a story about why it's caved in. And if he lies about it, he's going to have to gamble that the whole thing isn't recorded on a security camera that his own company put up. Talk about screwed.

Career Darwin Award winner, some people are too stupid to be employed.

My two odd car damage stories:

1. Back when I had the apricot BMW, my wife drove it to a little shopping district and parallel parked it on the street. When she was walking back to the car, she saw another car stop and try to parallel park in front of it. Somehow they were so far off in their distance judging that they backed into the apricot BMW. But not the front of the car. They backed their car up and hit the side of my car BEHIND the driver's door.

2. Once when I was younger, I was stopped at a stop light at a busy intersection. I was many cars behind the light, so nothing was moving around me. I was just sitting there. All of a sudden - BOOM - something nailed my windshield hard enough to break it. It took me completely by surprise. Then about three or four seconds later, a screwdriver dropped from the sky onto the top of my hood, after presumably ricocheting off my windshield. There was nothing moving anywhere near me, so I have no idea how a screwdriver hit my windshield with so much power.

19 year old me, 6 months after buying my Pontiac Trans Am. Middle of the night. Streets a little damp. Mudvayne pumping through the stereo so im amped as ****. Sitting at a stop light to turn left, light turns green. Maybe im a little TOO pumped, hit the gas, back end of the car slips out and i lose control.

I end up putting the car into a mortuary. I called the mortuary in the morning to confess my sins. Lady tells me had i actually penetrated the wall (wasn't far from it btw) that i woulda had dead bodies on my hood.

A priest tried to cross a busy street in his Toyota Sienna. He didn't notice me in the lane driving and hit my RX7 in the rear quarter panel. I got out of the vehicle and walked over to the Sienna with some anger. As I open my mouth the guy gets out I then notice he's a priest. In my nicest voice I say "Hello father are you ok"?

One of uncle Ernie’s goats climbed up on my olds cutlass and chewed the vinyl roof.
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I was walking on the sidewalk in Ocean City Maryland with friends when I was living there for the summer while in college and seen a person go the wrong way into a parking lot exit where they had the retractable spike setup.


Four flat tires at the same time has to be pretty painful. I think I'd take the eagle over that one. At least with a good yank you can still drive and you know whoever was driving was from out of town.

I was poor and 22 years old. Drove a Honda Civic that I paid $400 to get me back and forth to my new job.

I was sitting at a red light and heard screeching, then BAM! Ugh. Took my breath away.

The girl jumped out of her car and apologized. She said she was lighting a cigarette and wasn't paying attention.

She also told this to the police officer. So, her insurance settled for $1100. Drove that Civic for another 6 months before upgrading.

I once decided to run the entire length of my Pontiac Grand Prix down the side of one of those concrete pillars that holds light posts up in parking lots.

I was about a dozen beers deep leaving the bar when I was 22.

Out in the middle of nowhere miles from anything I drive a pickup over a pipe sticking out of the ground that began to spew natural gas. It was super loud. I got out and ran for my life. Later my pissed off boss walked up started it up and drove it off. How the hell did it not blow up? We are talking a mid 80s pickup. I think he was just too much of an asshole to die. Apparently… so was I

I was 17 and my 64 Barracuda was already my second car as I had pretty much trashed my 57 Fury, my first year of driving.
Had blown two transmissions and had to rebuild the motor after throwing a rod.

Bought some "mags" second hand for the Barracuda but didn't have the money for the deep reach lug nuts needed, so I made the short reach stock ones work.

Doing a "peel out" as we called it back then, the left rear wheel broke loose from the few threads that had caught with the standard lug nuts and caved in the lower part of the quarter panel while dropping the drum on the ground.

