What is the relationship like between you and the parents of your significant other?
 

Do you have challenges that are pretty stereotypical or is it a pretty great connection.

It was great until they came to visit and her mom was a huge bitch to my wife. I snapped at the mom, they left, and I haven't said more than 50 words to them in about 2.5 years.

I’m lucky... Mine consider me a son and I treat them like a second set of parents..

How did the wife feel about it? Sorta stuck in between?

Their relationship was ice cold for over a year. Then wifey got to feeling bad because her parents are super old and probably won't be around much longer so she made up. In true fashion within that family... they just act like the blowup never happened.

Wifey understood my position within the whole thing so she wasn't angry or upset at me for my reaction.

Dealing with some challenging parents. They are nice folks they really are but they are also very insular and hard to connect with. Not having many conversational threads is generally not a challenge to me as an outgoing person. It's hard to sort through it just being who they are or if there is something deeper to sort out.

Always been good. Felt they were demanding early in our relationship.

Her mom died in 2003. Sometimes I am more than a son to her dad than her own sons are.

The woman that her dad is married to now.....well.....best left unsaid.

My girlfriends dad fixes my car and I raw dog her mom. Works out pretty well.

I struggle with my mother-in-law on a daily basis but she lives with us, so I wouldn’t call the situation “normal”. And honestly, it’s much more difficult for my wife than it is for me.

I’m sure they are perplexed and disappointed but they’re nice enough to have never expressed that to either of us.

Damn. That's tough. I'm sure you are doing a lot of good things to help her out and should be commended but damn

I’ve snapped at my MiL several times. It’s amazing what you can get over when you HAVE to. ;)

Imagine living with someone who can’t take care of themselves but not only won’t acknowledge that but won’t desist from trying to help YOU.

I’m not going to talk bad about her because I do love her to death but I’ve seen her do things that would result in death if one of us weren’t there.

She not only acts like that stuff doesn’t happen but she’s all too eager to tell her 40 year old daughter how to manage her money or raise her kids.

Maddening. You are good folks.

It’s a learning process brother. I once told TwistedChief the story of when I took in a couple struggling with heroin addiction and the boyfriend stole my car and totaled it in the middle of the night. They ended up moving out but I never said a word to him out of anger. For sure told him I was disappointed but 15 years ago I probably would have shot him in the spot.

Father in law passed a little over 20 years ago. Hardly got to know him. Mother in law is awesome, couldn't ask for anyone better.

My father-in-law passed 10 years ago, June 18th. Obviously that precipitated the current situation. I only got about 10 years with him but it was enough to fill my memories for a lifetime.

I've never met any of the escorts' mothers so I've been lucky, no issues.

My GF's mothers however have been a variety of nosy pushy bitches that I didn't care for.

I got 6 good years, and then a year of watching him getting his life robbed from him by pancreatic cancer. Guy was VP at Creighton University. He did end up with a building named after him so there's that...

Thinking about now...I hope my three son in laws don’t think the wife and I are dicks...ROFL

Both are passed quite a while now but I think my FIL thought that I was the son he wished he'd had. All his kids (including my war department) had rough goes at various times so he sold me the family place for what he'd owed on it, 40 cents on the dollar, just to put it in a stable name. I've honored his wishes. As far as my MIL, I loved her dearly and I could see where my spouse got some of the crazy from.

Ok, that's funny

I have a very good relationship with my MIL an FIL. Really nice people. For my FIL this is his 3rd marriage, one marriage ended up in a divorce, the 2nd one his wife died of cancer. His kids from the previous marriages are a complete cluster f*** though. Holidays at their house are interesting. I just grab a beer, sit back and watch the fireworks show.

:LOL: I'm pretty sure that's the approach most people take when it comes to family gatherings.

My inlaws are cool, but my father in law thinks I drink too much.

Meh, could be worse.

My girlfriends dad is one of the wisest people I know and he's really easy to talk to and get along with (huge Bills fan and loves all sports). Her step mom is very opinionated and and hard for some people to get along with, but she likes us because we don't take her bullshit seriously.

Her mother died of a glioblastoma before we met but she is still close with her step father. He is a really nice guy and also easy to talk to, but he really likes talking about himself. It can get annoying, but he is a lonely guy so I'm fine listening to him.

All around I'd say I like all of them and they like me. No problems.

Now my ex father in law...a much different story.

Wife's parents are older. I think her mom liked me better than she did her daughter, LOL. The father was an odd duck (he was a retired engineer and still wore a pocket protector) but was a nice enough guy. But after he died there have been some monetary/inheritance issues (let's just say the other child is the favorite son) so we haven't talked to her much in the past few years.

