I saw boobies once.

I saw a girl with 3 boobies once. It was an Applebee's/ Chili's kind of place in Columbus OH. during happy hour and she was proud to show them to me, right at the bar. I thought my buddy was going to cum in his jeans

I was at Blue Moose in PV on a Saturday afternoon and 2 gals pulled their sweaters off and wanted opinions on who's new bolt ons were better. I was afraid my GF was going to get weird on me but she didn't.

I've been very fortunate to have had met some wonderful woman and eventually had sex on vacations when younger meeting woman from all over; Cuban in Havana, Brazilian in Rio, New Zealand hottie in Fiji (she sadly died in her 40's from cancer), Chinese in Beijing and an Australian in Australia.

I never slept with any hotties in Germany, Italy or Amsterdam.

The best sex story I've ever had was when the Playboy Casino in Atlantic City sent two women to my room after I won close to $15,000. I needed to get some sleep as I worked nights in the newspaper business as a pressmen and had driven there straight from North NJ after working a few back to back shifts.

They asked me what I needed and I said a simple room with a clean bed for a few hours to sleep as I was exhausted. They asked me did I need anything else; food, drinks, tickets to a show and I jokingly said "no I'm all good but you can send up a couple of hot women." The guy grinned and said if that's what you want it will be taken care of.

I said sure thinking he was bullshitting me but after taking a shower and starting to fall asleep there was a knock on the door and two pretty damn hot women were there for me courtesy of the hotel. All I did was tip them after we were done.

I was pretty nervous at first but once the clothes came off I lost my inhibitions.

Definitely a worthwhile adventure! :D

The best sex story I have with me NOT getting laid was that I fixed up Wade Boggs the night the 7th game of the 1986 World Series was cancelled due to rain and he was at the NY Club called Heartbreak. He was with Spike Owen and Marty Barrett and also Tom Cruise and Cher were there that night.

A hot blonde was dancing all night with me and my buddy and I kept telling her how great a baseball player Wade Boggs was. She never heard of him.

Then at the end of the night when me and my drunken 4 friends were all getting into our limo, he got into a cab with her! My friend never forgives me for giving away a hot blonde.

I had an on-off girlfriend.
I was out of town working so she thought she’d surprise me by buying satin sheets for my water bed. All installed.
Well I got home early and went out and hooked up with my ex. I was still in love with her.
I took her to my place, done the deed.
Well the gf shows while the ex is here but only knocks and leaves.

Ex leaves and current shows up.
She went down on me right away and all I thought was, “oh shit, oh shit they same women can smell other women right away.” Nothing, lol.

She later turned lesbian, lol.

Some stories are of the "Pictures or it didn't happen" variety.

Other's were simply overlooked but were probably discreetly listed on the detailed statement when checking out from the hotel.

About a month ago I was checking tinder and had a unique match and you can bet your ass I swiped right. It was your girlfriend.

It turns out you never listen to her and she is an aspiring rapper who wanted me to call her by her stage name...the Notorious P.I.G. Tuesday morning I met her at a reasonably priced location that I hoped didn't have bed bugs. We shared a couple of Busch Lights and talked about her love of the Broncos before she flopped in the bathtub of instant mashed potatoes she warmed in the microwave a box at a time. Upon her request and after she paid me, I dumped a couple of boxes of generic beef gravy on her while she made squealing noises as I used a set of vintage ringing pliers to embed a couple of rings in her nose. I barfed on the floor and left feeling unsatisfied.

if i peruse the nsfw threads on here does that count as sex

ROFL

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Before I was married I loved to have sex with married women. I viewed them as the best **** buddies. They didn't tell, they didn't swell. If they did swell they wouldn't tell so oh well.
Make sure that her husband is actually out of town when using her house and bed. Husband will approach from behind with a gun and try to shoot you. Even grazes remove tissue and hair.
If you get into a fight with him make sure he doesn't have a knife. He will try and stab you in the dick and ball region when you are over the top of him.
Living in a smallish town there are few judges. So when you have to go in front of the Judge about these situations in less than a years time the Judge will give you some advice. It is best to follow his advice.

****ing your mom in her ass

So whos head was in the sand ass up? Hope it wasn't you for your sake.

That never happened. Virgin.

not sand...thousand island dressing

you've never lived until you've experienced asphyxiation via midgets and thousand island dressing