I closed the garage door while I still had the hatch door on my '99 Mercury Cougar up. Scratched the shit out of it. I'd had the car for about a week. :#

The grand prize has to go to my ex MIL. She once backed through the garage door while it was down. LMAO

Back when I was in my twenties, I was sitting at a stop light and the same thing happened. I had a great 1979 Toyota Celica Hatchback (loved that car), and it was really solid so there was no damage. But I remember getting out of the car and the woman who hit me got out of her car, and she angrily yelled, "You scared me to death!" I had been completely and peacefully stopped when she hit me.

I've had more weird things than dumb things happen. Offhand, the only dumb thing I did was when I was sixteen and had just started driving. I left my job at Dairy Queen and set my Mr. Misty on the dashboard for some reason. I was at a left turn signal and made my left, and the Mr. Misty bowed to centrifugal force and started sliding quickly toward the passenger side. I reached over to grab it and lost control of the car, jumping up onto a pretty tall curb. It was scary, but I recovered and went home.

A few days later, my father went to move the car in our driveway and came back saying, "Why are the brake lines torn loose?" I told him that I had no idea.

Sneaking under the barrier at Lake Jacomo to drive down to the amphitheater at night and drink. Scraped the shit out of the top of my mom's Camaro.

I've hit 4-5 deer over the last 40 years but nothing caused more damage to a car than when I hit a coyote. It hit the passenger left front and pushed the wheel a foot into the fender. Car was undriveable. I told my body guy I couldn't believe the damage it did and he said it in a very explainable way, a coyotes is all muscle, it's like you hit a 45 pount bowling ball going 70 mile per hour... Then it made sense.

Senior year of high school I hit a turkey one morning on the way to school. It was in some tall grass on the side of the road. As I drove by, it took off with a short turkey flight, right into the windshield on the driver side. The glass exploded everywhere, covering me and my friend that was riding with me.

A turkey...after I just fixed the car from a deer a few months earlier.


I've never met another person that hit a turkey.

Late November my wife hit a deer and totaled her car. After wrangling with the insurance company, in January I took a day of PTO to go start looking for a car for her. On the way I was passing a semi on the interstate and he decided to change lanes and completely side swiped me. Took my breath away. Every piece of body on the right side was damaged including both wheels.

My dad hit a turkey while I was in the passenger seat. He was driving fast as hell as usual somewhere in NE KS and the ****er did the exact same thing you’re talking about. Glass spiderwebbed and went all over us.

It was a good size Tom too. Would have probably killed me if he came all the way through.

This would have been 1994. Driving home from my first X-ray job in a northeast, KS.

Driving on a some extremely dark highway near Effingham, KS I crest a hill see a shadow (of a person it turns out) and in an instant hit some giant ****ing thing. Barely kept the car on the road as there was no shoulder on this two lane state highway. Thought somebody left their transmission in the road. Turns out it was an 800# heifer. It had been hit in the other lane went over this guys truck and plopped down in my lane. The shadow I saw was the truck owner trying to wave to me to slow down.

Never had a chance. Shook me up pretty bad. Got out of the car and stepped on the molars of that bloody carcass. After about 15 minutes the ranch owner shows up with a front loader, picked it up and away he went. Had an area of fence down and several of his herd just wandered out. Range laws… what ya gonna do? Totaled that car. And it was a great car.


Was actually driven home by the Kansas State Trooper who came on the scene.

You are fortunate not to have been injured in that one.

Scared the bejeezus outta me, Ed. Was sore as hell for weeks from the seatbelt snapping me in.

Only been in one little wreck. I was behind a couple people at a red light. The light turned green and we started moving. I turned to look at a hot blonde walking down the sidewalk and the cars in front of me stopped because the car at the front was one of those people that has to stop, prepare a 4 course meal, eat it, and then make the right turn. It was still totally my fault though.

Oofta. I can see how that would happen. I was driving home on the blacktop one totally dark night and all of a sudden realized there was an Angus cow standing in the middle of the road. I missed it but can't imagine actually running over one.

I bet! Good thing you had it on! I imagine the shoulder harness was tested and left you a reminder of the incident as well.

