In Deep Kaka And Need Help Fast Thread!!!

[FAX]

Okay ... we just had new carpet installed in my home office and I dropped some gum on the floor and stepped on it. I need to get this cleaned up before the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX gets home and she'll be here in an hour.

I google up some stuff, then I did a web search that says use ice. I only have one shot at this and I have to get it right. Any Planeteers know how to do this? Is ice the best?

FAX

Disclaimers: Sorry if re-post. Sorry if I don't post again 'cause it means she caught me.

[The Franchise]

Take a dump on the rug.....she'll never notice the gum. It also helps if you have a dog to blame it on.

[FAX]

For God's sake, men. This is no time for screwing around.

FAX

[Donger]

Okay ... we just had new carpet installed in my home office and I dropped some gum on the floor and stepped on it. I need to get this cleaned up before the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX gets home and she'll be here in an hour.

I google up some stuff, then I did a web search that says use ice. I only have one shot at this and I have to get it right. Any Planeteers know how to do this? Is ice the best?

FAX

Disclaimers: Sorry if re-post. Sorry if I don't post again 'cause it means she caught me.

RIP, Mr. FAX.

[seclark]

what where you doing, rubbing one off on the new...oh...you said gum.
ice should work best.
sec

[Redrum_69]

Give her an antifreeze blizzard when she first walks in.

Problem solved.


Next thing is to create a thread asking how to properly dispose of a body...

[The Franchise]

http://homeparents.about.com/cs/householdtips/ht/Gum_Carpets.htm

[Redrum_69]

CHICKS DIG GUYS WITH GUM ON THEIR CARPET>>>

[The Franchise]

http://www.ehow.com/how_113088_remove-chewing-gum.html?ref=fuel&utm_source=yahoo&utm_medium=ssp&utm_campaign=yssp_art

[Donger]

Peanut butter or ice, FAX. I used ice once, and once it hardens, you can scrape it off.

[The Franchise]

WD-40 also works well to remove gum. Spray it onto the gum spot and smoosh it around a little bit. Let it sit for fifteen or twenty minutes and then remove. The gum will slide right off the carpet! It may take two applications, but the gum should come right out. Lighter fluid is also something you can use, which you wouldn’t expect. This is not recommended around fireplaces or where people are smoking (or anywhere else it might be exposed to heat or flames.) With these latter two methods, you’ll probably want to test a hidden area of your carpet first to be sure no damage will be incurred. After the gum is removed, clean out any residue or leftover product with a damp cloth.

[FAX]

I'm going with ice. I don't have any drycleaning fluid. Who keeps friggin' drycleaning fluid around the house, anyhow? Drycleaners?

FAX

[DaFace]

I've had good luck with the ice thing. Dry ice is even better, but much more difficult to get a hold of and handle. Basically, if it ain't warm, it ain't sticky.

[FAX]

Won't WD40 leave a giant oil stain?

FAX

[Radar Chief]

Wow, you're screwed. :eek:

[Donger]

What flavor gum is it?

[sedated]

Won't WD40 leave a giant oil stain?

FAX

I think you have WD-40 confused with oil

[FAX]

Holy crap on a moldy triscuit. This is bad. I must have rolled over it with my chair, because it's really in there.

I've put ice in a baggie and have placed the baggie on the gum. I have to wait for a while for the gum to freeze or something. Maybe I can move some furniture over it.

FAX

[stumppy]

I have used ice with limited success. It would help remove anywhere from 50% to 90% of the gum.

I have heard from more than one person that mayonaisse does a real good job

[FAX]

What flavor gum is it?

Nicorette.

FAX

[FAX]

Mayonnaise?

Jesus. If she comes home and there's a big mayonnaise stain on the carpet, I am really in trouble.

FAX

[Donger]

Nicorette.

FAX

Can't you just gnaw it out?

[kstater]

Mayonnaise?

Jesus. If she comes home and there's a big mayonnaise stain on the carpet, I am really in trouble.

FAX

Yeah, I don't think she'll think it's mayonnaise.

[seclark]

stick a fruit wheat next to it and blame it on the squirrel.
sec

[FAX]

Can't you just gnaw it out?

Tried that already, Mr. Donger.

It's funny. My life is flashing before my eyes. I just saw my first grade teacher sending me to the office.

FAX

[FAX]

Okay. I'm going to be a man about this. Screw it. This could have happened to anyone. No one should get angry with another person over an accident. This is just one of those things that happens in life that challenges one's maturity. It's how we deal with adversity that defines us.

