Originally Posted by dlphg9 (Post 15279146)

My fiance suffered from Postpartum Depression after our 2nd kid. She had never had depression before that and had suicidal thoughts, but never acted on them or anything. She contacted her OB and they told her to go to the emergency room, so I took her. The way she was treated there was such a load of shit. She had to be escorted to a room by security, had all of her possessions locked up(phone, clothes, purse) and all they did was have her Tele health with a psychiatrist and the psychiatrist would decide if she got to leave.

They almost didn't let me stay, but we had a 3 month old that needed breast fed, so they reluctantly did. She wasn't allowed to leave her room and if the psychiatrist decided that she was a danger during a ****ing video conference they could have kept her their against her will. We sat in that room for 5 hours waiting for the psychiatrist to make the call and she talked to her for 15 min and said she could go and they set her up to see a psychiatrist. Then we sat another couple hours waiting for them to discharge her. I started calling the front desk every 5 minutes asking when we were gonna be let out because it was close to time to pick my kid up from school. I was livid over the whole experience, but kept my mouth shut because I didn't wanna piss someone off and then they decide that my fiance needed to stay.

She didn't even want to go because she had read horror stories about how mothers with PPD were treated like criminals because they were looking for help and wanted to get better. The lack of any type of comfort or sympathy was ****ing sickening. These stories are way to common and it's a deterrent for these women to get help.

Were about to have baby number 3 in as little as 3 weeks and it scares the shit out of me that she will get PPD again. I won't see her treated like that again. Hospitals are supposed to be sympathetic towards the people that they are caring for, but most of them have the same type of protocol for a mother with thoughts of suicide. She didn't have a plan or anything. Was not a danger to anyone or even herself and she told them that she was just having the thoughts and had no intentions of killing herself . She just wanted to not feel like our newborn was better off if she wasn't around. I ****ing hate hospitals.

Originally Posted by Fish (Post 15279269)

I had to kick down my dad's bathroom door one night when my sister was trying to cut her wrists. She'd been hooked on pain killers and just couldn't climb back out of the hole. Fortunately the cuts were mostly superficial. She had to be admitted, and yeah it was really ugly to see. The way they treat those people in need of mental help was just appalling.

We have a mental health issue in this country that is bigger and more important than many people want to admit.

Originally Posted by TLO (Post 15277746)

I found out today that a good friend of mine from high school committed suicide last night. This has never happened to someone I knew closely.

I'm not sure how to process the emotions I'm feeling.

Originally Posted by Rasputin (Post 15279129)

Antidepressants to keep you from killing yourself side affect "may cause suicide" . Irony at it's finest.


I'm pretty much in the same boat you are in i think. I didn't want to go because I knew it be a giant bill for me to pay. I wanted to jump out of the car the girl that was taking me was part of the reason I was having issues and she was lecturing me on the way there. I opened the door I don't know if i was going to jump but it shut her up.

Originally Posted by vailpass (Post 15278253)

Kill yourself.

Originally Posted by Pitt Gorilla (Post 15279846)

Fascinating to see that common courtesy/sense can't stop you from being you.

Originally Posted by ChiefsFanatic (Post 15279151)

I hate when people tell me that being happy is just a choice, and if I decided to be happy and cheerful I wouldn't be depressed anymore. People who have never battled depression really don't believe in it, even if they say they do, and talk about it like an informed person, deep down they don't believe it exists.

I know that in today's culture, it seems like everyone has accepted that depression and mental illness are real, and a real problem, but if so many people without mental illness really believed, there would be a much bigger sustained push to make mental health a priority, with taxpayer funded programs making access to mental health care possible for everyone who needed it. And there would be a bigger push to include adequate, important training for all law enforcement who, because of the lack of accessibility for mental health care, end up dealing with people in the public who suffer mental illness.

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Originally Posted by Fish (Post 15279269)

We have a mental health issue in this country that is bigger and more important than many people want to admit.

Originally Posted by ChiTown (Post 15279355)

100% agree. We need a greater focus on mental health in the US. People take this stuff for granted because we assume life should be easy for everyone. Fact is, it's tremendously difficult for many people, and we tend to blow it off as "they'll be fine". And as you allude to in your first paragraph, we are woefully deficient in how we treat mental illness - it's damn near criminal.

Originally Posted by Pitt Gorilla (Post 15279846)

Fascinating to see that common courtesy/sense can't stop you from being you.

Originally Posted by Coochie liquor (Post 15278348)

Lost my son almost 10 years ago to suicide. Worst feeling you can ever have. Never gets better, you just learn to live with the pain and put on a mask to hide it from the world. People cAn say they’re in a better place now, but **** that. The best place is here with me. My son was 11 days from his 17th birthday. Still cry about it when the feelings surface and I can’t make them go back. Sorry for your loss bro. If you need someone to talk to I’m here for you. Can’t tell you how to make the bad feelings go away, but I can tell you if I made it through that, I think anyone can. Bless Up TLO.