In 1973 my dad let my brother and I shoot the doors on his 66 Chevelle SS with 22 rifles.
We had spent the afternoon plinking in the woods and when we were wrapping it up he made the suggestion. 10 and 12 year old boys say yes to that kind of suggestion.
We each got two shoots on our selected door, windows rolled up and clearly instructed not to hit.
We felt so cool returning to the neighborhood, showing the bullet holes, bragging a bit.
Wish I had that car now.

Was getting a blood draw and when I came out, there were people standing around my car. Some lady forgot to put her car in park (left it in neutral) and it gently rolled up against the car in front of her. When that car left, her car rolled about 50 feet, making a slight right turn in the process, to roll into the back of my car. Got the whole thing on video and was even one of the clips on the "Wham Bam Tesla Cam" youtube channel.

Caused about $7,500 in damage, paid by her insurance.

I was drunk. My muffler fell off. I went back to get it and hit the muffler. Left a big dent in my door. Really stupid.

I guess a blown engine counts as damage. This is from an old post of an even older story.

In December of '85 the ex-wife and I headed back to Missouri from Norfolk in my '77 Monza. The car was on the brink of death, but we were planning on trading it in on a new car when we got back. Driving through the Appalachians in Virginia and West Virginia, the car was going about 40 mph up the mountains and 80 mph down the mountains. Finally we got to Charleston, which is exactly half-way, filled up with gas, got back out on the interstate, and as soon as the car got above 30 mph it started lurching and sputtering. We pulled over at a gas station, but it was the middle of the night and there wouldn't be a mechanic there until the next morning. We had almost no money - we slept in the car that night. The next morning, the mechanic delivered the bad news - blown engine. I remember his exact words - "There's no nice way to put this, you're ****ed." We ended up selling the car (luckily I had the title with me) to a guy that worked there for $100 and a ride to the bus station.

This is where the story gets weird.

While we're waiting (the bus didn't leave until 3:00 p.m.), one my wife's teachers from college just happened to stop at that gas station. They too were on their way back to Missouri from Virginia. The teacher was driving their family car, and her husband was driving a rental truck. They agreed to give us a ride home. So, we get past Lexington KY and the goddamn rental truck broke down. Luckily we had the $100 we'd sold the car for to pay for a hotel room that night. Finally the truck company fixed the truck the next day, and we got back on track. Finally arrived at Kirksville exactly 60 hours after we'd left Norfolk - made the return drive in a new car in 14.

Can't believe the "what an idiot" gif hasn't been posted yet.

Love your stories RM. A true CP icon and treasure.

The first time my 01 Jeep was stolen was around 2012. They found it a couple days before the 30 day window where insurance pays out. MFers stripped all the wiring out of it.

I thought for sure insurance would total it but the wiring harness was only a couple hundred bucks so it was all labor cost. Took the shop 3 months to get it rewired. The guy absolutely hated that job. I'd call every week for a status and he'd rage about what a PITA it was.

The couple years after while I was still in KC every time I drove by his shop I'd lay on the horn and wave.

It was stolen again a few years later and a 3rd attempt was made after that. I'm still rolling it like a maniac to this day but its got all kinds of electrical gremlins. Sometimes all the instruments will go out and I just pound on the dash and they come back on. Sometimes the windows work etc.

I also had a '78 Cutlass stolen which I found myself and took back. The steering column was ripped out, smelled like Newports but my golf clubs were still in the trunk.

I also had another G-body stolen and stripped in KC but thats all I'll say about that one.

I was walking down this sidewalk one day and where those 2 yellow posts at the entrance of the lot are, there used to be 2 large boulders

As I was walking by some lady floored it backing out of a parking space and high centered herself on one of the boulders. Like the car was balancing on the rock with all 4 wheels off the ground

Its the reason they removed the boulders and put up the posts (probably sued the city)

Theres also a guy in there lurching around that will boot your car if you park and step one foot off the lot

https://i.imgur.com/Nm7LodE.jpg

Raises hand. On 54 between ElDorado Springs and Collins.