How's all that sound?

FAX

[The Franchise]

Won't WD40 leave a giant oil stain?

FAX

No.

[Demonpenz]

Great now it is going to have nicitine stains

[The Franchise]

Okay. I'm going to be a man about this. Screw it. This could have happened to anyone. No one should get angry with another person over an accident. This is just one of those things that happens in life that challenges one's maturity. It's how we deal with adversity that defines us.

How's all that sound?

FAX

You're screwed. LMAO

[TrebMaxx]

Freeze it with the ice and use a putty knife to scrape. You may have to repeat a few times. There is a spray that will freeze it quicker than an ice bag you might be able to get at a janitorial supply store.

[FAX]

Let she that hath not dropped gum on the carpet cast the first blow.

FAX

[Friendo]

Tried that already, Mr. Donger.

It's funny. My life is flashing before my eyes. I just saw my first grade teacher sending me to the office.

FAX

won't solve the problem immediately, but you should be able to get some gum dissolver from any carpet cleaning company--you apply it directly, then scrape the gum out, with a um, gum scraper. of course you could be dead before then, but at least Mr FAX #2 will have a shiny new office carpet.

[The Franchise]

Do you have any canned air for cleaning your keyboard?

[brorth]

Tell the beautiful and witty Mrs Fax to stay out of the office, lay papers out all over, tell her you're doing research for something, it should buy you at least 30 minutes or so.

[Fish]

Do you have a bottle of compressed air? That will chill it very quickly. And likely colder than the ice would just by contact....

Or rearrange the furniture... that will at least prolong the agonizing certain death you're bound to eventually receive....

[FAX]

Do you have any canned air for cleaning your keyboard?

Affirmative.

Just checked the gum under the ice. It's cold. Like my blood.

FAX

[The Franchise]

Do you have a bottle of compressed air? That will chill it very quickly. And likely colder than the ice would just by contact....

Or rearrange the furniture... that will at least prolong the agonizing certain death you're bound to eventually receive....

REPOST! LMAO

[The Franchise]

Affirmative.

Just checked the gum under the ice. It's cold. Like my blood.

FAX

Turn it upside down and spray the gum. It should freeze it rather quickly.

[Deberg_1990]

Is she home yet?? The suspense is killing me!!

[FAX]

Sprayed the living crap out of the gum with compressed air. The gum seemed to like that. Now attempting to scrape gum out of carpet with putty knife. Fear mounting.

FAX

[The Franchise]

Sprayed the living crap out of the gum with compressed air. The gum seemed to like that. Now attempting to scrape gum out of carpet with putty knife. Fear mounting.

FAX

Did you turn the can over so it was freezing the gum? You're not just blowing the gum with air right? lol

[FAX]

Gum remains in gooey state. Brain also.

Need more ice.

FAX

[FAX]

Did you turn the can over so it was freezing the gum? You're not just blowing the gum with air right? lol

You never mentioned that part, Mr. pestilenceaf23. Of course I sprayed the friggin' gum with friggin' air. Jesus.

FAX

[Friendo]

Gum remains in gooey state. Brain also.

Need more ice.

FAX

you need to dissolve it with an enzyme.

[The Franchise]

You never mentioned that part, Mr. pestilenceaf23. Of course I sprayed the friggin' gum with friggin' air. Jesus.

FAX

Turn it over so that it's upside down. A freezing cold solution should come out...spray the gum with that. It should freeze the gum faster then just putting ice on it.

[FAX]

And where, Mr. Friendo, does one procure gum dissolving enzymes?

FAX

[The Franchise]

You never mentioned that part, Mr. pestilenceaf23. Of course I sprayed the friggin' gum with friggin' air. Jesus.

FAX

Post #38. I said turn it upside down. LMAO

[kstater]

Turn it over so that it's upside down. A freezing cold solution should come out...spray the gum with that. It should freeze the gum faster then just putting ice on it.

But DO NOT spray your hand.

[sedated]

Now you don't understand that if she comes home and finds gum in that carpet, you're gonna get divorced. No marriage councelor, no trial separation - f*ckin divorced. And you don't wanna get f*ckin divorced.

[kstater]

And where, Mr. Friendo, does one procure gum dissolving enzymes?

FAX

Antifreeze?:p

[Donger]

What's her ETA? Or your ETD?

[Friendo]

And where, Mr. Friendo, does one procure gum dissolving enzymes?

