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What attributes will my new neighbor(s) have? Check all that apply.
Will be “distant friendly”, waving but seldom chatting - 31.82%
14 Votes
Will be a Chiefs fan - 2.27%
1 Vote
Will be a cult - 13.64%
6 Votes
Will be a member of Chiefsplanet - 0%
0 Votes
Will be a recluse, never leaving the house - 6.82%
3 Votes
Will be a stoner - 36.36%
16 Votes
Will be a vegan - 20.45%
9 Votes
Will be an avid Broncos fan - 47.73%
21 Votes
Will be retired - 4.55%
2 Votes
Will be swingers who propose wife swapping - 15.91%
7 Votes
Will be the Barney and Betty to my Fried and Wilma and we'll do everything together - 4.55%
2 Votes
Will be very interested in unexplained phenomena like Bigfoot and UFOs - 13.64%
6 Votes
Will be Von Miller - 11.36%
5 Votes
Will be more than 15 years younger than me - 29.55%
13 Votes
Will come into my house unannounced and take food out of my refrigerator - 13.64%
6 Votes
Will contain a registered sex offender (not a teacher who scored with a student) - 20.45%
9 Votes
Will contain a registered sex offender who is a teacher who scored with her student. - 15.91%
7 Votes
Will contain an adult child who never launched - 20.45%
9 Votes
Will eventually hop a freighter to Venezuela with me - 6.82%
3 Votes
Will give out amazing candy at Halloween, like 16 ounce Hershey bars - 9.09%
4 Votes
Will grow large quantities of marijuana in the house - 20.45%
9 Votes
Will hang out on my porch with me, drinking Pibb Xtra and commenting on pedestrians - 6.82%
3 Votes
Will have a constantly barking dog - 27.27%
12 Votes
Will have a Duggar-like family composition - 6.82%
3 Votes
Will have a scorchingly hot college-age daughter - 9.09%
4 Votes
Will have a telescope pointed toward my window - 18.18%
8 Votes
Will have a weird tech job that I can't even make conversation about, so I can only nod when they tell me - 11.36%
5 Votes
Will have awesome Christmas lights - 6.82%
3 Votes
Will have weird and dull hobbies that don’t interest me at all. - 22.73%
10 Votes
Will include an attractive mature woman who does naked yoga - 11.36%
5 Votes
Will include at least one nude sunbather woman - 6.82%
3 Votes
Will invite us onto their yacht for epic adventures - 2.27%
1 Vote
Will let me play with their cat. - 6.82%
3 Votes
Will like my wife, but not me. - 22.73%
10 Votes
Will maintain a world-class yard - 4.55%
2 Votes
Will move out again within two years - 13.64%
6 Votes
Will mow their lawn in Bermuda shorts and sandals with socks - 13.64%
6 Votes
Will never acknowledge my existence - 13.64%
6 Votes
Will not speak English - 13.64%
6 Votes
Will own a loud motorcycle that they rev early in the morning - 11.36%
5 Votes
Will paint their house in zebra stripes or camo - 6.82%
3 Votes
Will put out planters that are made from old tires or barrels - 15.91%
7 Votes
Will regularly bring me delicious homemade pies - 4.55%
2 Votes
Will rent out an AirBnB room - 11.36%
5 Votes
Will restore my faith in humanity with their kindness - 2.27%
1 Vote
Will shovel my walk of snow just to be nice - 2.27%
1 Vote
Will sit on a couch on their porch, wearing a wife beater shirt and glaring at me - 25.00%
11 Votes
Will take issue with our fence placement - 22.73%
10 Votes
I think the house will sit vacant and never be occupied. - 2.27%
1 Vote
I think your neighbors are imaginary and you really live next door to an empty lot. - 2.27%
1 Vote
Total Votes: 44
You may not vote on this poll.
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