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Old 10-02-2002, 10:24 AM  
Phobia Phobia is offline
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Rejected Penthouse Letters

This is one of my favorites. All true, too.

My friend and I went to Chiefs training camp in River Falls as guests of the Chiefs like we always do. The Chiefs put us up in the college Dorms. We stayed in the same dorms the players and coaches did. The players are in one building, the coaches are in another and the guests, VIPs, NFL refs, etc. are in another building. We stayed in the VIP building with the NFL refs. That is actually a womens dorm building. In the summer, there are no women in the building except for female RA. Last year, we were told to use the womens restroom and shower room that was directly accross from our dorm room because there were no women in the building. This year, we got into town really late and checked in quickly. The RA gave us our keys and didn't go over any info or rules because we said we knew all of the rules because we've stayed there before. The next morning I got up to take a shower. I checked my buddy's dorm room and he was gone. He was already in the shower. I went into the shower room and stripped down. The shower room has 4 shower stalls (with curtains that are too short to close all of the way) and 2 bench stalls where you can stand or sit to dry off. I placed my clothes on the bench (neatly folded). I looked under the bench and there were some shower shoes. They were fuzzy wool. You know, the type of stuff you'd put on your Camaro seat. They looked kind of like bunny shower shoes, but they didn't have any ears. I thought, "that's wierd, my buddy doesn't wear bunny shower shoes, does he?". I bent over and looked under the stall walls. I could see 2 sets of legs in diffferent shower stalls. I assumed my buddy was in one and another dude was in another. There are other people in the dorms also, so it's not uncommon for other dudes to be there. I didn't think anything of it, passed the two occupied shower stalls and took my naked a$$ into the back shower stall. I was only in the shower for a couple of minutes. I heard my buddy get out and start drying off. I then heard someone else get out. I heard my buddy talking to the other person, but I couldn't hear what they were saying because the water was loud and the shower room echoed. I heard my friend leave quickly and then the other person left in a couple of minutes. My friend came back into the shower room and said " hey "Freakshow" (not my real name) get out of the shower RIGHT NOW!!" Obviously, something wasn't right. I said ok and I did. I went to his dorm room and he told me what had occured. He said that there was someone already in the shower when he went in and he assumed it was a guy. When he got out of the shower and was drying off, Danyelle opened the shower curtain and walked out, right in front of him. He had just wrapped a towel around himself. The dorm gives us these stupid little tiny shower towels. They are so small they don't wrap all of the way around. He was standing there with half of his a$$ hanging out. She came out wearting NOTHING but a T-shirt. It was one of those long T-shirts that go down to her a$$. We think that she realized that dudes were in the shower room and that is why she reached out of the shower stall to get her T-shirt that was hanging on a hook outside the shower stall and put it on while behind the curtain and in the stall. Otherwise, she would have come out, right in front of him, BUCK NAKED. She was very cool about it. She didn't scream or yell or get upset or anything. She simply said "this is a girls shower room". My buddy apologised a thousand times. She said "don't worry, no big deal". He then, took his nearly naked a$$ out. I was still in the shower at this time. I guess those were her fuzzy bunny shoes. My friend is a Youth Pastor and wouldn't tell me what he saw or didn't see. She had a T-shirt on but he said it didn't go all of the way down, especially when she turned around. He tried not to look. He wouldn't be any more specific then that. I do know that I walked right passed her shower stall when she was showering. She may have seen me buck naked. I don't really know. I don't really care. I didn't look into her stall (the shower curtains are only cover the shower stall opening by about 2/3. You can see right into any shower stall. I guess I could have looked but I assumed it was a dude and, of course, I don't look into a guy's shower stall. I don't know if I wish I'd looked or not. I would have seen all I wanted, but I'd probably have a law suit filed against me. She was really cool about the whole thing. Her dorm room was right next to ours. I talked to her out in the hallway right after the event and she said it was no big deal and she wasn't embarrased. We ran into her about a thousand times over the next 3 days. It was very awkward when we did. My friend and another dude that was still sleeping when all of this happened had gone to Bo's and Mine the night before and took note of a good looking black girl that was there. After this occured, they realized that she was the girl that they had seen the night before at Bos and Mine. We didn't know who she was until we got home and watched Metro Sports. We about had a heart attack when we saw her on TV. That's the story and it's all true. 100%.
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Old 10-02-2002, 11:51 AM   #16
shakesthecat shakesthecat is offline
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One time, I was driving back from Colorado, when a blizzard shut down the Interstate and forced me to find a motel room in Lincoln, Nebraska.
Well wouldn't you know, the guy in the room next to mine gets a knock on the door about 10:00, and sure enough, it was a hooker.

I don't need to tell you how thrilling it was to have a honest-to-goodness call girl right next door.
Fortunately, the wall was paper thin, so it was just like having her in my room.

Man! Whadda night!