The business of inheritance is a curse on so many families. It’s just sad.

Yeah, let's just say the wife is getting screwed and not in a good way. I just don't understand why parents can't be fair when they account for things.

Fair is kind of subjective. In a lot of cases fair is not equal.

My in laws are really pretty good to me. But they’re infuriating. They’re in their 70s now and it seems like everything they do is just to be a pain in the ass. I’m 100% sure it’s not malicious, but at their stage in life, objective analysis is gone, critical thinking is waning, and their brain/mouth filter is malfunctioning.

I have it pretty good overall.

Mil is all right
Kind of a black widow
Marries dudes and they die
We get along though
I ain’t ever married her
sec

Well, they're dead, so...


While they were around, I got along great with my in-laws.

They're great. Nobody has ever had better in-laws than me.

They love me, too, my better half says that if we ever split up they'd want to keep me instead.

My relationship with my mother-in-law is good, but not as good as the one I have with my step-mom.

My wife's parents are divorced, her mother remarried, her father didn't

The father and me get along like we've known each other an entire life time. We are similar in some ways as well. It is one of those father in law, son in law relationships you hope to have from the get go.

The stepfather is a great dude and we've always gotten along but the Mom calls the shots and pretty much tells him how high to jump on a daily basis; So him and me while we get a long great, you can feel the tension in the room because of my relationship with the mother in law. The mother, we used to get along a lot until a few conversations/debates of her trying to pry into my own families life (my wife and children) and over stepping her boundary's on hundreds of things and trying to cause problems between me and my wife (saying bad things about me to her that she sees as red flags) has eventually led to what is now a not great relationship. I used to treat her like a second mother and really tried to show her I looked at her in that way, but to her, I was and always will be an outsider that infiltrated "her" family.

LMAO

MiL lives with us. We do ok. Comes across entitled at times for someone that lives here for free, but she does most of the housework.

I still have a pretty good relationship with my ex-mother-in-law.

:LOL: Good ole sec humor.

My in-laws have passed away, but we got along well. I think we had maybe two conflicts in nearly 30 years.

My wife's in-laws are much more problematic.

Mother-in-Law can eat a dick.

Pops is cool.

FIL was an ok guy till he decided to screw his kids and never said a word and they found out when the dirty **** died. MIL was a saint and now is in a home with Alzheimer's



Dont trust any family. You get screwed in the end.

Billay's parents are fine people.

A few stories of inheritance here. That will be another thread.

Dude this is my exact situation minus about 15 years on the FIL death.

definitely a win regardless. she cook dinner?

The wife and I were married when we were 20 and 18. When we announced our engagement the MIL told my wife if she got pregnant before the wedding there would be no wedding. I went to college while she mostly supported us. 16 years later we bought an acreage and built a house. We lived with the in-laws during those months because we sold our house to put up the money. I would work half days at work and then work on the new house until dark. When I would get back to the in-laws her mom would always have supper waiting and ask me to make her a colorado bulldog which was the only times I ever saw her drink alcohol. We became good friends. Unfortunately she passed away with pancreatic cancer 4 years later. That was 20 years ago.

I know some cases are hopeless but don't be the first to give up on a relationship with the other family.

Started dating my wife when she was 15 and I was 17...she was preggo less than 2 years later, and her mom understandably was going to **** me in the ass with a lawyer dick big enough for an elephant to feel it...her dad was oddly less hostile. That was 30 years ago or so. Since that time, I guess they figured out I was going to stick around...heh.

I get along with them and love them very much. They have their quirks, and sometimes they irritate me, but I'm sure that's reciprocated. Generally, I can count on them and they on me.

My inlaws are great people. Divorced. Mom inlaw is the kindest gal in the world and father in law is starting to battle dementia. My wife is better at sitting down and talking to my parents than I am.

Honestly this thread is making me rethink how much time I make to see the inlaws and my own parents. Topeka and Wichita are not that far away. Little over 5 hours if I drive it like I stole it.

Good advice. I think we are all in the stage of trying to get a feel for one another one dinner at a time it seems.

First wife's parents: oil and vinegar

My SO's Parents: I'm the son they never told anyone they had

Never met my FIL - wife cut off all communication before we started dating due to him being a cheating asshole.

MIL never emotionally recovered from the divorce and is not financially equipped to be able to retire any time soon (she’s 62 now). BIL is not capable of supporting her, so I know at some point MIL is going to have to move in with us. Not looking forward to it. I like her and enjoy seeing her (oddly enough, even more so than my wife - I’ve just always valued family) , but we usually get a bit testy with each other after more than a day or two together. The problem is that we are too much alike. That’s to say, type A, matter-of-fact, outspoken, judgemental, know-it-all’s (who really don’t know-it-all...). Two of us simply can’t exist in proximity. We’ve never acknowledged it and just let the tension hang for the sake of being family. It’s a weird love, but I guess that’s typical of in-laws.

