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Old 10-02-2002, 10:24 AM  
Phobia Phobia is offline
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Rejected Penthouse Letters

This is one of my favorites. All true, too.

My friend and I went to Chiefs training camp in River Falls as guests of the Chiefs like we always do. The Chiefs put us up in the college Dorms. We stayed in the same dorms the players and coaches did. The players are in one building, the coaches are in another and the guests, VIPs, NFL refs, etc. are in another building. We stayed in the VIP building with the NFL refs. That is actually a womens dorm building. In the summer, there are no women in the building except for female RA. Last year, we were told to use the womens restroom and shower room that was directly accross from our dorm room because there were no women in the building. This year, we got into town really late and checked in quickly. The RA gave us our keys and didn't go over any info or rules because we said we knew all of the rules because we've stayed there before. The next morning I got up to take a shower. I checked my buddy's dorm room and he was gone. He was already in the shower. I went into the shower room and stripped down. The shower room has 4 shower stalls (with curtains that are too short to close all of the way) and 2 bench stalls where you can stand or sit to dry off. I placed my clothes on the bench (neatly folded). I looked under the bench and there were some shower shoes. They were fuzzy wool. You know, the type of stuff you'd put on your Camaro seat. They looked kind of like bunny shower shoes, but they didn't have any ears. I thought, "that's wierd, my buddy doesn't wear bunny shower shoes, does he?". I bent over and looked under the stall walls. I could see 2 sets of legs in diffferent shower stalls. I assumed my buddy was in one and another dude was in another. There are other people in the dorms also, so it's not uncommon for other dudes to be there. I didn't think anything of it, passed the two occupied shower stalls and took my naked a$$ into the back shower stall. I was only in the shower for a couple of minutes. I heard my buddy get out and start drying off. I then heard someone else get out. I heard my buddy talking to the other person, but I couldn't hear what they were saying because the water was loud and the shower room echoed. I heard my friend leave quickly and then the other person left in a couple of minutes. My friend came back into the shower room and said " hey "Freakshow" (not my real name) get out of the shower RIGHT NOW!!" Obviously, something wasn't right. I said ok and I did. I went to his dorm room and he told me what had occured. He said that there was someone already in the shower when he went in and he assumed it was a guy. When he got out of the shower and was drying off, Danyelle opened the shower curtain and walked out, right in front of him. He had just wrapped a towel around himself. The dorm gives us these stupid little tiny shower towels. They are so small they don't wrap all of the way around. He was standing there with half of his a$$ hanging out. She came out wearting NOTHING but a T-shirt. It was one of those long T-shirts that go down to her a$$. We think that she realized that dudes were in the shower room and that is why she reached out of the shower stall to get her T-shirt that was hanging on a hook outside the shower stall and put it on while behind the curtain and in the stall. Otherwise, she would have come out, right in front of him, BUCK NAKED. She was very cool about it. She didn't scream or yell or get upset or anything. She simply said "this is a girls shower room". My buddy apologised a thousand times. She said "don't worry, no big deal". He then, took his nearly naked a$$ out. I was still in the shower at this time. I guess those were her fuzzy bunny shoes. My friend is a Youth Pastor and wouldn't tell me what he saw or didn't see. She had a T-shirt on but he said it didn't go all of the way down, especially when she turned around. He tried not to look. He wouldn't be any more specific then that. I do know that I walked right passed her shower stall when she was showering. She may have seen me buck naked. I don't really know. I don't really care. I didn't look into her stall (the shower curtains are only cover the shower stall opening by about 2/3. You can see right into any shower stall. I guess I could have looked but I assumed it was a dude and, of course, I don't look into a guy's shower stall. I don't know if I wish I'd looked or not. I would have seen all I wanted, but I'd probably have a law suit filed against me. She was really cool about the whole thing. Her dorm room was right next to ours. I talked to her out in the hallway right after the event and she said it was no big deal and she wasn't embarrased. We ran into her about a thousand times over the next 3 days. It was very awkward when we did. My friend and another dude that was still sleeping when all of this happened had gone to Bo's and Mine the night before and took note of a good looking black girl that was there. After this occured, they realized that she was the girl that they had seen the night before at Bos and Mine. We didn't know who she was until we got home and watched Metro Sports. We about had a heart attack when we saw her on TV. That's the story and it's all true. 100%.
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Old 03-04-2003, 03:47 PM   #46
ENDelt260 ENDelt260 is offline
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Originally posted by Skip Towne
Gochiefs, Is that you?
ouch
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Old 03-04-2003, 07:13 PM   #47
whoman69 whoman69 is offline
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Originally posted by mlyonsd
Here's mine!:

My wife and I went to a hotel once, stripped down, got into bed and did it. In the morning we ate at Perkins, I had the Country Fried Steak.


I never could figure out why they didn't print it.
You and Phobs need to figure out that they're not going to print your letter unless you talk about your giant throbbing manhood and her perfect 38Ds that are real. You gotta read the fine print in their submissions section.
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What the Raiders fan has said is true, our customs are different. What Al Davis has said is unimportant, and we do not hear his words.
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Old 03-05-2003, 12:27 PM   #48
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VARSITY
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Originally posted by Skip Towne
Gochiefs, Is that you?
Heh-heh. I had to pay a mileage penalty because I drove around and around the rental car place the rest of the week.
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Old 03-05-2003, 12:28 PM   #49
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kevin


Heh-heh. I had to pay a mileage penalty because I drove around and around the rental car place the rest of the week.


~Wasn't ready for that one....
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Old 03-08-2004, 03:06 PM   #50
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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With Spring Approaching....its nearing the season where the sensual wind whispers of possible neked ladies in River Falls Wisconsin.

I humbly await frequilizer's sequel......the Sequalizer! I like it.

