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Old 10-02-2002, 10:24 AM  
Phobia Phobia is offline
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Rejected Penthouse Letters

This is one of my favorites. All true, too.

My friend and I went to Chiefs training camp in River Falls as guests of the Chiefs like we always do. The Chiefs put us up in the college Dorms. We stayed in the same dorms the players and coaches did. The players are in one building, the coaches are in another and the guests, VIPs, NFL refs, etc. are in another building. We stayed in the VIP building with the NFL refs. That is actually a womens dorm building. In the summer, there are no women in the building except for female RA. Last year, we were told to use the womens restroom and shower room that was directly accross from our dorm room because there were no women in the building. This year, we got into town really late and checked in quickly. The RA gave us our keys and didn't go over any info or rules because we said we knew all of the rules because we've stayed there before. The next morning I got up to take a shower. I checked my buddy's dorm room and he was gone. He was already in the shower. I went into the shower room and stripped down. The shower room has 4 shower stalls (with curtains that are too short to close all of the way) and 2 bench stalls where you can stand or sit to dry off. I placed my clothes on the bench (neatly folded). I looked under the bench and there were some shower shoes. They were fuzzy wool. You know, the type of stuff you'd put on your Camaro seat. They looked kind of like bunny shower shoes, but they didn't have any ears. I thought, "that's wierd, my buddy doesn't wear bunny shower shoes, does he?". I bent over and looked under the stall walls. I could see 2 sets of legs in diffferent shower stalls. I assumed my buddy was in one and another dude was in another. There are other people in the dorms also, so it's not uncommon for other dudes to be there. I didn't think anything of it, passed the two occupied shower stalls and took my naked a$$ into the back shower stall. I was only in the shower for a couple of minutes. I heard my buddy get out and start drying off. I then heard someone else get out. I heard my buddy talking to the other person, but I couldn't hear what they were saying because the water was loud and the shower room echoed. I heard my friend leave quickly and then the other person left in a couple of minutes. My friend came back into the shower room and said " hey "Freakshow" (not my real name) get out of the shower RIGHT NOW!!" Obviously, something wasn't right. I said ok and I did. I went to his dorm room and he told me what had occured. He said that there was someone already in the shower when he went in and he assumed it was a guy. When he got out of the shower and was drying off, Danyelle opened the shower curtain and walked out, right in front of him. He had just wrapped a towel around himself. The dorm gives us these stupid little tiny shower towels. They are so small they don't wrap all of the way around. He was standing there with half of his a$$ hanging out. She came out wearting NOTHING but a T-shirt. It was one of those long T-shirts that go down to her a$$. We think that she realized that dudes were in the shower room and that is why she reached out of the shower stall to get her T-shirt that was hanging on a hook outside the shower stall and put it on while behind the curtain and in the stall. Otherwise, she would have come out, right in front of him, BUCK NAKED. She was very cool about it. She didn't scream or yell or get upset or anything. She simply said "this is a girls shower room". My buddy apologised a thousand times. She said "don't worry, no big deal". He then, took his nearly naked a$$ out. I was still in the shower at this time. I guess those were her fuzzy bunny shoes. My friend is a Youth Pastor and wouldn't tell me what he saw or didn't see. She had a T-shirt on but he said it didn't go all of the way down, especially when she turned around. He tried not to look. He wouldn't be any more specific then that. I do know that I walked right passed her shower stall when she was showering. She may have seen me buck naked. I don't really know. I don't really care. I didn't look into her stall (the shower curtains are only cover the shower stall opening by about 2/3. You can see right into any shower stall. I guess I could have looked but I assumed it was a dude and, of course, I don't look into a guy's shower stall. I don't know if I wish I'd looked or not. I would have seen all I wanted, but I'd probably have a law suit filed against me. She was really cool about the whole thing. Her dorm room was right next to ours. I talked to her out in the hallway right after the event and she said it was no big deal and she wasn't embarrased. We ran into her about a thousand times over the next 3 days. It was very awkward when we did. My friend and another dude that was still sleeping when all of this happened had gone to Bo's and Mine the night before and took note of a good looking black girl that was there. After this occured, they realized that she was the girl that they had seen the night before at Bos and Mine. We didn't know who she was until we got home and watched Metro Sports. We about had a heart attack when we saw her on TV. That's the story and it's all true. 100%.
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Old 10-02-2002, 01:11 PM   #31
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kevin
Coming on the heels of posts 22 through 25, is anyone else worried that Wischief put "ladies" in quote marks in post 26?

Kevin, have you seen the "ladies" in TJ?

What can I say? Young, stupid and full of vigor!
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Old 10-02-2002, 01:43 PM   #32
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Back in the early 80's I was doing pest control when I get called to do a job at this house in Johnson County...

So I walk in and there are these two hot women sitting at the kitchen table..."I have to start upstairs" I said. "Fine" they say...one of the chicks is wearing this tight tee shirt and I could see her perky breasts and the outline of her nips...I was staring at her breats so I couldn't help but notice her tee shirt said "Conan the Barbarian" on it...anyway I go upstairs all the while thinking maybe these two chicks will come up and seduce me just like Penthouse letters or some such ****...needless to say they didn't...but when the movie Conan the Barbarian came out, I realized the chick with the nice breasts was none other then Sandahl Bergman....100% true...closest I ever came to doing a movie star in real life anyway...

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Old 10-02-2002, 01:45 PM   #33
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Quote:
Originally posted by mlyonsd
Here's mine!:

My wife and I went to a hotel once, stripped down, got into bed and did it. In the morning we ate at Perkins, I had the Country Fried Steak.