Here’s a video I made for my son if you’re interested.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/zWoyr7jU6Gc" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Originally Posted by ChiefsFanatic (Post 15279151)

I hate when people tell me that being happy is just a choice, and if I decided to be happy and cheerful I wouldn't be depressed anymore. People who have never battled depression really don't believe in it, even if they say they do, and talk about it like an informed person, deep down they don't believe it exists.

Originally Posted by burt (Post 15279947)

I have never experienced depression. I simply don't understand it. I have also never seen Peru, but I believe it exists! I also don't believe it's a choice to be or not to be.

Originally Posted by ChiefsFanatic (Post 15279981)

I am sorry for generalizing, but I was just sharing my experiences. Thank you for believing that it's not a choice. I don't know this for a fact, but it just feels true, that everyone battling depression has been told to cheer up, or just choose to be happy, by someone who otherwise loves and cares about them.

Originally Posted by htismaqe (Post 15279990)

I've done this to my own daughter, despite suffering from mental illness my entire life.



It's really easy to do.

Originally Posted by ChiefsFanatic (Post 15279981)

I am sorry for generalizing, but I was just sharing my experiences. Thank you for believing that it's not a choice. I don't know this for a fact, but it just feels true, that everyone battling depression has been told to cheer up, or just choose to be happy, by someone who otherwise loves and cares about them.

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Originally Posted by ChiefsFanatic (Post 15280003)

That's why I said they were told that by someone who loves and cares for them. Before my depression got out of control, I am sure that I said it to someone who was suffering.

Now I just let them know that I am there for them, to listen, or just sit in silence, but together. When someone expresses to me that they are battling anxiety, or depression, etc. I let them know that I am sorry they are experiencing those issues, and that I battle those demons as well, and will help in any way I can.

When I was younger, I literally made up a persona, who was cocky, and an asshole, and lived as that persona as often as possible. Because that persona didn't have depression or anxiety.

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Originally Posted by ClevelandBronco (Post 15280073)

And when something tragic happens, we wonder why we didn't see it coming. We wonder if we could have done something to prevent it.

But because we were satisfied being acquainted with the persona, we never bothered trying to know the person.

Love + connection = life

Fear + isolation = death

Not exactly the same thing as suicide, but we see that same simple equation time after time after time in mental illness/addiction and recovery.

I feel compassion for all of you who are a part of this sort of crisis in any role. Get help. We know that we're social animals. For that reason, sanity and insanity are contagious on some social level. Let the herd protect you until you heal and become strong enough to help protect the others.

Originally Posted by ChiefsFanatic (Post 15278504)

As a person who survived a suicide attempt, I know that all the pain that led up to the decision to end my life, suddenly stopped once I made the decision that decision. I experienced the most calm, peaceful feeling the entire day leading up to it.

Before I actually made that decision, when contemplating whether or not to do it, I always worried the most about all the people that I would hurt if I did commit suicide. Those people are the real victims of a suicide.

Unfortunately, depression plays with your mind, and soon you convince yourself that no one will actually care that you are gone, and with that the last obstacle is gone.

To people hurt by suicide, I would say that it is not your fault. Don't blame yourself for not seeing "the signs" or not knowing that your friend was suffering. The proverbial cry for help that we see so many times in movies or television isn't always an actual thing. I would say that as horrible as it may sound, your friend is no longer suffering, and while you are experiencing the pain of loss, your friend experienced worse for a long time.

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Originally Posted by ChiefsFanatic (Post 15280075)

Did you see my post near the top of this thread?

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Originally Posted by eDave (Post 15279886)

Originally Posted by ClevelandBronco (Post 15280122)

Even worse than convincing you that the survivors won't care, depression will even convince you that they'll actually be better off without you.

Originally Posted by htismaqe (Post 15279922)

That comment was already moderated. There was zero reason to call further attention to it.

Originally Posted by ClevelandBronco (Post 15280073)

Get help. We know that we're social animals. For that reason, sanity and insanity are contagious on some social level. Let the herd protect you until you heal and become strong enough to help protect the others.

Originally Posted by Buehler445 (Post 15279222)

Jesus Christ.

My wife had PPD with our first kid and of course didn’t tell me or anyone else about it until years later. Like your wife she wasn’t suicidal towards herself or the baby, just unhappy. This story horrified me. I can’t imagine how someone in our wives shoes would feel in that situation.

Congrats on the 3rd kid. Hopefully PPD doesn’t come back. It didn’t for my wife with the second kid.

Originally Posted by htismaqe (Post 15279908)

Yep.

And it's far more complex than just throwing some meds at the problem. In fact, in many cases, throwing meds at it makes things worse, not better.