I ****ing HATE Golf !!!!.... - Page 2

WilliamInnerCircle · 09-16-2004, 07:45 PM

.. That's right. **** you Golf. You piece of Shiot-sucking game. **** you again, I say.

And F8ck the goat sodomizing bastard Scotsman who invented the miserable game. If I see that (pinkie pulling) mother f@cker in heaven I'll beat his f@cking brains in. Course if he invented golf, that means he played golf and every golfer by definition is cheater and a liar therefore he's probably in hell... WHERE HE ****ING BELONGS!! for inventing this terminally f@cked, terminally frustrating, hypertension causing game.

**** HIM!!!!

Oh and to my golf clubs... **** YOU you dirty no good (pinkie pullers) See if I ever take you useless bastards anywhere nice again. You all deserve to be melted down and turned into ****ing bicycle spokes. That's right!!! Do you hear me? ****ing bicycle spokes!!!!! You bastards let me down today. You embarrassed me. Absolutely embarrassed me.

Don't look at me like that. You MF'ers did all that shiot on purpose and you ****ling know it!!! Especially you 5-Iron. Don't act like you didn't deserve that 75 foot helicopter ride down the cart path after you intentionally scuffed that tee shot on the par 3. You just sat there laughing as my ball skipped like a f@cking flat rock before it settled to the bottom of that lake. You're lucky I didn't throw you in front of a speeding semi-trailer. So F@CK YOU!!!!!

Don't look so upset 7-Iron. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You did your job. From 140 - 160 you were dead on. I want you to know I'm not taking this out on you. You still have a home.

As for you pitching wedge. Just what ****ing good are you? You think it's funny? Huh? Do ya? You little SOB. Don't make me come over there and bash you into the ground again you useless hunk of ****ing pot metal. Smacking balls over the green today. Just to p!ss me off. WTF did I ever do to you? I bought you. Put a f@cking roof over your head. Clean you religiously. Keep the dirt and grime off you. Give you a nice cover so you don't get hurt by the other clubs when bouncing around in the cart and cause a dent. This is how you repay my kindness? By blasting shots OVER the ****ing green from 20, 30, 40, 15 yards away? Listen real close mother ****ing pitching wedge. If you ever, ever pull a stunt like that again I will get the hacksaw out and slice you up like a Thanksgiving turkey. But I'll do it slow. Real ****ing slow. And I'll video tape the whole mother ****ing thing. Yep. And I'll show it to all the other clubs in the bag. Just to let them know I' will not tolerate this type of play.

DO YOU ****ING HEAR ME???????

I hope so because if this ever happens again, I will encase you mother ****ers in concrete and sink you to the bottom of the mother ****ing ocean. The Feds will find Hoffa before they'll find you ****ers.

Is that clear?

**** this game. I'm going to bed.

ROYC75 · 09-16-2004, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WilliamTheIrish

They're still looking at me... and laughing... I;m going to go mash another club...

No wait, you'll need some for that Monday !

**morphius** · 09-16-2004, 07:56 PM

Getting physically upset about golf is like getting physically upset about your soufflat collapsing...

its...

well...

kinda ghey.

ROYC75 · 09-16-2004, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WilliamTheIrish

I'd don't think the foundation would be invited back if I went "Manson" on their course.

They don't know we will be with the foundation... just a bunch of hackers having fun.... you'll fit right in !

WilliamInnerCircle · 09-16-2004, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Getting physically upset about golf is like getting physically upset about your soufflat collapsing...

WTF is a soufflat?

|Zach| · 09-16-2004, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowser

No Zach, gawddammit, you put their drinks on my bill when I tell you that's what I want!

Where's my beer??

Bur sir....

Just a moment...

WilliamInnerCircle · 09-16-2004, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZachKC

Are you sure you aren't a member of the Blue Springs Country Club?

Want another Absolute and Cranberry?

Not unless they have a 5 Iron hanging from a tree on one of their holes..

ROYC75 · 09-16-2004, 08:06 PM

William... any chance you going to be around for next weekends events ?

WilliamInnerCircle · 09-16-2004, 08:12 PM

I'm all set for Monday morn. I'm working on Mon night..

PastorMikH · 09-16-2004, 08:12 PM

Maybe you shouldn't stand so close to the ball after you hit it.

Went out and tried a new course today - definately needed the day out. After the first part of this week the fact that I hit maybe 1 good drive all day didn't even phase my attitude. Irons and wedges were working great and pulled my a decent score for the first time there and also playing from the championship tees.

|Zach| · 09-16-2004, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WilliamTheIrish

Not unless they have a 5 Iron hanging from a tree on one of their holes..

I wouldn't put it past this group of people.

WilliamInnerCircle · 09-16-2004, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PastorMikH

Maybe you shouldn't stand so close to the ball after you hit it.

Went out and tried a new course today - definately needed the day out. After the first part of this week the fact that I hit maybe 1 good drive all day didn't even phase my attitude. Irons and wedges were working great and pulled my a decent score for the first time there and also playing from the championship tees.

Ya know if you weren't a man o' God......telling me about your great round.....

Just pray for m.....ummm... my game.

ROYC75 · 09-16-2004, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WilliamTheIrish

I'm all set for Monday morn. I'm working on Mon night..

So I take it you want to play that morning ?

PastorMikH · 09-16-2004, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WilliamTheIrish

Ya know if you weren't a man o' God......telling me about your great round.....

