A new service for you: The Chiefsplanet Doomsday Nuclear Clock
 

Updates:

September 29, 2009 - Tyler Thigpen gets traded: 11:42
November 17, 2009 - Dwayne Bowe gets suspended: 11:51
December 06, 2009 - Matt Cassel gets benched: 11:52
December 13, 2009 - Matt Cassel throws quatro intercepto after benching: 11:53



There's way too much panic here for a situation where we've got new management and a new coach coming in. We've only had three games in our first season of the new regime.

To better guide people on when to panic, I'm proposing a Chiefs' variant of the Doomsday Clock that's run at the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists.

If the clock hits noon, then it's time to panic. The closer it is to noon, the more you should worry. If it's 15 minutes off, then we're relatively safe in the big scheme of things.

Okay, you ready?

The Chiefsplanet Doomsday Clock is currently at:

11:58

With a new regime in place and a new coaching staff in place, and with three games played under the new system, there is no cause for panic. In fact, this is the furthest from high noon that this clock has been since the end of the 1997 regular season.

I'll update this periodically unless I forget about it.






Past clock settings:

Prior to kickoff, 1960 season: 11:30
Prior to kickoff, 1965 season: 11:35
Prior to kickoff, 1970 season: 11:30
Prior to kickoff, 1975 season: 11:44
Prior to kickoff, 1980 season: 11:51
Prior to kickoff, 1985 season: 11:58
Prior to kickoff, 1990 season: 11:55
Prior to kickoff, 1995 season: 11:47
Prior to kickoff, 2000 season: 11:52
Prior to kickoff, 2005 season: 11:53
Prior to kickoff, 2010 season: 11:57
Prior to kickoff, 2015 season: 11:50
2016 postseason: 11:42
End of regular season, 2017: 6:00 p.m.
Prior to kickoff, 2018 season: 2:00 p.m.
January 16, 2019: Clock has been dismantled and reassembled into a music box that plays Rock and Roll Part 2.
August 14, 2020: Clock parts were melted down and reformed into a nice stand to hold the Lombardi Trophy.

We probably should just go with a color coded system like the terror alert setup.

Some want to believe
Some have been burned too many times
the rest don't care enough to watch

You'd think a big ol' fancy clock like that would have an alarm so you wouldn't have to worry about forgetting. A clock like that should even have a snooze button and FM radio.

Fire em all/idiot moron reeruns

I'm on Eastern time, so it's already way past noon.

I would say that this clock should be a Rolex but knowing the Chiefs, it's probably a ****ing swatch with a dead battery.
Posted via Mobile Device

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_TDVcMdWCBg...experiment.jpg

Go ahead and increase the voltage. /Pioli/

No, no. It's a rolex. An old, broke dick rolex that will not possibly tick until 12.

And on the back there's an inscription:

Hugs, Grandpa

11:44

just kidding, it's still 11:43

right, Rain. ... Man. ??

You're right. That's worked well. Why don't we get secret police to kill anyone who disagrees with anything Haley or Pioli does?

And I'd say we're a little closer... we're not better off than we were in 95-96 season... god damn the kicker who must not be named... I like the idea, but I'd say we're at 11:50, or that 95-96 must be lower than right now.

Hey now... those are functional. We can't have that.
Posted via Mobile Device

Does anybody really know what time it is?

Does anybody really care?

Shouldn't it say PM on it? It's supposed to be Midnight.

Yeah! It should actually be 23:43.

Get with the ****ing program Rainman. Jeeze
Posted via Mobile Device

Who watches... the Rain Man?

At first glance, I misread the original thread title ... accidentally left out the letter "L" out of the last word. I was expecting the worst.

Tyler Thigpen gets traded for a draft pick:


11:42

My theory is that this is a countdown to implosion. Right now, I don't think we're close to implosion because we've had a bunch of change and relatively few people are in implosion mode. In 1995-1996 we had a pretty strong team with 2 13-3 records in the past three years, but with a couple of punishing playoff losses, so I think we weren't close to implosion, but there was some frustration starting to bubble.

This is all open to debate, of course.

I would like to thank you, Rain Man, for this service you are providing the good people of CP.