FAX

see my previous post--I have a friend who cleans carpets for a living and he swears this is the stage most peeps f*** up.

[FAX]

I'm running out of time here.

I think I'm going to lay down on the floor with my mouth near the gum and pretend I'm having some sort of seizure. That way, when she gets home and after I recover, she'll be so glad that I'm still alive, it won't matter about the gum.

FAX

[Deberg_1990]

What's her ETA? Or your ETD?

Its got to be close. he said an hour at 3:18.. Its now 4:45

[The Franchise]

Did you spray it with the freezing air?

[The Franchise]

Its got to be close. he said an hour at 3:18.. Its now 4:45

It's been 30 minutes since he posted.

[Friendo]

this is shaping up to be a classic.:thumb:

[kstater]

And people say smoking kills.

I say not smoking and chewing niccorette kills.

[Deberg_1990]

It's been 30 minutes since he posted.


Hmmm..my Chiefsplanet clock must be off?? It says he started the thread at 3:18PM

[FAX]

Does human vomit contain enzymes? Because I'm about to do that.

FAX

[The Franchise]

Does human vomit contain enzymes? Because I'm about to do that.

FAX

Calm down and just use the upside down canned air.

[FAX]

Okay. I got a lot of it out. This isn't looking too bad, actually. BP is going down, somewhat. Going for more ice. And a huge glass of tea. That way, if she walks in and sees all these bags of ice, I'll have an excuse for that. Thinking ahead, now.

FAX

[FAX]

I just noticed that the compressed air can now has gum on it, too. And, when I set it down on my desk I got a gum transfer to the wood. Shit.

There is friggin' gum everywhere.

FAX

[CoMoChief]

Peanut Butter and then Carpet cleaner?!?!? (I dunno)

If not at least we all know who wears the pants in the house. :)

[Donger]

Quite the sticky situation.

[FAX]

Okay. I need to calm down. Here's the situation ... I have partially frozen gum in the carpet. I have gum on the putty knife, under my fingernails, on my desk, and on a can of compressed air. There has to be a rational explanation that makes perfect sense. I just need to think of it. If only there were such a thing as gum monsters. Maybe the seizure idea isn't so bad, after all.

FAX

[The Franchise]

I just noticed that the compressed air can now has gum on it, too. And, when I set it down on my desk I got a gum transfer to the wood. Shit.

There is friggin' gum everywhere.

FAX

http://www.ehow.com/how_2038631_remove-gum-from-wood-floors.html?ref=fuel&utm_source=yahoo&utm_medium=ssp&utm_campaign=yssp_art

[FAX]

How can one friggin' piece of gum get so friggin' big in such a short time? Jesus.

FAX

[The Franchise]

Okay. I need to calm down. Here's the situation ... I have partially frozen gum in the carpet. I have gum on the putty knife, under my fingernails, on my desk, and on a can of compressed air. There has to be a rational explanation that makes perfect sense. I just need to think of it. If only there were such a thing as gum monsters. Maybe the seizure idea isn't so bad, after all.

FAX

Ok man...you've got 20 minutes left. Breathe.

Finish freezing the gum on the carpet and work on getting that out. Then start freezing the gum on the desk and work that off.

Then STOP PUTTING THE GUM EVERYWHERE!!!!! LMAO

[FAX]

Just called the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX. She's dropping by a friend's house on the way home to hand off some clothes. I have, at least, another 30 minutes. Awesome.

Going for more ice.

FAX

[Skip Towne]

You need a can of freon, not compressed air. Try Radio Shack.

[penguinz]

This reminds me of an episode of SpongeBob Squarepants.

[FAX]

You need a can of freon, not compressed air. Try Radio Shack.

No time.

Need ice.

FAX

[Frazod]

I wonder whether or not FAX will still be alive when I get home? :evil:

[Skip Towne]

No time.

Need ice.

FAX

Won't work.

[FAX]

Okay. Got ice, tea, putty knife, compressed air, baggies, carpet cleaner, and rags. Kicked over trash can on way back into office. Trash is on floor. I can handle that.

Gum is friggin' everywhere now.

Going to work on carpet again with ice and putty knife.

FAX

[The Franchise]

Do you have any Goo Gone?

[FAX]

WTF is Goo Gone?

FAX

[Deberg_1990]

This reminds me of an episode of SpongeBob Squarepants.

It reminds me of "The Bonnie Situation" in Pulp Fiction.

Should we send a "cleaner" over?? ROFL

[kstater]

You know you'll save some time if you stop posting.