I never could figure out why they didn't print it.
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Old 10-02-2002, 01:48 PM   #34
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One sunday afternoon, as I walked through the convent orchard, a slightly "stalky" nun came dashing out the door. The wind caught her Habbit and blew it wistfully into the air, revealing the side of her hairy neck...Her age was starting to show, in the 85 year old silver, creaping towards her scalp. I picked up an apple off of the ground and took it to her, shining it on my dirty tee shirt, asking her if she'd like a bite. She gummed through her toothless smile that If I'd take it to the kitchen blender, she could have half, because a whole apple would loosen her bowel.....

thats all I have for now.



I'm working on a story about some Taliban Burka-nighty stories too!
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Old 10-02-2002, 01:55 PM   #35
58Forever 58Forever is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Iowanian
One sunday afternoon, as I walked through the convent orchard, a slightly "stalky" nun came dashing out the door. The wind caught her Habbit and blew it wistfully into the air, revealing the side of her hairy neck...Her age was starting to show, in the 85 year old silver, creaping towards her scalp. I picked up an apple off of the ground and took it to her, shining it on my dirty tee shirt, asking her if she'd like a bite. She gummed through her toothless smile that If I'd take it to the kitchen blender, she could have half, because a whole apple would loosen her bowel.....
Sounds more like a story for Catholic Times to me...
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Old 10-02-2002, 02:15 PM   #36
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Guys...I'm in a computer lab...and I'm sitting right next to a blonde. And underneath her clothes...she is naked.... now I need to hit ENTER before she sees this and slaps me..

I know this wasn't as good as my "Hot chicks talking fantasy football thread"...but it's the best I can come up with for now...
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Old 03-04-2003, 01:36 PM   #37
CHIEF4EVER CHIEF4EVER is offline
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Old 03-04-2003, 01:55 PM   #38
ENDelt260 ENDelt260 is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kevin
My rejected Penthouse Story (Sad but True)

When I was about 25, I went on a business trip to Monterey, California. I was renting my car, and a very attractive young woman was behind the counter. I asked her about some good places to sightsee, and she was giving advice. Then she said, "It's sad that you're going to all of these neat places by yourself. You don't have anyone you'd like to go with?"

I said, "Oh, it's not problem. I like going places by myself. In fact, it's better that way." She gave me my keys, and I sat in my car and slammed my head against the steering wheel for the next ten minutes.
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Old 03-04-2003, 01:56 PM   #39
ENDelt260 ENDelt260 is offline
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Re: My Crazy Spring Break Story

Quote:
Originally posted by suds79
told me she was into snowballing. I don't know that means but anything out of her mouth sounded good to me... Next thing I know shes jamming her tongue down my mouth,
Did you like the way your friends' jizz tasted?
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Old 03-04-2003, 01:57 PM   #40
CosmicPal CosmicPal is offline
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This kills me every time I think of this:

Years ago, fresh out of college, I was sharing a house with a few other roomies. One happened to be beautiful, vivacious blonde gal with piercing green eyes and breasts big enough to provide shade for small boys.

Anyhoo, we were alone one night...she wanted a massage. So, she laid down on the floor, (in her sweats), fully clothed, as I gave here a full massage. Needless to say, I was getting frisky, and couldn't stand it anymore...so, for some reason, I tickle her, she spins around facing me on the floor- laughing like crazy. We're both laughing when we get to staring at each other with a devilish smile...I'm (you know what), and I'm sure she's feelin' it...our heads begin approaching each other to start making out- when all of a sudden the front door slams open - and our roomies show up! Ugggghh!!!

I wanted it so bad...
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Old 03-04-2003, 02:01 PM   #41
ENDelt260 ENDelt260 is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by CosmicPal
when all of a sudden the front door slams open - and our roomies show up! Ugggghh!!!

I wanted it so bad...
Why'd you stop?
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Old 03-04-2003, 02:19 PM   #42
CosmicPal CosmicPal is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by ENDelt260


Why'd you stop?
The guys were not happy to see me on top of her like that...We were just about to "suck face" when they walked in. The guy who rented out the house was anal-retentive- he had a rule that absolutely no "*****ing" other roomies in his house or it will be cause for removal.

I was young then...needed a cheap place, and so did Tara. I hear she's actually in Denver as well. I might have to locate her, and see if she's still single, and would like to continue the massage further.
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Old 03-04-2003, 02:24 PM   #43
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kevin
My rejected Penthouse Story (Sad but True)

When I was about 25, I went on a business trip to Monterey, California. I was renting my car, and a very attractive young woman was behind the counter. I asked her about some good places to sightsee, and she was giving advice. Then she said, "It's sad that you're going to all of these neat places by yourself. You don't have anyone you'd like to go with?"

I said, "Oh, it's not problem. I like going places by myself. In fact, it's better that way." She gave me my keys, and I sat in my car and slammed my head against the steering wheel for the next ten minutes.
And he's still a virgin...
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Old 03-04-2003, 02:28 PM   #44
ENDelt260 ENDelt260 is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by CosmicPal


The guys were not happy to see me on top of her like that...We were just about to "suck face" when they walked in. The guy who rented out the house was anal-retentive- he had a rule that absolutely no "*****ing" other roomies in his house or it will be cause for removal.
What a chump.
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Old 03-04-2003, 03:41 PM   #45
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kevin
My rejected Penthouse Story (Sad but True)

When I was about 25, I went on a business trip to Monterey, California. I was renting my car, and a very attractive young woman was behind the counter. I asked her about some good places to sightsee, and she was giving advice. Then she said, "It's sad that you're going to all of these neat places by yourself. You don't have anyone you'd like to go with?"

I said, "Oh, it's not problem. I like going places by myself. In fact, it's better that way." She gave me my keys, and I sat in my car and slammed my head against the steering wheel for the next ten minutes.
Gochiefs, Is that you?
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