How do you poop ON the seat?

[Eleazar]

I have been puzzled by this phenomena at work over the last few months. Even in a place that is supposed to be as clean as clean can be, someone keeps managing to somehow leave a heavy skid mark where they dropped one ON the toilet seat. How? How does this happen? (Insult to injury is that paper gaskets are available in every bathroom but this person/persons/animal is not using them) The last straw was today when both the heads within walking distance had been marked. These acts of toilet terrorism must not stand. Disgusting.

My question is - How is it that you can be sitting on the seat and plant a log on the seat at the same time? Is the perp trying to hover and is misaligned? Is the perp so fat that they can't even tell where they are aimed? Is this some sort of sick fetish behavior? How does this happen?

Disclaimer: sorry if repost

[A Salt Weapon]

My kids get poop on the seat when they get off the toilet. Do you have co-workers with really short legs?

[tooge]

Probably a fat ass that gets it smeared on the sides of the crack upon pushage, and then that just rubs on the rim. Nasty

[BigRedChief]

Wipes and then bring the toilet paper out? Business toilets where I've ever worked have social etiquette rules. Sounds like you got a heathen in your company.

[seclark]

does it on purpose, then sits at their desk all day giggling?
sec

[Kman34]

Had that happen at my work.... After a brief stake out we figured out it was a huge fat ass that couldn't find the hole...

[Graystoke]

My Wife's boys (26 & 30) are notorious back crappers. I make them use the basement shitter.
Major blowout...need mudflap

[Fish]

Do you work in a burrito factory?

[King_Chief_Fan]

My kids get poop on the seat when they get off the toilet. Do you have co-workers with really short legs?

ROFL. That made me laugh out loud

[Garcia Bronco]

By not scoring in the second half of games. :)

[dlphg9]

Really fat?

[Fire Me Boy!]

Apparently women hover. Never heard of a dude doing that.

There's some POS at my work that won't use a urinal to pee and won't lift the lid in the stall, either. ****ing sprinkled seats, all the goddamned time.

[Prison Bitch]

does it on purpose, then sits at their desk all day giggling?
sec

Correct^^^

[rabblerouser]

does it on purpose, then sits at their desk all day giggling?
sec

The Mad Shitter.

[kepp]

Apparently women hover. Never heard of a dude doing that.

There's some POS at my work that won't use a urinal to pee and won't lift the lid in the stall, either. ****ing sprinkled seats, all the goddamned time.

Ugh...that happens at my workplace also. It's like I work with second graders.

[kepp]

But as for the toilet seat skid marks...it is most likely a morbidly obese person. I had a girlfriend in college who had a big girl roommate and this was an issue. In fact, one time she got drunk, came back to the dorm room and mistakenly planted one cheek on the toilet and the other on the side of the bathtub and let'er rip. I'm not sure what she ate, but whatever it was, she had a whole lot of it.

[Fish]

But as for the toilet seat skid marks...it is most likely a morbidly obese person. I had a girlfriend in college who had a big girl roommate and this was an issue. In fact, one time she got drunk, came back to the dorm room and mistakenly planted one cheek on the toilet and the other on the side of the bathtub and let'er rip. I'm not sure what she ate, but whatever it was, she had a whole lot of it.

Your college girlfriend's fat drunk roommate shit on the bathroom floor?

Wow.

[kepp]

Your college girlfriend's fat drunk roommate shit on the bathroom floor?

Wow.

Yes. It was...bad.

[Graystoke]

But as for the toilet seat skid marks...it is most likely a morbidly obese person. I had a girlfriend in college who had a big girl roommate and this was an issue. In fact, one time she got drunk, came back to the dorm room and mistakenly planted one cheek on the toilet and the other on the side of the bathtub and let'er rip. I'm not sure what she ate, but whatever it was, she had a whole lot of it.

JESUS!
That is a hell of a gap no?

[Rain Man]

Maybe they were never trained properly, so they defecate before they reach the toilet and then just use it for cleanup.