Set up a webcam instead.

[kstater]

WTF is Goo Gone?

FAX

I wouldn't think Goo Gone would require an explanation.

[Skip Towne]

I think FAX is making all this up.

[Donger]

There once was a poster named FAX
Whose aim was really quite lax.
He needed a fix
so he popped in a stick
Not knowing in his future was an ax.

We watched him panic
We watched him torment
We laughed
We cried
We felt his pain
But, in the end, the blame was with his aim.

[The Franchise]

Goo Gone does just what it says.....removes sticky stuff. Adhesive....Gum....

If you don't know what it is.....you more than likely don't have some.

[Donger]

Good lord, don't use Goo Gone. Women can smell that sh*t from a mile away.

[FAX]

I think FAX is making all this up.

I wish that were true, Mr. Skip Towne.

Situation ... some gum came out of carpet, some gum still gooey, do not possess Goo Gone, trash back in trash container, frizzed a carpet fiber while removing gum from carpet, going for scissors to trim fiber.

FAX

[Skip Towne]

I wish that were true, Mr. Skip Towne.

Situation ... some gum came out of carpet, some gum still gooey, do not possess Goo Gone, trash back in trash container, frizzed a carpet fiber while removing gum from carpet, going for scissors to trim fiber.

FAX

Use the scissors to cut the gum out of the carpet.

[Donger]

I wish that were true, Mr. Skip Towne.

Situation ... some gum came out of carpet, some gum still gooey, do not possess Goo Gone, trash back in trash container, frizzed a carpet fiber while removing gum from carpet, going for scissors to trim fiber.

FAX

No! DO NOT CUT THE CARPET!

[The Franchise]

You could always just wait for her to get home. After she takes off her shoes and leaves them around.....stick a piece of chewing gum to them. Then blame it on her.

[The Franchise]

Damn it man.....what happened!?!??!!?!?

[Deberg_1990]

Damn it man.....what happened!?!??!!?!?


Hes dead.

RIP FAX...

[ChiefsFire]

Go down to the cryogenic store and buy a cryogenic machine...FAST

[RJ]

The ice will work but you have to leave it on the gum long enough for the gum to freeze. After it freezes you hit it with the back of a spoon or similar object so the gum will break away from the fibers. I get this question a couple of times a year. This is the procedure recommended by the manufacturers.

[keg in kc]

...Hes dead.

RIP FAX...

[TrebMaxx]

In my house I would have just waited for the wife to come home. Then tell her to clean it up.

[Deberg_1990]

this thread lost its burst..

[kstater]

I think Mr. FAX is about to reach his goal and this silly charade will be over.

[FAX]

May the Muse Of Severely Blocked Colons establish residence in your lower abdomen, Mr. kstater. Silly charade, my foot.

The beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX returned and all is well. Operation Gum Freeze was successful. There's still a small spot ... I think some of the gum remains deep in the carpet fibers. I'll work on it more later when she's running errands tomorrow. But, for now, it's hardly noticable unless you know it's there.

Many thanks to all for your assistance and advice. That was a close one.

FAX

[ChiefsFire]

May the Muse Of Severely Blocked Colons establish residence in your lower abdomen, Mr. kstater. Silly charade, my foot.

The beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX returned and all is well. Operation Gum Freeze was successful. There's still a small spot ... I think some of the gum remains deep in the carpet fibers. I'll work on it more later when she's running errands tomorrow. But, for now, it's hardly noticable unless you know it's there.

Many thanks to all for your assistance and advice. That was a close one.

FAX

She will find out about it...they always do.

[Dayze]

What flavor gum is it?

LMAO

[Donger]

May the Muse Of Severely Blocked Colons establish residence in your lower abdomen, Mr. kstater. Silly charade, my foot.

The beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX returned and all is well. Operation Gum Freeze was successful. There's still a small spot ... I think some of the gum remains deep in the carpet fibers. I'll work on it more later when she's running errands tomorrow. But, for now, it's hardly noticable unless you know it's there.

Many thanks to all for your assistance and advice. That was a close one.

FAX

"We copy you down, Eagle! You got a bunch of guys about to turn blue. We're breathing again. Thanks a lot!"

[blueballs]

fire extinguisher

[FAX]

By the way, sometimes I think the skepticism on ChiefsPlanet is dangerously out of control. That any Planeteer might raise the possibility that I would fake such a story or grind chewing gum into a brand new carpet merely to achieve a 100 post thread, is shocking, outrageous, and offensive.