In high school I was driving my first car, a 1974 Ford Maverick Grabber. We weren't allowed to leave school grounds once we arrived, but a lot of people would leave for lunch. One day me and a female student bailed out to get high at lunch. I was doing a turn around in the post office parking lot and some woman backed out of her spot right into the passenger side of my car. I stopped and got out, walked around the back of the car and only saw a slight dent in the rear quarter. At the time, the girl I was with had opened the passenger door and was leaning out looking back. The damage was barely noticeable so I told the lady not to worry about it so I could get back to school on time.

Later that day, as I'm walking out to my car to head home, my friend who rode to school with me is standing by my car asking what the hell happened. The passenger door was caved in from where the woman hit me. I never saw it because the chick with me hade the door open when I walked around the car from the back.

That was fun explaining that one to my parents.

That's some serious redneck stuff there.

****in goats
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Mine was light blue 🥰

Another one was wen I was driving my dad's 1970 F-150. It had snowed and we were doing donuts in a parking lot. I decided I was going to drive the truck over a pile of plowed snow. When I did, the battery (which was not tied down) bounced out of it's tray and into the fan blades. Pushed the fan into the radiator which then tore up the radiator. I told my dad I hit a patch of ice and slid into a curb. He bought it and took the heat since he hadn't secured the battery. He still doesn't know the truth to this day.

I remember once when I was young and really sick. Drove to the dr's office and when left, I drove over one of those concrete parking stops. Car was high sided, stuck there. Don't remember how I got it free but it sucked.

A few years ago, my son was the manager at a Papa Murphy's location. His area manager told him to take some supplies to another location in town. It was icy that day so he should have told his boss to get bent. But he did it and for some strange reason, rather than taking main streets, he chose to go through an area of town called Potwin. That neighborhood is full of big roundabouts and brick streets (gotta maintain the historical bricks....blah, blah, blah). He came in a little too fast and slid right into the roundabout and totally messed up the bottom end of his car. It wasn't a nice car or anything (can't remember which car he had at the time....might have been the late 90s Nissan Maxima) so it wasn't really worth trying to fix it. But he had called me and told me he wrecked it into the roundabout. So, I came over to check the damage and help him get the car moved out of the way.

While we were trying to get my son's car moved, I could see in the distance another car coming. I started waving my hands in the air trying to get them to slow down but to no avail. We had managed to get my son's car out of the middle of the road right before this but the 2nd car did the exact same thing. Slid on the icy bricks and right into the roundabout. That car was a nice newer Volkswagen Jetta. And right after it hit, I saw oil coming out from underneath. Yeah, he busted his oil pan, for sure. And who knows what else?
Ice on bricks is the worst.

FYP

I just remembered another one.

In 2010, my oldest son, who was about 17 at the time, was working and being responsible and wanted a new car. His best buddy's sister's bf worked at a rental car place and they had a 99 Acura TL they were selling for about 3K. It only had about 144k miles on it. It had all the extras (leather seats, gps, etc.) and was still in good shape.

So, we got the car and all he had to do was make payments to us until it was paid off. He absolutely fell in love with that car. And honestly, I was kind of fond of it, myself. So, 6 days later we are getting packed and ready to leave town for a camping trip to Colorado. His cousin was going with us on this trip. She lived in Virginia and just flew in to town that day.

So, my son, a couple of friends, and his cousin are all driving around in his new car. Well, you know how teenagers are not the best drivers because they lack experience and don't always pay enough attention? Yeah, that's pretty much what happened. He ran a stop sign and hit another car going 30-40mph. Totaled his car that he hadn't even had for a week.

On the bright side, insurance paid out about twice what we paid for it. So, the remaining money was used to buy another car (after the Acura was paid off). He ended up with a 97 Nissan Maxima. The boy was devastated but it was a good life lesson, I'd say.