Just pray for m.....ummm... my game.

Will Do!

And it wasn't a great game, decent for a first visit to the course, but the day on the greens and out of the office was awesome! I think I could have scored 120 today and not minded.

KevB · 09-16-2004, 08:15 PM

That rant is about the funniest thing I've ever read online. I was in tears. The funniest thing of all is that my wife read it after she saw me laughing hysterically.....and she didn't even crack a smile. Apparently swearing at and threatening inanimate objects (which I've done many tiems) are a guy thing.

BTW, isn't Soufflat a small town in Iowa?

**Iowanian** · 09-16-2004, 08:16 PM

Sounds like a canidate to buy the putter at the 37 auction.

09-16-2004, 07:45 PM
WilliamInnerCircle Champion Golfer Of The Year Join Date: Aug 2001 Casino cash: $181679	I ing HATE Golf !!!!.... .. That's right. ** you Golf. You piece of Shiot-sucking game. ** you again, I say. And F8ck the goat sodomizing bastard Scotsman who invented the miserable game. If I see that (pinkie pulling) mother f@cker in heaven I'll beat his f@cking brains in. Course if he invented golf, that means he played golf and every golfer by definition is cheater and a liar therefore he's probably in hell... WHERE HE **ING BELONGS!! for inventing this terminally f@cked, terminally frustrating, hypertension causing game. ** HIM!!!! Oh and to my golf clubs... YOU you dirty no good (pinkie pullers) See if I ever take you useless bastards anywhere nice again. You all deserve to be melted down and turned into ing bicycle spokes. That's right!!! Do you hear me? ing bicycle spokes!!!!! You bastards let me down today. You embarrassed me. Absolutely embarrassed me. Don't look at me like that. You MF'ers did all that shiot on purpose and you ling know it!!! Especially you 5-Iron. Don't act like you didn't deserve that 75 foot helicopter ride down the cart path after you intentionally scuffed that tee shot on the par 3. You just sat there laughing as my ball skipped like a f@cking flat rock before it settled to the bottom of that lake. You're lucky I didn't throw you in front of a speeding semi-trailer. So F@CK YOU!!!!! Don't look so upset 7-Iron. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You did your job. From 140 - 160 you were dead on. I want you to know I'm not taking this out on you. You still have a home. As for you pitching wedge. Just what ing good are you? You think it's funny? Huh? Do ya? You little SOB. Don't make me come over there and bash you into the ground again you useless hunk of ing pot metal. Smacking balls over the green today. Just to p!ss me off. WTF did I ever do to you? I bought you. Put a f@cking roof over your head. Clean you religiously. Keep the dirt and grime off you. Give you a nice cover so you don't get hurt by the other clubs when bouncing around in the cart and cause a dent. This is how you repay my kindness? By blasting shots OVER the ing green from 20, 30, 40, 15 yards away? Listen real close mother *ing pitching wedge. If you ever, ever* pull a stunt like that again I will get the hacksaw out and slice you up like a Thanksgiving turkey. But I'll do it slow. Real **ing slow. And I'll video tape the whole mother ing thing. Yep. And I'll show it to all the other clubs in the bag. Just to let them know I' will not tolerate this type of play. DO YOU **ING HEAR ME??????? I hope so because if this ever happens again, I will encase you mother **ers in concrete and sink you to the bottom of the mother ing ocean. The Feds will find Hoffa before they'll find you ers. Is that clear? ** this game. I'm going to bed.
Posts: 23,321

09-16-2004, 07:56 PM	#17
morphius World's finest morphius Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $199959	Getting physically upset about golf is like getting physically upset about your soufflat collapsing... its... well... kinda ghey. __________________ Herm Edwards neutering offenses one QB at a time.
Posts: 24,150

09-16-2004, 08:06 PM	#22
ROYC75 Time For Your Wake Up Call !!! Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Barn Yard Casino cash: $28396	William... any chance you going to be around for next weekends events ? __________________ *(This Space For Rent ! )*
Posts: 22,954

09-16-2004, 08:12 PM	#23
WilliamInnerCircle Champion Golfer Of The Year Join Date: Aug 2001 Casino cash: $181679	I'm all set for Monday morn. I'm working on Mon night..
Posts: 23,321

09-16-2004, 08:12 PM	#24
PastorMikH Will KC ever be better? Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Land of Red Dirt & Necks Casino cash: $103743	Maybe you shouldn't stand so close to the ball after you hit it. Went out and tried a new course today - definately needed the day out. After the first part of this week the fact that I hit maybe 1 good drive all day didn't even phase my attitude. Irons and wedges were working great and pulled my a decent score for the first time there and also playing from the championship tees. __________________
Posts: 20,427

09-16-2004, 08:15 PM	#29
KevB Agree to Disagree Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: The State of Euphoria Casino cash: $72578	That rant is about the funniest thing I've ever read online. I was in tears. The funniest thing of all is that my wife read it after she saw me laughing hysterically.....and she didn't even crack a smile. Apparently swearing at and threatening inanimate objects (which I've done many tiems) are a guy thing. BTW, isn't Soufflat a small town in Iowa?
Posts: 7,482

09-16-2004, 08:16 PM	#30
Iowanian Hey Jack! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: The Jolly Barnyard Casino cash: $417233	Sounds like a canidate to buy the putter at the 37 auction. __________________ "Silence is Golden. Duct Tape is silver"
Posts: 48,116

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