Still, this thread did get a lot of posts in a very short time. Tomorrow I might set off a nuclear explosion in my kitchen.

FAX

[Dayze]

By the way, sometimes I think the skepticism on ChiefsPlanet is dangerously out of control. That any Planeteer might raise the possibility that I would fake such a story or grind chewing gum into a brand new carpet merely to achieve a 100 post thread, is shocking, outrageous, and offensive.

Still, this thread did get a lot of posts in a very short time. Tomorrow I might set off a nuclear explosion in my kitchen.

FAX

Title your threat "Need Help ASAP - How Do I Dispose of the Door To Door Salesman's Body?!!!"

[kstater]

By the way, sometimes I think the skepticism on ChiefsPlanet is dangerously out of control. That any Planeteer might raise the possibility that I would fake such a story or grind chewing gum into a brand new carpet merely to achieve a 100 post thread, is shocking, outrageous, and offensive.

Still, this thread did get a lot of posts in a very short time. Tomorrow I might set off a nuclear explosion in my kitchen.

FAX

If you had not have been blatantly wishing ill towards others who recieve 100 post threads over inane subjects, the thought would not have even crossed my mind. Many congratulations are in order to you for successfully removing the impregnated object from your new carpet as well as your success on your much sought after 100 post thread.

[FAX]

If you had not have been blatantly wishing ill towards others who recieve 100 post threads over inane subjects, the thought would not have even crossed my mind. Many congratulations are in order to you for successfully removing the impregnated object from your new carpet as well as your success on your much sought after 100 post thread.

It is quite true that I have in the past, and continute to struggle in the thread-making category since most of my threads have failed miserably and are considered by many to be slightly better than persistent anal itch, Mr. kstater.

However, you have me at a loss. When have I (blatantly or otherwise) wished ill toward others who have achieved 100 post threads on inane subjects? I don't recall such wishing. I remember expressing astonishment at Mr. Skip Towne's ability to acquire 100 posts on a thread about tomatoes, but that's about it. I think you have me confused with someone else.

FAX

[Friendo]

It is quite true that I have in the past, and continute to struggle in the thread-making category since most of my threads have failed miserably and are considered by many to be slightly better than persistent anal itch, Mr. kstater.

However, you have me at a loss. When have I (blatantly or otherwise) wished ill toward others who have achieved 100 post threads on inane subjects? I don't recall such wishing. I remember expressing astonishment at Mr. Skip Towne's ability to acquire 100 posts on a thread about tomatoes, but that's about it. I think you have me confused with someone else.

FAX

after all that, might I suggest a trip to the Burger King Mr. FAX for a Steakhouse Burger--so special, people may think you think you're special!

[Cntrygal]

I think "kaka" is actually spelled "caca".

:D

[cdcox]

I've long believed gum should be outlawed and anyone who uses or makes it should be thrown in prison. I believe today FAX may see the wisdom to my idea.

[Groves]

http://ace.imageg.net/graphics/product_images/pACE-1253376reg.jpg

[bronco610]

Good old fashioned lighter fluid dissolves gum and doesnt leave a stain !!!

[Smed1065]

Here is something for Mrs Fax in case she does notice?

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b38/smed1065/images.jpg

If not not try this:

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b38/smed1065/BG.jpg

[cardken]

Have Merceulus Wallace,call Winston Wolfe "the Cleaner", before "my wife gets home and wants a divorce, I don't want a f@#king Divorce, Jules."LMAO

[HypnotizedMonkey]

don't chew gum, smoke, then you won't have these problems.

[teedubya]

I wasn't stressed at all, Mr. FAX.

[jjchieffan]

the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX

Did you have a motorcycle when you landed her?LMAO

[Logical]

You need a can of freon, not compressed air. Try Radio Shack.If it is deep pile rug freon will freeze the strands of carpet and when you try to scrape the gum out the strands may (probably will) break.

[Skip Towne]

If it is deep pile rug freon will freeze the strands of carpet and when you try to scrape the gum out the strands may (probably will) break.

He hasn't said what type of carpet it is. I was just pointing out that freon, not compressed air will freeze the gum.

[Subterranean Alien]

Put a quarter on the gum, press hard. Oh look, a quarter is on the floor. OR, carpet the entire floor with gum, and proclaim the new carpet "some new fad" called sticky gum floor. I dunno.

[bevischief]

ROFL

[googlegoogle]

Steam or cold ice.

just google this one. they have an answer for it.

there might be some carpet safe gumout stuff.