My in-laws are cool as can be. They are in their late 60's and both have 7 siblings each. Out of all those siblings they are the only siblings without grandchildren. I changed all of that this last weekend by introducing them to their first grandchild. Their other children probably won't have kids. They've been cool since day one and always supporting their daughter with what can we do to help!

There is some slight drawbacks but nothing I can't handle. Their from China so they have these superstitions. For instance tonight I was cooking dinner but my MIL brought over dinner (to see the new grand kid) and she mentioned how my wife can't eat beef or lettuce for a month after a childbirth which was exactly what I was preparing. No biggie as I can save that and my wife didn't mind eating MIL meal. Basically lots of wives tells. I recently helped my FIL fix his cars AC for $50 after his go to shop said he needed to spend 2k. He liked that.

Past girlfriends parents were so so with me so I understand guys who say their In-Laws are not pleasant.

I get along great with my in-laws on most anything except politics. They have finally come around to my way of thinking when it comes to term limits, but we are opposites on every other aspect. I just find a way to leave the room when they are going on one.of their rants.

Thankfully, politics is not their life so we don't have these moments frequently.

Mine are really good people.

They have been very helpful and generous over the years.

That still doesn't mean they can't annoy the ever living shit out of me!

They have 4 kids, all very responsible and successful, but man the family isn't very close, everyone does their own thing. We get together for 1 holiday a year, Christmas or Thanksgiving. My family is really close and enjoys doing stuff together (we are all meeting up in Breckenridge this week). It's so foreign to me. I talk to one of my brothers like once a day. My other brother once a week. My wife avoids calling her siblings, even on birthdays, and instead ops for a text. WTF?

You scare me as something tells me you don't have a vacuum pump, no less a flush kit or real gauges.

Did you buy the prents too or were they in the deal?:hmmm::hmmm::hmmm:

I've never had a conflict with either of them.

Of course they died before we married 34 years ago so there's that.

Same.

Ones possibly addicted to meth and the other an alcoholic lol

They live 1,200 miles away so it's prefect.

I don't have time ATM to go through my in-laws and my story. I will leave this here though, don't give up too quick, which I think is what Zach is questioning. I will follow up later when I get some time.

He’s dead
We were cool
She’s still kicking...just left the house.
40 years
I guess we get along ok
Bitches about my driving constantly
sec

I never knew my FIL because he died wen my wife was in high school. My relationship with my MIL was chilly at first, mostly because she expected my wife (the baby of the family) to move back to the small town she was from after graduation. That wasn't going to happen. She died about 7 years after we were married, but she treated me like all the other in-laws. I got along with all her brothers and sisters. In fact, it was one of her sisters that introduced us.

Oh, good Lord, you poor guy.

I love my MIL but there is no way. I would be going crazy.

My in laws really didn't like me when my wife and I first started dating back in high school. I was the bad influence. Over the years, though, they have come to really appreciate me and I them. We have a great relationship.

Foursomes?

My relationship with my in-laws was fantastic. When my FIL passed in 2007 it was the first time I cried (I was 37) when I lost somebody close. This includes my 4 grandparents. Several years later I developed a torn disc in my back and started going to pain management. My wife has Lupus and she was in pain management as well. I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to guess what happened. I ended up addicted to them. I would use all mine and then steal hers. It got to the point where she was going to live with her mother and taking the kids. Needless to say, I got clean real fast after that.

How does this play into the in-laws you might ask. Of course her mother and sister, rightfully so, wanted her to leave me. By the Grace of God she didn't. This has been a lot of years ago and I still feel uncomfortable going there.

TL : DR - My relationship with my in-laws was great until I became an asshole and ruined it.

Can't/won't say I love them, but I enjoy spending time with them. I don't think they hate me..... but shit, I'm a car salesman, how much can they really like me? All kidding aside, as long as I am good to my SO, they will be happy.

My BIL, however is a pure joy and I absolutely enjoy every minute of his and his wives company.

This. I have a wonderful relationship with my in-laws.

They are dead. I didn't kill them however. We had a great relationship

I hit the jackpot. If I had a complaint it's that they are too nice and my fil won't let me help him much because he has always been very independent in his farming.

They're great and would be welcome to. Ice in if they needed to do so or I'd put up a small shop/MIL apartment on my place in a minute.


My pro tip....I've thawed a lot of early ice over the year by working or doing a task very early on. Mow the yard, scoop the snow, trim the trees, clean up storm damage....do the dishes or something.