I worked at an auto parts store on Hickman Mills Drive back in the early 80's. There were two entrances to our parking lot, with a small ditch separating the two. On the side of the ditch facing our store, there were several wooden posts to keep cars from going into the ditch.

Someone leaving our store one day was driving a station wagon and backed over one of those posts. They kind of pushed it down at an angle towards the ditch. When they pulled forward, the bumper caught the top of the post and straightened it back up to the point that the rear of the car was now partially lifted off the ground. The rear tires were barely touching and all they could do is spin the tires, creating a cloud of smoke. It was hilarious. We had to go out there with a hydraulic jack to lift the car and get the post out from under it.

Not a lot of damage to the car (I think it was an early 70s Chrysler Newport), but my buddy was driving it and I was in the front seat with him and another guy was passed out in the back seat. About 2am and we’re on a country road heading home. We come into a 90 degree turn that the driver fails to negotiate and we wind up in the ditch taking out 3 metal fence posts.

Buddy manages to pull the car back up to the road and takes off. We get about a quarter of a mile and realize we’ve got a blown back tire. So we stop and stumble around and jack the car up and attempt to change the tire.

While we’re doing this, we hear something strange coming up the road behind us…pretty soon our friend that was passed out in the back seat comes stumbling up the road towards us. I guess when we ran off the road, the back door came open and this poor ****er slid out of the car! I’ve pondered to this day how he never broke his neck!

We went back and fixed the guys fence the next day. Somebody was always driving through it.
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i was parked in the lot at the post office, and i had had a particularly draining day at work

i was parked right in front of a lamp post

turned the engine on and gunned it and it put a huge ****ing dent in the side of the front wheel well LMAO

put the car in reverse first, dummy

Good thing the guy woke up. It would be disconcerting to wake up the next morning in a ditch in the middle of nowhere.

This also reminds me of the common wisdom that you never buy a house that's at the end of a T intersection. Or if you do, you buy a bunch of boulders from Hog's Gone Fishing and put them up.

There's a house about a block from me that's on the corner of a normal intersection, and a year or two ago someone tried to make a left turn too fast and plowed into their expensive wrought iron fence. I bet it cost a bunch of money to repair. Now there's a huge boulder at that intersection in front of their fence. Problem solved.

Back in 1979, I was getting ready to head home for the holidays but had to stop by a friends apartment, before hitting the road. i was driving a 74 corvette and had parallel parked in on the street in front of the apartment complex.

Prior to leaving my friends apt, I stepped into the bathroom, did my business and started to leave. My buddy comes through the front door of his apartment, white as a ghost and says "Man, somebody just hit your car"

I go outside and my car is about 60 feet from where it had been parked. it was knocked up over the curb and the entire left rear quarter panel was gone, along with most of the back bumper and rear deck fiberglass. The dude that hit my car was standing next to his.

Guy was drunker than a skunk. Cops showed up but could only write him up for public intoxication. I ended up having to take a Greyhound bus home to my parents house to make the Christmas holiday.

I finally got my car back from the repair shop 6 months later.

Leaving LA and a moving truck hit my pickup literally 5 minutes before leaving. Left truck in shop and caught a flight.

Oh shit, I almost forgot about a story involving 'shrooms and a drunk chick. I'll have to post it later, I don't have time to write it up now.

i can in 3 years, when the statute of limitations has passed.

I had a work truck stolen.

It was gone two weeks. Got it back and some tweaker had cleaned it cleaner than it was when it was new. Dunno what kind of vacuum and detailing brushes he used.

I like to think my work truck went on a 2 week vacation, got super high and gacked out on crank.. then came home and went back to work

When I was in high school (would have had to have been around '96) I worked at the local pool. One day I came into work & parked on the side of the pool in a lot that was on a hill. I got out of the car, closed the door & started walking in. One of the girls sitting the lifeguard stand starts yelling my name & I turn around to see my car rolling across the parking lot. I took about 2 running steps before I realized I had zero chance of catching it & getting in it to stop it so I just decided to wait & see where it went. It hit a ditch, jumped over the road went onto the yard across the street (thankfully missed the house) & rolled into a field & hit literally the one telephone pole in the middle of a field.