[kepp]

JESUS!
That is a hell of a gap no?

It was a dorm room, so probably a bit smaller than normal. But yeah, she was a big girl.

[2112]

Wipes and then bring the toilet paper out? Business toilets where I've ever worked have social etiquette rules. Sounds like you got a heathen in your company.

Where you work You have prestigious granite toilet seats with bidets that probably shoot sparkling mineral water up your ass.

[2112]

I worked with a guy that blew the place up. He was in there and we heard explosions from the office. I was the next guy in to take a leak and first there's toilet paper on the floor with fecal matter on it. Then I lift the toilet seat up to piss and the underside of the toilet seat has freakles on it from the kerplunk backsplash explosion. Was fucking gross

[Andoverer]

The perp must have a problem called danglepoo. The poo you think went into the toilet but is still hanging on for dear life until it finally loses its grip when you get off the seat.

[tooge]

Rub a cut open habanero pepper all over the seat. It'll dry and be invisible. The perps ass will burn all afternoon and you will easily tell who did it.

[Eleazar]

Had that happen at my work.... After a brief stake out we figured out it was a huge fat ass that couldn't find the hole...

Seriously? How can you be so fat that you cannot use a toilet properly?

[Rausch]

I have, on occasion, left vomitus on a seat.

Never at work though...

[FlaChief58]

Squat and release

[wazu]

Seriously? How can you be so fat that you cannot use a toilet properly?

I know. Logically you'd think that being fat would indicate you've had more practice.

[ChiefRocka]

Fatties need bidets.

https://www.lovethisgif.com/uploaded_images/4165-Elephant-Wash-Down.gif?1

[TLO]

Seems impossible

[MahiMike]

Never poop at work. Go home at lunch for that.

[TLO]

Never poop at work. Go home at lunch for that.

I love pooping at work.

[KChiefs1]

Need pics.

[KChiefs1]

I love pooping at work.


Me too.
Love taking a dump & getting paid for it.

[cmh6476]

blew a gasket, sorry

[rabblerouser]

blew a gasket, sorry

Blew an o-ring

[frankotank]

Rub a cut open habanero pepper all over the seat. It'll dry and be invisible. The perps ass will burn all afternoon and you will easily tell who did it.

this whole thread had me laughing. I'm shocked I hadn't thought of starting one of these myself. I work in a decent office in downtown KC and apparently some of the guys in my office are just sick man.

pee on the lid...and yes...sometimes dooky too. just wow.

I really like the habanero idea...but you'd get some innocents too so....ahh WTF....I'll probably do it anyways....ROFL

[Eleazar]

Need pics.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/PqffVrhqW0o/maxresdefault.jpg

(dramatization)

[ping2000]

It's called the "Hovercraft" maneuver.

[ToxSocks]

I think it's a fat people problem. They have those massive ass-cheeks. That has to be a lot of surface to wipe, especially if it spreads around. And then to try reach their short little fat arms around to that massive backside? Im sure there's a lot of room for error there.

I once found skidmarks on my toilet seat. I didn't know if i should blame my 7yr old son or my 350lbs Brother in law....

[Kman34]

Seriously? How can you be so fat that you cannot use a toilet properly?

See post #16....

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

Rub a cut open habanero pepper all over the seat. It'll dry and be invisible. The perps ass will burn all afternoon and you will easily tell who did it.

Now that's my kinda thinkin.

[KCrockaholic]

I've seen poop usually on the back of the seat. Like somebody sat too far back on the seat then shit. Had to have been a major fatass.

But I'm a layer guy. I layer every toilet seat with about 2 coats of toilet paper before sitting down. I don't touch the seat. Even at my own home for years I'd do it. Now I'm good with not layering at home.

[ToxSocks]

But I'm a chick and i have a sloppy vagina. I layer every toilet seat with about 2 coats of toilet paper before sitting down.

FYP

[NWTF]

It is more than likely a fat person. Accidental due to being too fucking fat, but I still dont know why they dont clean it up.