All true! 100% I only wish I were making it up.
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Old 10-02-2002, 11:59 AM   #17
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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My rejected Penthouse Story (Sad but True)

When I was about 25, I went on a business trip to Monterey, California. I was renting my car, and a very attractive young woman was behind the counter. I asked her about some good places to sightsee, and she was giving advice. Then she said, "It's sad that you're going to all of these neat places by yourself. You don't have anyone you'd like to go with?"

I said, "Oh, it's not problem. I like going places by myself. In fact, it's better that way." She gave me my keys, and I sat in my car and slammed my head against the steering wheel for the next ten minutes.
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Old 10-02-2002, 12:00 PM   #18
suds79 suds79 is offline
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My Crazy Spring Break Story

Few years back I was on the beach partying in Cancoon with my four best friends. We were just drinking having a good time when all of a sudden there was this assembly line of dudes slammiong this chick.

Wanting to sease such great opportunity we jumped right in. Man this chick was hot for it. 10, 20, 30 dudes she couldn't get enough. Even the fat kid with asma was gettin some. Naturally, I was ready to rock by the time my lucky #144 came up. She had just got done with my friends and told me she was into snowballing. I don't know that means but anything out of her mouth sounded good to me... Next thing I know shes jamming her tongue down my mouth, I think I got some sand in my mouth like in the MTV video but I didn't care. It was on!

That was one day I'll never forget. 100% True.
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Old 10-02-2002, 12:04 PM   #19
siberian khatru siberian khatru is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kevin
My rejected Penthouse Story (Sad but True)

When I was about 25, I went on a business trip to Monterey, California. I was renting my car, and a very attractive young woman was behind the counter. I asked her about some good places to sightsee, and she was giving advice. Then she said, "It's sad that you're going to all of these neat places by yourself. You don't have anyone you'd like to go with?"

I said, "Oh, it's not problem. I like going places by myself. In fact, it's better that way." She gave me my keys, and I sat in my car and slammed my head against the steering wheel for the next ten minutes.
BUCK: Swing and a miss!
MCCARVER: That was a batting-practice fastball right down the middle of the plate.

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Old 10-02-2002, 12:05 PM   #20
siberian khatru siberian khatru is offline
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Actually, on second thought you never took the bat off your shoulder.
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Old 10-02-2002, 12:05 PM   #21
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kevin
My rejected Penthouse Story (Sad but True)
Reminds me of my "I would have banged two Vegas hookers if not for forgetting the time difference 'tween here and there and couldn't put in my bet for the 97 playoff game"story....



Also unfortunately true...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rico View Post
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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Old 10-02-2002, 12:26 PM   #22
58Forever 58Forever is offline
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still to this day, everytime I see a fat lady and her breasts I get really scared...true, 100%
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Last edited by 58Forever; 10-02-2002 at 01:02 PM..
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Old 10-02-2002, 12:33 PM   #23
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by BRAD_CAUDLE


Reminds me of my "I would have banged two Vegas hookers if not for forgetting the time difference ....
A friend of mine went on a business trip to Vegas once, and got asked for a ride by two women at a stoplight on the strip. He described them as attractive, and let them in the car, whereupon he figured out pretty quickly that they were really selling rides (if you get my drift), not asking for them. And then he figured out that they weren't really women, and that they didn't want to get out of his car...

(True story, though I've always suspected that he was telling some white lies about the first part of the story.)
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Old 10-02-2002, 12:38 PM   #24
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kevin


(True story, though I've always suspected that he was telling some white lies about the first part of the story.)
When we first got off the plane in Vegas and were picking up our bags me and my buddy Dave saw this hot chick across the way(probably 40-50 feet.)

We're talking 'bout who's gonna' hit on her, and I dare him, and we get about 10 feet from this chick and notice:

1. Big breasts
2. nice legs
3.Adam's Apple



We kept on walking, and agreed that since we were going to be drunk for a week straight, no hitt'n on the locals...
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"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico View Post
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 10-02-2002, 12:43 PM   #25
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Some things just ain't right.
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Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 10-02-2002, 12:44 PM   #26
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kevin
Some things just ain't right.
Definitely not......

First time in my life that when I was check'n out chix that I looked at their NECK first.....
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Quote:
"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico View Post
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 10-02-2002, 12:45 PM   #27
WisChief WisChief is offline
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I spent about a year at Camp Pendelton Ca while I was in the Marines. 19 years old, pocket full of cash. We'd go to Tiajuana every weekend when we could. "Ladies" in abundance.

You fill in the blanks - I'll guarantee you that it happened. True - 100% true. I promise.
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Old 10-02-2002, 12:45 PM   #28
mlyonsd mlyonsd is offline
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Here's mine!:

My wife and I went to a hotel once, stripped down, got into bed and did it. In the morning we ate at Perkins, I had the Country Fried Steak.


I never could figure out why they didn't print it.
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Old 10-02-2002, 12:46 PM   #29
Bricky Bricky is offline
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This one time....at Chiefs training camp......

Well, you know the rest.
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Old 10-02-2002, 12:54 PM   #30
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Coming on the heels of posts 22 through 25, is anyone else worried that Wischief put "ladies" in quote marks in post 26?
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Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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