32. PGM
http://i.imgur.com/PLz5WPt.gif
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF PGM
05:30- I woke up. Went to the bathroom. Urine was an odd shade of purple. Need to make a mental note to call the urologist after I update the OP of the roast thread on Chiefs Planet
06:30- Breakfast! Ate the rest of the leftover bologna and cheese sandwiches from dinner last night. Had some time to dust the clear plastic cases containing my pro wrestling action figure collection before work. Didn't update the OP.
07:15- Left for work. Camaro looked positively radiant this morning in the garage.
07:45- Arrived at work. Heard a co-worker in the hall talk about Kansas basketball. Addressed the situation by reminding co-worker that he is a "beaker." Walked back to my desk with a triumphant look on my face. That showed him!
08:05- Logged onto Chiefs Planet. Checked out the new posts from last night about food smokers. Laughed at a fart joke posted by bevischief. Didn't update the OP.
08:30- Got a PM from the list maker of some new names to send to SNR. Sent them along, but didn't write them accurately, leaving SNR to frustratingly have to look up each name on the member list to get the correct numbers after the name as well as making sure that some names with spaces didn't have underscores. Continued to browse Chiefs Planet on company time, blissfully unaware of the huge waste of time it is for SNR to have to look all those names up just so he can write a goddamn roast about them. Didn't update the OP.
08:42- Had an overwhelming feeling that I'm more important than I actually am to this Top 101 Poster thread. I'm totally clueless and don't really realize that I'm actually ****ing worthless to this project. If I actually thought about it, I would reflect and discover that my one role in the production of these roasts is to serve as a middleman that makes getting the new names from the list maker more inefficient than it really should be. It could be incredibly easy to just hook SNR up with the ****ing listmaker, badda bing badda boom, let the good times roll. Nope, I've got a ****ing job to do. It's very important! And I'm only talking about the job that I actually take seriously... my one ****ing job that has VALUE to the thread and to this project... just ONE ****ing job... is to take a roast that SNR or another roaster puts out and paste it into the OP of the thread. That's it. That's ****ing it. I'm on the goddamn ball whenever writes a roast. I'm there to advertise the new roasts and leave comments to get people talking about them. Wouldn't it be ****ing easy at that point, where after I've read the roast, to just edit the OP and copy and paste it right ****ing there just MOMENTS after the roast is published? I wouldn't have to bitch like Phobia on one of his "Modding's harder than you think!" periods. "I have to look back pages and pages to find all these roasts?! I have a life, you know!" Guess what? SO DOES ****ING SNR! GOD, SHUDDER TO THINK HOW LONG IT TAKES HIM TO NOT ONLY COME UP WITH SOME OF THIS SHIT BUT ALSO TYPE IT OUT IN A WAY THAT IS NOT ONLY COHERENT BUT ALSO LOGICALLY FUNNY! He's a lucky son of a bitch. He doesn't have to update the OP like I do. I'm a ****ing Chiefs Planet hero is what I am. I'm doing this solely for the entertainment of hundreds of loyal Chiefs fans who just want a distraction to all the pain and misery that Kansas City sports has caused them over the years. When I feel like it, I will give them a clean and updated OP! The sun must shine out my ****ing ass! I'm not going to approach this insanely simple task efficiently and promptly, I'm going to make a big fat ****ing deal out of updating a simple ****ing OP of a goddamn thread to make people think I'm important! I'm PGM! I started this thread and made it impossible for SNR to just edit the ****ing OP himself! I even ****ed him over just by joining this ****ing place as PGM and ripping off the 3-letter username that he had championed for YEARS before I ****ing knew what Chiefs Planet even was! YOU LUCKY BASTARDS DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD I HAVE IT OR THE BURDEN THAT I BEAR BRINGING YOU THIS KIND OF QUALITY ****ING ENTERTAINMENT! ... Went back to work, didn't update the OP.
16:40- Almost time to clock out, so I checked up on Chiefs Planet once more before I hit the road. Somebody called Clay a virgin, and it was so funny that I blew hot coffee out my nose. Monitor's kind of dirty, but I'll just hope the janitor cleans the computer monitors. Didn't update the OP.
17:25- While stuck in traffic, I thought of different themes that everybody could change their names to that would be hilarious. We already did wrestlemania. That was probably the coolest moment of my life. The meatball thing is kind of funny, but it's not as popular. Hmm... blue collar comedy tour? Crazycoffey always kind of reminded me of Jeff Foxworthy. I think this has potential to add burst! Thought about updating OP when I got home
19:00- After dinner, watched quality television programming on CBS, America's most watched network!
21:45- Went to bed. My last thought before drifting asleep was that I forgot to update the OP. Oh well. Had a pleasant dream that Knowmo wasn't a ****tarded bitch and a terrible human being who rapes dogs. In my dream he actually did what he said he would do and stayed away from Chiefs Planet the entire year, sweetening even more the single good thing I have brought to Chiefs Planet in almost 10 years of posting.
