Email request from the top:

Seriously? IT'S A ****ING TELEPHONE. It's that thing sitting on your desk that makes a noise once in awhile, and has pretty much the standard components of EVERY OTHER ****ING PHONE YOU'VE EVER SEEN. When it makes a noise, pick up the handset and say hello. It's even nicer if you identify who the **** you are and ask the caller how you might assist them.

If you want to make a call, USE THE ****ING NUMBER PAD. If you need an outside line, press 9 first, JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER ****ING POST BRANCH EXCHANGE PHONE YOU'VE EVER USED. Its primary capability is that it facilitates communication between you and someone at a remote location! Pretty ****ing sweet, huh?

And no...IT WON'T SEND A FAX OR MAKE YOU ANY ****ING SMARTER, BECAUSE IT'S JUST A ****ING PHONE.

If you aren't bright enough to figure out any additional features available through pressing the CLEARLY LABELED BUTTONS OR SOFTKEYS (which more often than not, result in MORE CLEARLY LABELED SOFTKEYS), you're probably not ****ing bright enough to use them without bothering me every ****ing time you feel the urge to use them, so pretend they aren't there. If you have enough time to sit and ponder all the spiffy things your phone might be able to do, YOU CLEARLY HAVE TOO MUCH ****ING SPARE TIME AND SHOULD FIND SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE TO DO.

Did you send the e-mail?

No, but they might get Bob Dole's "How to use your phone" Powerpoint that he put together a couple of years ago when someone asked him to hold a training session about using a telephone.

Self-check out at the grocery store. Next person waiting in line? Please, wait for me to pick up my receipt, grocery bags and depart BEFORE walking up behind me so that you can have your turn. I'm relatively sure that I could easily kill you with a 5lb bag of ****ING potatoes. Or even a half gallon of Rocky Road ice cream. At the very least, I will rend and torture you anally with a fresh corn cob.

Thank you.

:spock:

How much does your company pay? I really feel like I could excel there.

I'm sorry. I don't care if you are one of the owners of this place. Just because your three year old is too sick for daycare does not mean it's cool to bring him to work with you. Especially when you are on the phone in your office with the door closed, and your son is getting into everything, slamming doors, and coughing on everything!

I am not in a good mood.

And have no baby sitter at moment... My wife is still sleeping...

Wake her ass up WTF?

bevis needs to apply the pimp hand.
Posted via Mobile Device

WTF? Someone seriously brought their sick kid to work with them? :spock:

I'm very glad to see this thread.

I'm trying to rent my apartment, and since it's February and snowy I resorted to putting an ad on craigslist against my better judgment. We've only done an ad once before and it didn't turn out well, but I thought, "let's try again".

I've received seven inquiries. One of them actually showed up, and five never responded to my proposed showing times after they initiated contact. At least those five didn't waste a ton of my time. But #7 was Sarah from Atlanta, who set up a meeting with me today and then didn't show up. I specifically made sure to get home in time from a run, waited for an hour, and then called her. As soon as I said, "Hi, this is Rain Man", the rude Sarah from Atlanta hung up the phone. So I called back and left a message basically saying, "We had an appointment. If you're having trouble finding the place, I'll give you directions." The rude daughter of a syphilitic prostitute presumably found an apartment she liked, and just decided not to show up, not to call, and who cares if she left Rain Man waiting for her? Well, that's fine, Sarah from Atlanta. I don't want to rent to you anyway. I kind of figured from the start that you were a woman of loose moral fiber who would only use my apartment to make films starring you, another woman, and a cup.

If you have an appointment with someone and don't want to show up, cancel the appointment. It's really not very hard.

My co-worker said she'd had to before, but when she did, she confined them to her office and kept her door closed. Even then, the only time she did was when it was before a doctor's appointment or after a doctor's appointment before going home. The thing is, they had more than 24 hours to procure a sitter. Instead, since his wife had to go out of town for work, he brought his sick kid to work. Bronchitis and ear infection. Then he takes him home after lunch for his nap and tells us he'll be back only if he's able to find a sitter. Yeah right.

Firefly...

People who drive with their fog lights on when there is no fog.