I suggest that you update the OP as well so that significant changes in the time will not become lost in the inevitable ensuing debate.

:LOL:

It's pronounced Nuc-u-lar.

When Herm blew that game to the Chargers at Arrowhead last year, he turned into a pumpkin.

:fire:

Dwayne Bowe is suspended. Doomsday Clock moves to 11:51.

It didn't move with THE TANK being traded? Or Haley's 'burning sensation' getting worse?

I can tell already, ....

This is going to end up exactly like the B-2 simulation.

And the Chiefsplanet Offseason Odyssey...and the Mecca trial....

Somebody is more ADD than I am...

l i n e l l i o t doesnt going by daylight savings time

And the Haley dance gif...

More of us will be stuck in POW camps in Germany? :eek:

The only correct move is not to play.

Shall we play a game?
Posted via Mobile Device

11:59:59

we're all just gonna die

I was going to go with the "Cassel Suck-O Meter", but then I realized I don't care enough about him to invest the time necessary to create it.

LOL there are a bunch of kids looking at this thread wondering WTF the nuclear clock is.

Who doesn't know what the doomsday clock is? Everyone presumably graduated from high school history.

Okay, I'm going to move the clock to 11:53 after three or four games of Cassel stinkage and the Cassel benching.

You would be amazed.

Just curious, what would it take for the clock to got to 11:59? A last game season loss at home to Denver to finish a 0-16 season?

That might do it. I think it would take a lot to get to 11:59, because that's "crowds marching on Arrowhead" crisis time. Maybe if Haley beat Jamal Charles with a baseball bat on the sidelines, or Pioli frames Brandon Flowers for murder.

Actually, any loss to Denver might do it, too. Perhaps it was good that I didn't pull this thread up last week.

What if chunks of Arrowhead start falling and hitting people in the head?

If it's the brick you paid for, I'm suing you personally. I'll know, because it will have your name on it.

****, you bump this thread last week and the hands would have spun right the off the clock.

Probably depends on the people, to be honest.

"Do it come with Bluetooth"?:)

How about updating this clock Rain Man?

It will hit midnight on draft day when we pass on RGIII and Barkley

I think we're at about 11:57 now.

LMFAO

and now?

Holy shit this is amazing....

We have to be at like 11:55 or 11:56?

I think this is around 11:58.

what would make it 12:00 for you? the team announcing they are leaving? QB being passed over in the first round?

12:00 would be the end of the franchise as we know it, yes (IMO)

Like them moving to LA

A team move would definitely be 12:00. A QB being passed over might be at this point.

Benching Cassel moves it down, too. It might only be 11:57 now that I think of it.

The ACL injuries of 2011 had to add a minute or two,Berry & Charles a minute each

Cassel being Benched couldve subtracted 2 minutes but perhaps Quinn & Stanzi as backups might've added a minute

I wasn't around KC football in 85. Were the fans then really angrier and the team worse than we are now?

12:00 will be gay butt sex.

That's where I draw the line.

There pretty much is no worse team than 2008-2009, so that would be a no.

Passing on a QB would be very close to 1200 but not all the way. 1159

The power just went off at my house, can you come help me set my microwave and VCR bro?TinkyWinky

ROFL

11:59?

I will never let this thread die. Update this shit with your wisdom Rain Man.

I updated the Chiefsplanet Doomsday Nuclear Clock with the 2010 and 2015 pre-season settings, and also the current setting (at the bottom of the OP). 2010 was dangerously close to a complete conflagration, but we're currently at the safest place we've been in a long time. The Chiefsplanet Doomsday Nuclear Clock currently stands at:

11:42.

To answer your nearly 4 yo question, with the Royals riding a decade of playoffs and a pending WS title, and the Chiefs being nothing burgers since mere months after I was born, the Chiefs were a bit head shake more than anything.

The Chiefs in '85 were a bit like Woolco and Woolworth going out of business.

The Doomsday Clock has now been updated as of the end of the regular season in 2017. It's 6:00 p.m. It's supper time.

HA HA....NICE RETRIEVE!

Don't you mean it's currently... 2 PM?

I really blew an opportunity there, didn't I?

You really did.