This thread had sooo much potential.
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Old 03-08-2004, 03:09 PM   #51
seclark seclark is offline
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i'm in...got my feet kicked up and a beer in my hand.

make it a good one sequalizer...at least get to see something this time!
sec
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Old 03-08-2004, 03:13 PM   #52
Chief Roundup Chief Roundup is offline
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rejection for lack of ejection...
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Old 03-08-2004, 03:26 PM   #53
BIG_DADDY BIG_DADDY is offline
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Good ol equaliar. That's probably the closest he's come to hittin it dude, give him a break.
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Old 03-08-2004, 07:52 PM   #54
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Are you s hitting me?

So many posters, that NEVER get laid...and no one can come up with a rejected letter to top the frequilizer?

Kcchiefsman.....beerme.....gojensen.......you know you've got alot of "it didn't work out" material....

Let it rip.
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Old 03-08-2004, 08:05 PM   #55
morphius morphius is offline
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This was my comeback to the orginal posting of this one, also sadly true...
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I've got a true story to share as well...

Went out with one of my friends one night, real hottie (Blonde, huge blue eyes, nearly a 6pack, you get the idea), and while I was over at her house she took a shower. I didn't see anything, cause I was in the next room, but I was that close. After she is dressed we go over to meet her best friend, who is actually suprisingly ended up being even hotter, head to a local bar and all three share a fish bowl.

Later that night we head over to a house party that just so happens to have a hot tub in the back yard. After about 30 minutes of hanging out we all go and get changed for the hot tub. So right next door to where I was changing, were two hotties getting naked and puttin' on some shorts and t-shirts. We all slide into the hot tub together, so now I'm with a couple hotties who are all wet.

Then someone comes bursting through the backdoor and asks if we all want to go for a ride in the limo, so we all jump out and head back to change. Here I am again, right next door to a couple of hotties, who are now wet and changing clothes. I mean all I would have had to do is open the door to the room I was in and open the door to the room they were in, and boom, there would have been two hotties naked in front of me.

The Limo drives me back to my truck, I jump in and drive home. But that night, I was this close to seeing hotties naked.

Last edited by morphius; 03-08-2004 at 08:20 PM..
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Old 03-08-2004, 08:21 PM   #56
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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I'll write one for someone.....for historical reasons, we'll call him Ken.

So der I am in mah packer stAWckin hat with my pal Mark Chumura. We are cruisin down main street when this hot HS chic gets out of her dad's minivan and stops us....She's wearing this real tight number that stops just short of showing everything....the neckline plundges down near the aeriola of her ample breasticle. In her sultry voice, she says that If I'll come along too, we can pick up her friend and go to a private party.

We arrive at the house, and go to the back yard. Mark slides smoothly over to (we'll call her) Veronica and slides his arm around her shoulder in a way that oozed dominance. My task was simple...keep the big un busy so my friend could score. Even I, could surely make Carla "the refrigerator" Peterson busy.

I trip getting into the pool, and spill half of my wilderberry winecooler onto Big Betty. She snorts a little when she laughs, sucks some water into her nose and begins to choke. Seeing my chance, I pounce on her like a wildabeast in heat. My backhair flowed like Mane in the hottub. Something was wrong, and she slapped me off, as she choked for air. The Snot and water bubbling from her nose and onto her plump lip. It was just too hot to see that, and my gun went off early......as the sludge rose to the top, everyone jumped from the hot tub and said I ruined the party.

Unable to explain the mess to her father, the girl pressed charges on Mark, ruining my hero's career in Green Bay.
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Old 03-08-2004, 09:05 PM   #57
ENDelt260 ENDelt260 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian
Kcchiefsman
Holy smokes. He's posted plenty.... he just didn't know what thread to put it in.
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Old 03-09-2004, 09:20 AM   #58
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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No way can this be dropped back into oblivion yet.
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Old 09-09-2004, 07:49 AM   #59
vckcchiefs04 vckcchiefs04 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian
I'll write one for someone.....for historical reasons, we'll call him Ken.

So der I am in mah packer stAWckin hat with my pal Mark Chumura. We are cruisin down main street when this hot HS chic gets out of her dad's minivan and stops us....She's wearing this real tight number that stops just short of showing everything....the neckline plundges down near the aeriola of her ample breasticle. In her sultry voice, she says that If I'll come along too, we can pick up her friend and go to a private party.

We arrive at the house, and go to the back yard. Mark slides smoothly over to (we'll call her) Veronica and slides his arm around her shoulder in a way that oozed dominance. My task was simple...keep the big un busy so my friend could score. Even I, could surely make Carla "the refrigerator" Peterson busy.

I trip getting into the pool, and spill half of my wilderberry winecooler onto Big Betty. She snorts a little when she laughs, sucks some water into her nose and begins to choke. Seeing my chance, I pounce on her like a wildabeast in heat. My backhair flowed like Mane in the hottub. Something was wrong, and she slapped me off, as she choked for air. The Snot and water bubbling from her nose and onto her plump lip. It was just too hot to see that, and my gun went off early......as the sludge rose to the top, everyone jumped from the hot tub and said I ruined the party.

Unable to explain the mess to her father, the girl pressed charges on Mark, ruining my hero's career in Green Bay.
Very nice!!!
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Old 01-18-2005, 02:07 PM   #60
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by III
That was a amazing weekend.

This girl is like the sweetest and nicest girl i've met in my life, and for all you chiefs fans that will be at the game this year for the 37 forever event, get ready cause if i have the money im bringing her with me.

Then yall will get 2 meet her, oh yea and thanks for the help and advice yall have given me, it has helped me out tremendously.

Im pretty sure all you guys are gonna ask me some questions about what happened, i'll tell a little but dont expect me 2 get into high detail.

May the Questions begin.
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