I do have one other story although it goes in the "holy shit how did you not just destroy your vehicle" category. We were adding onto our house. The contractor was there doing some digging with a track hoe & when he finished he went to load it on the trailer. He had his truck backed up my driveway which was on a hill. He pulled the track hoe onto the trailer & when it stopped the momentum somehow broke the stop on the parking gear of his truck & it started rolling down the hill. So at this point he's on the track hoe on the trailer just along for the ride. My driveway aimed directly at my neighbor across the streets house so he's riding down my driveway heading right for the house across the street. Somehow his truck went between 2 very close trees & stopped in the ditch in front of the house. The trees were so tight that he had to crawl into the window to back it back out of the ditch. His truck didn't have a scratch.

At the county fair in high school, one of the "parking lots" was basically a grass field at the bottom of a hill. I must have parked at the far end because when I went to leave that night and it was dark (no lot lighting of course), I for some unknown reason decided to keep backing up unnecessarily after I swung out of my spot. Car started sliding down a small embankment. Backed straight into a wet marshy area and car wasn't going anywhere at that point.

Told some fair worker my situation and that I don't even know if a tow truck would be able to get me out and I'll come back tomorrow to deal with it. Next thing you know they bring down a big ass tractor they use for pulling back the sleds for the truck pull event, throw a chain on my shit box 84 Camry and yank it right out. Was pretty hilarious to see the water draining out the doors and all the weeds and crap hanging on the bottom of the car as it comes out.

Surprisingly that car lasted me half way though college for how much I abused it.

We were cruising down a backroad in the 70 Dart with hood scoops and came upon a covey(?) of pheasant. They wisely took to the air to get to the field and we thought we hit one. When we got back home we looked all over the front grill etc looking for him but didn't see anything, no damage either. We took back off and started smelling something, maybe singed feathers, so we stopped again opened the hood and didn't see anything under it then noticed some feathers sticking out of the hood scoop. Sure enough that pheasant had went into the driver side scoop and stuck there. No damage but certainly weird.

I drove a light blue '71 Maverick in high school. It was my parents' second car. They monitored my mileage and limited me to 15 miles per night.

It is ridiculously easy to disconnect the odometer on a '71 Maverick. :evil:

I have hit:
fox
skunk
squirrel
jack rabbit (Easter Weekend)
raccoon
opossum
pheasent
garage door
black cat (near corning Iowa, if any of that belonged to anyone here- Hwy 148)
bent a door back on a car
ran over countless worms

Been hit by 2 deer

My first car was a little orange Datsun with a four speed stick

It had belonged to the daughter of a former state senator who retired in my town, and she had recently went off to college with a new car

Not long after buying it I gave it a bath, hosed out the trunk etc

Couple days later this thing is stinking like a sewer, I'm talking about BAD... searched all over for what was causing it and couldn't find anything

Tried all kinds of air fresheners etc that didn't do a damn thing, it just kept getting worse by the day... so I finally got super cereal about it and decided to tear the - seemingly empty - trunk apart

So I lifted up the little plastic cover that went over the spare tire well, and instead of finding a spare tire... I found a well that was packed SLAM FULL of what looked like rabbit shit

And to top off her dirty little trick she had placed a shiny silver dollar on top of it, right in the middle :cuss:

Didn't get much use out of it after that because a couple months later I was out running around when it started overheating, so my 16 year old dumbass went straight home and put cold water from the hose into that hot engine block... and yep, it cracked :cuss:

It's never affected me but I hear crazy horror stories from friends and colleagues in Texas about hail damage.

2014
https://www.ketv.com/article/woodhou...-storm/7138137