This same thing happens occasionally at our work garage. The construction mgr down the hall is the prime suspect as witness's always place him entering or leaving around the time its discovered. And yeah hes fucking fat. The stalls themselves are from the 70s. Not a lot of room, but normal or smaller people are fine. There is no handicap/fat person stall.

[KCrockaholic]

FYP

So be it. I'm not touching ass germs with another man. And I don't touch the door handle on the way out.

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

I've seen poop usually on the back of the seat. Like somebody sat too far back on the seat then shit. Had to have been a major fatass.

But I'm a layer guy. I layer every toilet seat with about 2 coats of toilet paper before sitting down. I don't touch the seat. Even at my own home for years I'd do it. Now I'm good with not layering at home.

Holy CRAP! You'd FAIL as a Pig Farmer.

[Buzz]

So be it. I'm not touching ass germs with another man. And I don't touch the door handle on the way out.


Well, I don't put two layers but definitely one after wiping the seat. Sitting on someone else's pee sprinkles, butt hair and fecal matter is gross.

[Squalor2]

Seriously? How can you be so fat that you cannot use a toilet properly?


you should move back to america and stop eating curries. eat more naan whatever you do

[Eleazar]

you should move back to america and stop eating curries. eat more naan whatever you do

Garlic in your bottom, you illegitimately born elephant's trunk!

[BigCatDaddy]

does it on purpose, then sits at their desk all day giggling?
sec

I used to shit in 1 toliet leave it and waddle over to the next one to wipe. Id also giggle when I saw the next guy head that way.

[TLO]

I used to shit in 1 toliet leave it and waddle over to the next one to wipe. Id also giggle when I saw the next guy head that way.

You sick fiend..

[BigCatDaddy]

You sick fiend..

Used to drive my friend there nuts LMAO. He is one of those germaphobes that punches the door code with a paper towell.

[srvy]

I one of those germaphobes. After I wash my hands they never make contact with the public RR door never!!

What disgusts me even more is in the summertime dudes wearing flipflops and useing public urinals. There is always a disgusting puddle of piss below it like a wading pool of piss. They just stand and waddle in it gross.

[Rain Man]

I one of those germaphobes. After I wash my hands they never make contact with the public RR door never!!

What disgusts me even more is in the summertime dudes wearing flipflops and useing public urinals. There is always a disgusting puddle of piss below it like a wading pool of piss. They just stand and waddle in it gross.

I was in a busy airport the other day, and that's where those puddles seem to be the worst. Lots of volume. While I was standing there, feet positioned awkwardly to avoid standing in one, I was pondering why they exist.

What's the source of the puddle? Is it that final drop that can never be disposed of properly? Is it the accumulation of microscopic splashback coming from inside the urinal? Is it the tiny rainfall of actual water associated with the flush? I really want to know where the puddle comes from.

[ChiefRocka]

My 6'5 buddy played TE for UPENN and we were all back at our high school for a pickup game. It was pregame locker room and buddy was shitting in the stall shitting next to a urinal. My other buddy (funny guy) decides to piss on the floor next to his feet. He shouts and stands up to run after funny guy and slips in the piss, falls in said piss, soaking his pants and shirt. Amateur hooligans....sure....but funny nonetheless.

[BigMeatballDave]

I've literally shit on the back of the lid and part of the seat. Almost made a huge mess of myself, had I actually sat down. I don't remember exactly where I was but it was at a TA somewhere like 2 yrs ago.

I almost didn't make it that far. Shitting on the seat was much better than my pants.

I cleaned off as much as I could with TP and finished my business. :)

[Eleazar]

Worse today. I don't know how Lupe who cleans the bathrooms isn't the highest paid employee here.

[listopencil]

Hey. Poopy New Year's everybody!

[007]

Simple, you just poop on the seat and walk away. Is this really a question. :D

[Jiu Jitsu Jon]

Could be someone with IBS. Sometimes they're lucky to make it to the toilet. Even if I have a photo finish I still try not to leave a mess.